


After all this time

by AFallingStar



Series: Time [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Kid Fic, M/M, Reconciliation, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 72,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFallingStar/pseuds/AFallingStar
Summary: AU in which Kurt and Blaine never got back together after 4x04. 12 years later their paths cross again. Will they be able to find their way back together after all this time?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865392
Comments: 87
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I’ve had in my head for many years and I’m finally getting it written down. I was never satisfied with all the breaking up and getting back together that happened with Klaine. I always knew they’d end up together, but I thought that it would make more sense if there was a bit more distance in between. In this story, everything Klaine related is AU after Blaine cheats in season 4. However, all other storylines are still canon for continuity!
> 
> And yes, I got my title from Harry Potter!
> 
> Let me know what you think!

**Tuesday, April 23, 2024**

KPOV

“Mr. Hummel?”

Kurt glances up from the clippings that covered his desk and finds his assistant Kennedy standing awkwardly in the doorframe.

“Yes?”

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but you have an important call on line 2.”

Kurt smiled and said, “Kennedy, you’re my assistant. You don’t have to worry about bothering me.” Kurt had worked hard to calm his temper over the years, and he didn’t want his new assistant to be afraid of him.

Kennedy offered her own small smile as she turned to leave. “Thanks, Mr. Hummel.”

“Oh, and call me Kurt!” Kurt called out to her retreating back. He picked up the phone and hit the 2.

“Kurt Hummel speaking.”

“Hello Mr. Hummel, this is Sarah from Cedar Hill Elementary?”

Kurt recognized the voice of the head secretary immediately and his heart dropped. “Ah yes, hello Sarah, is everything alright?”

“Well, I have Miss Grace here and she isn’t feeling too well, she’s running a bit of a fever.”

“Oh no, she was fine this morning!” Kurt exclaimed, glancing anxiously at the mess on the desk in front of him.

“Yes, she only just started complaining to her teacher of a headache about an hour ago and she’s been here laying down but it doesn’t seem to be getting much better. Now I know your nanny usually gets her on Tuesdays, but she’s been asking for you.”

Kurt felt his heart clench at those words. “I’ll be there as soon as can. I just have to tie up a few loose ends here but I can probably get to you in about 30 minutes?”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then.”

Kurt hung up the phone and and looked at his desk in dismay. “Kennedy!” He called out the door.

Within moments she had appeared again. “Yes Mr. Hummel?”

“Okay, you have to call me Kurt! Mr. Hummel is my father.” Kurt felt himself cringe a little at that cliched remark, but he really wanted everyone on his staff to feel comfortable with him.

“Okay...Kurt,” Kennedy replied, “how can I help you?”

“Can you send Toby in please? Grace is sick so I have to go pick her up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! I’ll go get him.” With that she turned on her heel and rushed away. She was nothing if not efficient, and within seconds the aforementioned Toby was entering the room.

“You called boss?” He said, running a hand through his platinum blonde hair. Toby was a senior member of Kurt’s team at Vogue.com, and he had led multiple projects for Kurt when he needed him to. His style was almost as good as Kurt’s was (though Kurt would never admit it) and he was known for his ever changing hair colour. This month’s platinum blonde was tame in comparison to the usual neon tones. What impressed Kurt the most was how Toby’s outfits never clashed with his hair colour which lead Kurt to believe that he likely had a wardrobe bigger than his own to accommodate the monthly change.

“I’m terribly sorry to put this all on you, but Grace is sick and I have to get her from school. I have most of the layout set up here, it just needs to be finalized before it goes live on the site tomorrow. If you could just finish editing the story and adjusting the layout, it should be ready for tomorrow morning.”

“Of course, no problem!” Toby replied, taking the USB stick that Kurt was offering him. “I’ll call you on your cell when it’s finished? Probably sometime around 6?”

“That’s perfect, thank you so much! Oh, and before I forget, we have that charity event coming up this Friday for LGBTQ+ youth. I’m not sure if I’ll be in tomorrow if Grace is still unwell, can I leave you in charge of confirming the tables? Everything else should be ready to go.”

“Yes, absolutely!” Tony replied. “I’ll talk to you later tonight! Give Grace a hug from me!”

Kurt smiled and replied, “I will!”

After Toby left, Kurt turned around and began gathering up his things. He decided to leave his desk in it’s current state as he didn’t want to mess up the flow of what he had done that day. He found it hard to leave behind his work but Grace came first.

***  
15 minutes later Kurt was rushing down the busy Manhattan street looking for a cab. He finally flagged one down and gave the driver directions to the elementary school. He was thankful that he was able to find a private school that was only a short journey away from the Vogue offices. As he stared out the window, he couldn’t help but think of how his life had turned out so differently than what he had expected. He never thought that he would be the person who dropped everything at work to pickup a kid, but here he was. His career was always so important to him and sometimes he found it strange how quickly his priorities had shifted, but he had no regrets.

The cab slowed down in front of the school and Kurt hopped out, asking the driver to keep the meter running. As he entered the front office, he could just see Grace sitting in the first aid room in the back, kicking her legs as she flipped through a picture book.

“Hi Sarah,” he said approaching the front desk. “I’m here for Grace.”

“Ah yes, hello Mr. Hummel,” Sarah replied. “You can go on over and get her.”

“Thanks!” Kurt replied, making his way to the open door. As he approached, Grace looked up, her eyes locking with his.

“Daddy!” She cried, hopping down off the bed and running to him, her long chestnut brown hair flying behind her.

“Hey Gracie girl, I heard you’re not feeling too hot?” He said as she threw her arms around his neck.

“I’m feeling sooooo hot, that’s the problem!” She said sniffling, her blue eyes watering. “My head is so sore.”

“I’m sorry that you don’t feel well. Should we go home? Get some ice cream?” He said, laying a hand on her forehead to feel that she was definitely feverish.

“Yes please,” she replied, “but only if it’s chocolate.”

“I think we have some in the freezer, let’s go find out.” Kurt extended his hand and she took it after pulling on her backpack. Together they said goodbye to Sarah and climbed in to the cab. They only lived a 10 minute walk away, but Kurt wanted to get Grace home and resting as soon as possible.

A few minutes later they pulled up outside the apartment building. The two climb out and walk hand-in-hand through the front doors, pulled open by the doorman, Sean.

“Thank you Sean! That’s a nice shirt you have on today!” Grace piped up as they walked through, and Sean and Kurt made eye contact, sharing a smile. Even sick, she was always the charmer. That was definitely not something she inherited from him, though he did work hard on manners. It didn’t seem to matter that Sean was wearing the same uniform shirt he wore everyday.

“You’re welcome Miss Grace!” He replied, winking down at her. “And thank you!”

They climbed into the elevator and rode up to the 12th floor, approaching the door to number 1242.

As the crossed the threshold, they are almost knocked over by two small 3 year olds, a boy and a girl who were shouting excitedly.

“Daddy! Daddy! Why are you home?”

“Daddy look at this sticker!!!”

Kurt felt the usual sense of overwhelm hit him like if always did when he got home, but he bent down to scoop up both in a hug.

“Hi babies,” he said. “Your sister isn’t feeling well so she had to come home from school.”

“Oh no!” The boy exclaimed, “She’s sick?”

“Yes Jack, she’s a little sick,” Kurt replied, “but don’t worry, she’s going to lay down and have some ice cream and then she’ll feel better.”

“ICE CREAM!” The little girl, Alice, shouted in his ear. “Can we have ice cream?”

“Yes, but you have to be quiet,” Kurt scolded gently, tugging on the end of one of her blonde braids. “Gracie has a headache.”

“Sorry, Daddy.”

“That’s okay, go play, we’ll have ice cream soon.” Kurt said, bending down to help Grace take off her school shoes. At that moment his nanny, Andrea, rounded the corner into the front hall, stepping aside as the twins ran past her.

“Kurt, you’re home early! Is something wrong?”

“No, just a little fever. Nothing that some ice cream won’t fix!”

“You should’ve called!” Andrea replied, “I would’ve gone to pick her up.”

“No, that’s okay, I didn’t mind and the secretary said she was asking for me. So you’re off the hook for this afternoon! How were the kiddos this morning?”

“Oh they were great,” Andrea said, as she gathered up her things. “We went to the park and then to library.”

“That’s awesome, thanks again.” Kurt replies, watching as she bent down to tie her shoes. “I’ll let you know if she ends up staying home tomorrow. If she does, I can take the day and stay with her.”

“Well if she does, I can still swing by and take Jack and Alice to preschool, I don’t mind. That way you don’t have to drag Gracie along with you and she can rest.”

“What would I do without you?” Kurt replied, smiling. Andrea was truly the best nanny and had been with them for 2 years now. She was always going out of her way to help.

Andrea smirked and replied, “Well you’d be a lot more tired, that’s for sure!” And with that she was out the door.

Kurt looked down at where Grace was still sitting on their front hall bench. “Come on, let’s get you into your jammies!”

He took her into her room and let her pick out the pajamas she wanted (blue with Elsa on the front) and helped her take off her uniform. If Kurt had one problem with private school, it would be the uniforms. He hated that he didn’t get to dress her for school everyday. When she was finished, he gave her a dose of children’s Tylenol and they headed back out into the living room where he got her settled on the couch with Frozen playing on tv, giving the twins strict instructions to keep the noise level down.

Once everyone was quiet, Kurt sat at the kitchen table and pulled out his laptop to send off a few emails that he forgotten in his haste to get to Grace. He still had a few last minute things to sort out for the charity event that he was running that Friday, and he had to confirm that the Cedar Hill High School glee club was set to perform. It was the sister school to Grace’s elementary, and he was so grateful to have them volunteer to get involved, and with the glee club nonetheless.

He couldn’t help but glance over at his babies as they sat quietly watching the movie. It wasn’t often that they were all quiet at the same time, so he was counting himself lucky to get a little work done. Alice was sitting up in front of the tv, a little too close in Kurt’s opinion but he decided not to ask her to move because he wanted to keep the peace. That girl had a short fuse and he didn’t need any temper tantrums right now. Grace was laying across the couch with a thumb in her mouth and her other arm dangling over the edge, her fingers twisting through Jack’s chestnut hair as he sat on the floor. She had been doing this since she was two years old and he was just a baby when she was so intrigued by his hair being like Kurt’s. She was even more surprised when Kurt held up the bottom of her hair to show her that she had the same hair as them too.

He could have never imagined that he would become a single father to 3 small children before he even turned 30 (though with his birthday rapidly approaching, that was about to change). When he got his dream job replacing Isabelle after her move to Paris, he thought that that was it for him. He had been bouncing around going on auditions for various broadway productions on his off days, and he had landed a few chorus roles here and there but he had also kept up working at Vogue. They were so understanding of his dreams but when he got the offer to replace Isabelle he knew that it was time to make a decision. He hadn’t looked back yet, although sometimes his heart would clench painfully as he watched Rachel and all her successes, but he was mostly at peace with his choice. Although his journey into single fatherhood was challenging, he was grateful for the stability that his job provided, and his bosses had always been so understanding of his unique situation.

Kurt was startled out of his musings by his phone ringing on the table. It was lit up with his favourite picture of Rachel (her holding a very tiny Grace and sticking her tongue out at the camera) and he braced himself before answering.

“Hey Rach, what’s up?”

“Kurt, hi! How is everyone over there?”

“Gracie actually had to come home early from school today, she has a fever.”

“Oh no! But Kurt, your event is in just a few days!” Rachel screeched in his ear.

“Don’t worry, Andrea is fine watching the kids when they’re sick, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Anyways, she’ll be better by then I’m sure” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes.

“Oh I hope so! Give her a huge kiss for me. So I’m calling to confirm that my cast is going on at 8:30?” Rachel and her cast had generously agreed to perform a selection of songs from Funny Girl. Rachel had been thrilled when she was cast as Fanny once again and got a second chance at her dream role.

“Yes, you’re after the Glee club.”

“I can’t believe you got a high school glee club to perform! A little on the nose, wouldn’t you say?”

“Oh hush, glee was so important to me and I know it was to you too. As a young, gay teen, it was the first place I fit in! Besides, this team won nationals last year, so they must be good!”

“Well in that case, I can’t wait to see them.”

“Great. If you want, you and Jesse can bring Sawyer here on Friday night? Andrea won’t mind one more. Especially since he’s still just a little lump.”

“Hey! How dare you call my Angel a lump?! I never called your children lumps!”

“All babies are lumps Rachel! All three of mine were lumps until they were about 18 months old. That’s when they started to get interesting.”

“You’re so sassy today!” Rachel said.

“I’m sassy everyday!” Kurt retorted. “And on that note, Frozen is ending and starving toddlers will soon be biting at my ankles for dinner so I should go.”

“Okay, love you, I’ll text you later.”

“Bye Rach, love you too.”

***

Later that night after everyone had showered and gone to bed, Kurt lay in his own scrolling through Instagram. He was stopped by a picture of his old Dalton friend Wes and his wife standing on the beach. Wes didn’t post all that often so when he did it often filled Kurt with memories he never thought about normally. Blaine.

He hadn’t seen Blaine in at least 12 years, not since Finn’s funeral, only 6 months after they had broken up. Blaine had kept his distance at the service and Kurt was too upset to even notice. Blaine had come up to him and given him a quick hug at the end but that was it. After that day, they never saw each other again. He knew from the other former glee club members that Blaine had cut himself off from them after graduation, and he didn’t come to reunions and get togethers. Last Kurt checked, he didn’t even have any social media.

Kurt didn’t let himself think about Blaine all that often anymore. It took years to recover from the hurt of being cheated on, and he was comfortable in the life he was living. But every once and awhile he would cross his mind. He wondered what Blaine was doing, was he married? Did he have children? Where was he living? He supposed if he really wanted to know he could reach out to Wes but he wasn’t sure that he was ready to open up that wound again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this story does deal with death, both canonical and not. However, all deaths have occurred in the past before the beginning of this story and will only be referenced and not experienced in a flashback.

**Friday, April 26, 2024**

KPOV

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. On Wednesday, Grace woke up still a bit feverish so Kurt took the day off and by Thursday she was as good as new. Kurt was grateful as he knew he wouldn’t be able to take another day off and that she would have to stay home with Andrea if she was still sick. Grace loved Andrea, but she was especially needy when she was sick and she usually just wanted to be with Kurt.

Friday morning dawned bright and sunny and Kurt could hardly contain his excitement for the charity event that night. He loved when he got to do things like this as they were different from the usual fashion world. Not that he didn’t love his work normally, he did, he just liked to switch it up sometimes.

Grace noticed right away that Kurt was in a better mood than usual. All three children were sitting up in the high backed stools at the kitchen island eating cereal while Kurt was doing their hair. He had already styled Jack’s hair with a tiny bit of gel and he was currently running a brush through Grace’s long mane. It was hitting her waist now, but he couldn’t bring himself to get it cut.

“Daddy?” She said. “Why are you humming so much?”

“I’m just very excited for my event tonight,” he replied as he divided the top of her hair in 3 sections. “I’ve been planning this for a long time and it should be a lot of fun!”

“Can we come?” Alice asked, turning her head to watch Kurt French braid Grace’s hair. Kurt was very proud of his hair styling abilities. When he found out that Grace was going to be a girl he spent hours watching YouTube videos and practicing different hairstyles on one of the mannequins at Vogue. Isabelle could hardly contain her laughter when she caught him at it, reminding him that she wouldn’t have enough hair for fancy hairstyles for a few years.

“No sweetie, it’s only for grown ups.” Kurt replied, tying the braid off with a small red scrunchie to match her uniform.

“Aw,” Alice pouted, and she dropped her spoon into her bowl with a loud clanking sound. “Is Aunt Rachel coming over then?”

“No, she’s coming to my event. But you’ll get to have lots of cuddles with Sawyer because he’s coming over to play.”

“Oh yay,” Jack said, eyes wide. “I won’t be the only boy!”

“That’s right,” Kurt replied as he moved on to Alice’s hair. Her blonde curls were always wild first thing in the morning so he reached for his spray bottle and comb. “Any requests?”

“Small pony,” she replied before adding, “and can you sing the dreams song?”

Kurt loved singing to his children and Alice seemed to love it the most. He started pulling the top half of her hair up into a ponytail (code: “small pony” in Alice speak) and started singing the “dreams” song. Kurt had recently started showing them some old musicals on Netflix and “The Greatest Showman” was their current favourite and they had him singing “A Million Dreams” at least 5 times a week. He started with the chorus, as he knew it was their favourite part.

_“Cause every night I lie in bed_  
_The brightest colors fill my head_  
_A million dreams are keeping me awake_  
_I think of what the world could be_  
_A vision of the one I see_  
_A million dreams is all it's gonna take_  
_A million dreams for the world we're gonna make.”_

All three children were singing along when Andrea used her key to come in a few minutes later.

***  
Kurt left Andrea to take Jack and Alice to preschool while he walked Grace to kindergarten. She was in the all day program and some days he was able to pick her up too. He loved his morning walks with Grace because he got to spend time with her alone without her little siblings interrupting. She always chattered the whole way.

“And Daddy, Joshua made the craziest face and said to Miss. Penney that her shoes were ugly and I said ‘no Miss. Penney, your shoes are beautiful and I should know because my Daddy works at Vogue and he knows fashion!’ And then Joshua stuck his tongue out at me and then Miss. Penney made him sit in the time out chair, isn’t that crazy?”

“Oh yes, really crazy,” Kurt replied as they arrived outside the school. He thought it was sweet that Grace stuck up for her teacher and he loved that she thought he was the leading authority on fashion.

He walked her up to the gates where the aforementioned Ms. Penney was waiting.

“Okay Gracie girl, give me a kiss.” Grace swung her arms around his neck and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

“Love you,” she called behind her as she ran to see her friends.

“Love you too!” He called back, before turning and heading to the nearest subway station.

The rest of his day at work was uneventful and before long he was strolling home with Grace again. He was only planning on being home for an hour or so to get ready before heading out again. When they got home, the girls ran off to play in Grace’s room and Jack trailed along after Kurt, giving Andrea the space to get dinner started.

Jack was sitting cross legged on Kurt’s bed playing with small toy dinosaurs while watching Kurt fixing his hair at his vanity.

“Daddy, how do you get your hair so tall?” He asked, watching Kurt perfect his signature coif.

“Lots of hairspray, look!” Kurt replied, spraying his head wildly.

Jack giggled before asking “Will I be tall one day? I want to be a big giant.”

“I’m sure you will be. And if you’re not, you can trick everyone by making your hair tall like me.”

“Have you ever met a giant. A really tall one?”

Kurt paused before turning around in his chair. “Yes baby, your Uncle Finn was big and tall like a giant. He was this tall,” Kurt stood up stretching his arms up and reaching his fingers to the ceiling.

“Wow,” Jack said, watching his arm, eyes wide. “Is Uncle Finn still in heaven?”

Kurt felt his throat tighten before he said, “Yes he is. He sits up in heaven and watches us to make sure we’re all alright. And he’ll always be there.”

Kurt had struggled with what to tell his children about death. His own atheism had made him uncomfortable with the idea of telling his children that people who died were in heaven. He didn’t know what to do when Grace started asking questions about her Uncle Finn, whose picture was plastered all over the apartment. He had called Carole in a panic, unsure of what to tell her.

“Oh Kurt,” she had said. “Death is hard to understand even in adulthood. I know you don’t believe in heaven but that’s where I imagine him to be. With his father and your mother keeping him company. What do you want to tell her?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt had replied, “My own beliefs seem too harsh for a 3 year old. But I don’t want to lie to her.”

“Well, she believes in Santa, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“So, in my opinion, Santa is a beautiful lie we tell. It teaches children about giving and good behaviour and all those things that we want them to know about. Why can’t heaven be a beautiful lie too? None of us truly know what happens next. And one day she will form her own opinions like you did. Did you grow up thinking your mother was in heaven?”

“Yes, at first.”

“And you were still able to form your own opinions later, as will she. You don’t even have to call it heaven if you want, it can just be a better place.”

In the present, Kurt remembered that conversation fondly. Carole was the best at giving advice.

Kurt stood up and was pulling on his tuxedo jacket as the doorbell rang.

“I’LL GET IT!” Came the loud shriek from the bedroom next door followed by tiny feet scampering across the floor.

“Remember the rules, Alice!” Kurt heard Andrea call out.

He held his hand out to Jack and they followed along. They had just rounded the corner to hear Alice ask loudly through the door, “Who is it?”

“Aunt Rachel, Uncle Jesse, and Sawyer,” came the reply.

“EEK!” Alice shrieked while throwing open the door and colliding with Rachel legs. Those two were kindred spirits. Alice’s boisterous personality always reminded Kurt of Rachel and they got along fabulously.

Rachel was wearing a long navy blue evening gown, with a garment bag slung over her arm. Jesse was wearing a black tux and pushing the stroller with baby Sawyer in it.

Kurt immediately bent down to scoop up the baby, placing kisses on his chubby cheeks.

“Oh Kurt, you look so handsome!” Rachel exclaimed.

“Why thank you,” Kurt replied, throwing his free arm out and doing a little spin. He was wearing a sleek grey tux that was perfectly tailored. “That dress is fabulous.”

“Nice try, everyone here knows you picked it out.”

“Well yes, but you look fabulous in it and that has nothing to do with me!”

“You all look fabulous,” came Andrea’s voice from the kitchen. “Now take your fabulous butts and get out of here!” She said, walking in and taking Sawyer from Kurt.

“You’re right,” Jesse said. “I’ll head down and get us a cab?”

“Yes dear, we’ll be down in a minute,” Rachel said from where she was sitting on the hall bench with Alice in her lap.

“Okay kids, come say goodbye!” Kurt called into the living room. Grace and Jack came racing in seconds later from where they had been flipping through the Netflix selection. He picked up each one individually and gave them a hug and kiss before taking Alice from Rachel.

“You kids be good for Andrea. I’m going to be home late so I’ll see you in the morning.” He was saying as Rachel handed Andrea the diaper bag.

“The playpen is still set up in the den from last time,” Kurt added after Rachel finished rattling off her long list of instructions.

Finally they made their way downstairs and into the waiting cab and before long they were pulling up at the venue. Kurt showed Rachel and Jesse to their table before pointing Rachel in the direction of the dressing rooms for her to put her costume down in.

Kurt was ecstatic about how the decorations had turned out. He was doing his final sweep before he was supposed to make his introductory speech when he heard it.

“Hi, I was told to ask for Toby James? He’s who I’ve been communicating with. We’re the Cedar Hill High glee club?”

Kurt froze where he was adjusting a flower arrangement on one of the nearby tables. He knew that voice, but he wasn’t sure if his mind was playing tricks on him.

“Sure, what’s your name?” Kurt heard the security ask.

“It’s Blaine. Blaine Anderson.” And Kurt’s heart dropped.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important to note that we are going to start seeing some time jumps and POV shifts, so pay attention to the time stamps!

**Friday, April 26, 2024 (continued)**

KPOV

Kurt felt a strange urge to flee when he first heard Blaine’s voice. He wondered briefly if he could make a quick escape without anyone noticing before he remembered that this was HIS event. He tried to decide what to do instead, should he say something? Pretend he didn’t notice? Wait for Blaine to approach him? He heard Toby come out and talk to Blaine briefly before the decision was made for him.

“Oh you need to meet my boss! He’s the one who organized this whole thing! I think he’s been in communication with your principal.” Kurt heard him say before his voice became a little louder and he called out, “Hey Kurt, can you come over here?”

Kurt knew then that his chance for escape was gone so he finished straightening the flowers before he let himself turn around.

Blaine was standing some distance away surrounded by about 15 teenagers who were all glancing around the hall and whispering to each other excitedly. Kurt felt the moment that Blaine’s eyes landed on him, and he felt his heart clench as he crossed the distance. He was dressed in a handsome suit (with a black bow tie of course) and his curly hair was styled instead of slick. Age had been kind to Blaine after all these years and Kurt was certain that he was even more attractive now. He still felt that flutter in his heart when they locked eyes for the first time in 12 years.

Blaine’s mouth was hanging open, but he quickly snapped it shut when Kurt was about 10 feet away.

“Oh my god, Kurt.” He said, his voice shaking slightly as he fidgeted with the bottom of his jacket.

Kurt took a moment to insure his voice was steady before replying, “Blaine Anderson, in the flesh.”

“It’s me,” Blaine chuckled back nervously. “I had no idea you’d be here.”

“Well I can say the same for you! But seeing as this is my event, my attendance was pretty much mandatory.” Kurt said, laughing a little as he eyed the teenagers watching the exchange. “I would ask why you’re here but I think it’s pretty obvious.”

Blaine laughed too before saying, “Yes, I’m a high school teacher and I run the glee club.”

At this point Toby, who had been watching the whole exchange with a confused look on his face piped up and said, “I’m sorry, do you two know each other?”

Kurt and Blaine locked eyes again before Blaine turned slightly to see if his students were still listening. Which they were of course. “We’re, um, old friends from high school.”

Kurt understood immediately that Blaine was trying not to discuss his personal life in front of his students so he said, “Yes, he was one of my best friends.”

Toby could tell by the looks the men were exchanging that it was much more than that but he knew better than to say anything. “Well, I was just about to show them to their dressing room.”

“Ah yes, I have a few more things to check on before we get started but maybe I can come and find you later?” Kurt asked Blaine, his heart pumping wildly in his chest.

“Oh yes, definitely!” Blaine replied, a small smile forming across his face.

Kurt watched as Blaine and his students walked across the hall to where the dressing rooms were.

The shock of the last five minutes settled into his bones for a moment before he came to his senses and ran off to find Rachel. He found her sitting with Jesse at their table, sipping wine.

“Rachel, oh my god, oh my god,” he cried flinging himself into the empty chair next to her and reaching for her wine, downing it in one go.

“Hey, what’s going on?!” Rachel asked, a look of confusion gracing her features.

“Blaine is here! He’s here! I just talked to him! Oh my god!”

“You’re kidding! Why is he here!?” She replied.

“He’s a teacher! He runs the glee club I was telling you about!”

“Oh wow, what are the odds of that?” She replied before glancing around. “Where is he?”

“They’re in their dressing room but I’m sure they will be at their table soon. Oh my god this is a nightmare.” Kurt said, placing his head in his hands.

“Wait, who’s Blaine?” Jesse asked from Rachel’s other side.

“He was my first love and he broke my heart 12 years ago. I haven’t seen him in years.”

“Oh wow, that’s so awkward!” Jesse replied. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yes, briefly, but we decided we would talk later.” Kurt said groaning, his eyes darting around as he looked for more alcohol. He spotted waiter with a tray of wine and flagged him down, grabbing two glasses and promptly setting one down in front of Rachel to replace the one he drank.

“Are you okay?” She asked, resting her hand on his forearm.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “I thought I would feel more angry when I saw him but to be honest I just felt a little sad. But I also felt hopeful? He must live nearby if he teaches at Cedar Hill and if anything, it would be nice to get my friend back.”

“Oh Kurt,” Rachel said. “That would be nice. So...how did he look?”

“So hot,” Kurt groaned. “I didn’t think it was possible for him to become more attractive but adulthood suits him.”

Suddenly, Rachel gasped and stood up quickly from her seat. “There he is! I have to go say hello! Come on Kurt!”

“Oh no, I can’t do that again.”

“Please, come on!” Rachel grabbed his arm and hoisted him up. “You can come with me to say hello and then excuse yourself to get ready to give your introductory speech.”

“Fine,” Kurt said, downing the end of his wine as he stood up from the table.

“Be back in a moment dear,” Rachel said to Jesse as she linked her arm in Kurt’s.

Blaine looked up as they approached and a wide, genuine smile crossed his face when he noticed Rachel. “Well if it isn’t broadway legend Rachel Berry!” His surrounding students had fallen quiet when Rachel appeared. She has become a minor celebrity after winning a Tony 4 years ago, and she was very well known in the broadway community. Kurt supposed it made sense that the glee club would know who she was.

“Blaine Warbler! You’re so handsome still! I’m going to hug you now!” She said, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

“I can say the same for you!” Blaine chuckled, making brief eye contact with Kurt over Rachel’s shoulder. “Oh Kurt, I forgot to introduce you two before.” He gestured to a man sitting in the seat next to Blaine’s now empty one. “This is Tom, Tom Watson. He’s my colleague and friend, and he graciously volunteered to come tonight as a chaperone.”

Kurt hadn’t noticed this man earlier and he was frankly surprised as he was he extremely attractive with wavy blonde hair and tan skin. He grinned and extended his hand to to Kurt and even his teeth were perfect. Kurt wondered briefly if the two of them were together but he quickly pushed the thought out of his mind as it truly didn’t matter and it frankly was none of his business.

“Nice to meet you, Tom,” Kurt said, grasping Toms hand.

“I have to say, I’m out of my element at this event as a high school gym teacher, but I’m so excited to be here!” He definitely looked like a gym teacher, not to mention his strong grip, yet his voice was quiet and kind.

“Well I’m glad you could all make it! I wanted to showcase local talent, and I have special ties to Cedar Hills and also to glee clubs.” Kurt felt the words leave his mouth before he could stop them, and he felt Blaine’s questioning glance land on him. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to hide his children from Blaine, and he was quite sure that it was unlikely that Blaine knew about them and his confused stare confirmed it. Kurt knew that they would come up eventually, but he decided he should save that conversation for their talk later and not for 5 minutes before he was due to hit the stage.

“Well I should go,” Kurt said quickly before anyone had the chance to question his earlier comment. “I have to do my introductions and announce dinner.”

“Okay,” Blaine said. “I’ll come and find you later?”

“Yes, for sure,” Kurt said as he turned and rushed to the side of the stage.

When he got there, he took out his notes before stepping up to the podium and addressing the crowd. He could already feel the effects of his two glasses of wine on an empty stomach and he made a mental note not to drink anymore. He wanted to be fully functional for his talk with Blaine.

“Hi everyone! I’m Kurt Hummel, senior editor with Vogue.com. Thank you so much to everyone who so generously donated today. Don’t forget to check some of the amazing auction prizes we have available. They are all lined up along the outer walls! 100% of the proceeds from this event will be sent to various LGBTQ+ organizations around the country. For details, please refer to the booklets you were given when you first arrived. We’ve got some fantastic performances for you tonight but we’re going to kick it off with dinner. Please make sure you’re sitting at your assigned table and I’ll be back soon!” Kurt left the stage to applause, and headed over to the staff table.

The next hour passed in a blur with Kurt rushing around in between bites of his dinner, mingling with various guests. He kept as far away from Blaine’s table as he could, though he could’ve sworn he could feel Blaine’s eyes trailing him. Soon enough, it was time for him to head back to the stage and announce the glee club. As he climbed up to the podium a hush fell over the crowd.

“It’s time for our first performance of the evening! Now if you know me personally I have a special tie to glee clubs. As a young, gay teen, I struggled to find my place in the shark-infested high school waters. Glee club was the first place where I felt accepted, where I made lifelong friends, where I found my first crush, and where I fell in love for real for the first time. No one batted an eye when I came out, or wore my extravagant outfits. No one cared when I sang duets with my boyfriend, or auditioned for the female vocal leads. Glee club was the first place I felt belonging, and I am still close with my own club today. I knew that the first performance I wanted to have at this special event would be a glee club. So, I invited the reigning national champions that are based right here in New York at Cedar Hill High School! So, without further ado, performing their winning set list, please join me in putting you hands together for Sing-Sational!”

Kurt turned and walked off the stage, heart thumping wildly. He had written his speech two weeks ago, and he had no idea that Blaine would be there to hear it. It had felt odd to talk about his first love with Blaine there in the room, and he felt the strange urge to seek him out in the crowd. But Blaine was standing on the side with his students so he was out of Kurt’s line of vision which Kurt decided was a good thing because he wasn’t sure if he could keep his focus if they made eye contact.

As Kurt took his seat, he watched the glee club assemble themselves on stage in the dark. He could just make out Blaine standing on the sides, his hands clasped behind his back as he rocked back and forth on his feet. Kurt heard the opening bars of “Change of Seasons” by Sweet Thing start to play and a memory that he forgot he had crashed over him.

**Saturday, April 2, 2011**

KPOV

The end credits of “Easy A” had just started rolling when he felt Blaine turn to to him. After only 3 weeks of dating, Kurt and Blaine had kept it relatively chaste. Closed-mouth kisses sitting or standing upright had been the standard. Kurt had discovered that he rather liked kissing and he often found himself distracted by Blaine’s lips when they were sitting in class or singing in glee.

He looked up at Blaine’s face when the first lyrics of the credits started.

_“You want love but you fear it.”_

The look in his eyes was unlike one he had ever seen Blaine wear before. He looked hungry while at the same time nervous. He leaned in and placed a kiss on Kurt’s lips. Kurt let himself be pulled in to the kiss and there was a few moments when it was like every other time. Then suddenly, Kurt felt Blaine’s tongue hesitantly touch his lips and without a second thought he opened them to grant him entrance.

_“You sewed shut the curtains  
You closed out the light coming in.”_

Kurt was shocked at the feeling of Blaine’s tongue on his. He couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped his throat as Blaine deepened the kiss, scooting forward on the bed to be closer to Kurt. Kurt felt embarrassed by the sound he had made and was about to pull back when Blaine moaned in response.   
_  
_

_“'Cause inside you're working  
You're mending what's broken”_

Kurt had never felt so desired before as he did when he heard that sound from Blaine. They had somehow shifted to clasping hands as they both moved to their knees to get into a better position. Kurt felt Blaine let go and move his hands to cradle Kurt’s face so Kurt allowed his own to rest on Blaine’s hips as the kiss became more intense.

It was only moments later that he heard the front door slam and Finn start bounding up the stairs. The two quickly jumped apart, glancing at the open door and sharing small smiles.

_“Baby don't worry  
Where we going I don't know.”_

**Friday, April 26, 2024  
  
**

KPOV

Kurt allowed the memory to wash over him as he listened to the glee club perform that same end credits song. It was a memory that he had forgotten, triggered by the opening chords of the song. Did Blaine remember that day?   
  


He could barely hear the rest of the setlist, though it vaguely registered that it was a collection of songs from his teenage years, though none had the impact like that one had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: discussions of death in this chapter.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has read my story and left kudos! I was nervous to start posting and I’m glad people are enjoying it!

**Friday, April 26, 2020 (continued)**

BPOV

Blaine had felt anxious all evening since his unexpected run-in with Kurt. He could admit that he had thought about Kurt when his principal informed him that this event was being put on by Vogue, but it had been twelve years since he had started working there and he figured Kurt would’ve gone somewhere else by now. The temptation to google had been strong, but he refrained and was therefore quite shocked to actually see Kurt. He didn’t know if it would’ve been better to know that Kurt was going to be there, but he supposed he would rather the shock than the week of anxiety.

He had thought about Kurt many times over the last 12 years. His infidelity was his biggest regret, and he often wondered where they would be if he hadn’t done it. He was certain that they would still be together, maybe have a couple of kids by now. Blaine had been in and out of relationships for years but nothing had ever turned serious enough to consider marriage and children. Seeing Kurt in person had brought so many of his old feelings rushing to the surface. He had told himself time and time again that his feelings for Kurt were gone but the moment he saw him, he knew that wasn’t true and the thought terrified him.

Blaine felt significantly calmer as he watched his students perform. These were by far their best numbers and he loved that they had the chance to perform them again. A quick glance at the audience confirmed that they were enjoying it too. He bounced a little on the balls of his feet and turned his head to find Kurt.   
  


Kurt had curious expression on his face and Blaine wasn’t sure what that meant. Did he like it? He was quite pleased with this set list because it revolved around songs from their high school days and he wondered if they were having the same happy effect on Kurt that they had on him.   
  


When their set came to an end, Blaine was pleased to see the audience on their feet. His students ran off excitedly and engulfed him in a group hug like they always did after a performance. This time he caught Kurt smiling at them as he walked back up to the stage to announce Rachel’s cast. His students scurried to make it back to their table so they could watch.

Rachel was fantastic, though Blaine didn’t expect anything less. He had heard about her disastrous first run as Fanny and he was pleased to know that she was getting a second chance. Everyone deserves a second chance, especially those who are older and wiser.

***

”Okay man, what’s the deal?” Tom said to Blaine as they watched the students run off to look at the silent auction prizes after all the performances were over.

Tom had easily become one of Blaine’s closet friends. They bonded in university while working on their teaching degrees and Blaine had been thrilled when they got hired at the same school. Tom has always reminded Blaine of Sam with his California blonde hair and tan skin, and the easy way that he developed a friendship with a gay guy without any hangups. That was where the similarities ended though. Tom was highly intelligent, and his knowledge often threw people off as it wasn’t what they expected of him. He was extremely soft-spoken, and he only ever raised his voice when he had to be heard in gym class.

”Whatever do you mean?” Blaine replied teasingly, feigning ignorance.

“You know what I mean! You ‘old friend’ over there? Is he THAT Kurt?”

Blaine looked over to where Kurt was chatting with some of his guests. His tailored suit fit him impeccably, and he face was lit up in a genuine smile. His skin was still flawless and Blaine was sure that was due to the hours of skin care he devoted himself to. He felt a pang of longing as he watched him, no longer a boy but a man, and he felt even more attracted to him now than he did back then, if it was even possible.

”Yes, that’s the one. I know you know the story of how I cheated and ruined everything, don’t make me relive it!”

”Ahh yes, the tale that only ever emerges over vodka.” Tom teased, bumping his shoulder into Blaine’s. “How long has it been?”

”I haven’t seen him in 12 years. I honestly never thought I would see him again.” Blaine replied. “We said we’d talk tonight.”

“And how do you feel about that?” Tom asked curiously, watching Blaine’s face carefully.

”So anxious. But also excited. He was my best friend for years, and I do miss him. I want to know what his life is like, if he’s happy.” Blaine said, still glancing over at Kurt. Then, as if his ears were burning, Kurt made eye contact. He smiled and hugged the woman he was talking to. He slowly began to make his way through the tables over to where Blaine was sitting. 

“Oh shit, he’s coming over here. It’s happening now.” 

“Calm down, this will be good!” Tom said, “I thought you wanted this?”

”I do! It’s just that we never talked about it. I told him I cheated and that was it, he was gone forever.” Blaine said, awkwardly patting at his hair as if Kurt hadn’t been seeing it all night already. 

”It will be okay, don’t worry!” Tom was saying just as Kurt finally reached them.

”Hi,” Kurt said as he slide into the seat next to him.

”Hello again Kurt!” Tom said. “Well, I’m just about to gather up the students. Their parents should be outside in about 10 minutes. I don’t mind overseeing pickup if you would like to stay in here Blaine?”

”That would be great! Let me just quickly say goodbye and I’ll be right back.”

Blaine jumped up and ran over to where the students had congregated.

”Okay everyone, amazing job tonight! Mr. Watson is going to take you out to meet up with your parents so I can spend some more time catching up with my old friends.”

”Was the Kurt guy your boyyyyyfriend Mr. Anderson?” A girl named Maddie asked.

”Sure looked like it to me,” another student, Carter added.

”Well maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, but you’ll never know,” Blaine replied, grinning cheekily. “Now, off you go! I’ll see you on Monday.”

A chorus of “Bye Mr. Anderson” followed him as he made his way back to Kurt. When he got there Kurt looked up at him expectantly.

”There’s a courtyard out back,” he said, twisting his hands in front of him. It was a nervous habit left over from his teenage years, and the sight of him doing it took him right back to 2010. “I wouldn’t mind a bit of fresh air?”

”Sounds perfect, let’s go.” Blaine could hear the blood pumping in his ears as he followed Kurt outside. He was afraid that it would be awkward, or tense. Was Kurt angry still? Was he taking Blaine outside to yell at him? 

The courtyard was beautiful, strung up with hanging fairy lights, and Kurt lead him over to a picnic table so they could sit facing each other. For a moment they just sat and stared at each other before Kurt broke the silence.

”Your glee club was fantastic,” he said. “I loved the set list.”

”Thank you! They work so hard. And that set list is my personal favourite, reminds me of a simpler time.”

Kurt was studying him with that strange expression on his face again, eyes searching for something in Blaine’s expression. Finally, he said, “I know we need to talk but I don’t even know where to start,” He shifted his gaze down to his clasped hands. “So much changes in 12 years.”

”You’re right it does,” Blaine said. “Why don’t we start easy? How did you get to be such a big shot editor at Vogue?”

Kurt smiled and launched into a story about Isabelle and Paris, and the death of his broadway dreams. He talked about how happy he was and how fulfilling he found his job to be. “I knew I had an eye for fashion, Blaine. It’s been nice to put it to work. I always knew that I would have to choose one passion, and I’m glad fashion was it. I do love to sing at home though. But what about you? I never would have imagined that you’d become a teacher?”

”Well, I moved to Chicago after graduation with the intention of pursuing law, which is what my father wanted. But I fell in love with English literature when I took it as an elective and I decided that teaching it would be something that I would enjoy. When I moved to New York, I lucked out with this position at Cedar Hill where I could also do music.”

”So why did you leave Chicago?” Kurt asked curiously.

”Honestly, it never felt like home to me. The dream was always New York.” Blaine watched as Kurt’s smile slipped slightly at those words. Blaine was furious with himself for making it awkward. New York was never “the dream” it was always “their dream.” 

Blaine continued on, eager to diffuse the tension. “It was helpful that Tom also wanted to move to New York so I didn’t have to come here alone.”

”I see,” Kurt said, a curious expression on his face. “And are you and Tom—?”

”Oh!” Blaine laughed, “No way. Tom is unfortunately very straight, he’s just my best friend. He worked as a sub for a year after we moved before he also got hired at Cedar Hill.”

Kurt laughed with him while saying, “That’s too bad! He’s so handsome.”

”I know, a true shame.” Blaine replied, grinning. “But I’m happy to have him as a friend.”

Kurt nodded thoughtfully and Blaine decided it was time to ask the question he had been wondering all evening.

”So you said earlier that you had special ties to Cedar Hill. What did you mean by that?”

Kurt suddenly looked nervous and Blaine wasn’t sure what that meant. He took a moment before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He unlocked it and swiped for a moment before he passed the phone over to Blaine.

Blaine found himself staring at a photo of three children sitting on the edge of fountain in Central Park. Blaine knew instantly what Kurt was trying to tell him. They were carbon copies of him, all with sparkling blue-green eyes, and 2 of the 3 with his chestnut hair. Blaine was mesmerized by the photo, and it took him a moment before he looked up.

Kurt was carefully watching him for his reaction as he twisted his hands again, biting his bottom lip.

”My oldest daughter, Grace, goes to Cedar Hill elementary. The school is fantastic.” He said while gesturing to the oldest girl in the photo.

”Kurt, they’re beautiful.” Blaine said and Kurt smiled widely.   
  


“Thank you! That one’s Jack and this one is Alice. They’re twins and they’re 3. Grace is in kindergarten.”

Blaine couldn’t explain why his chest tightened painfully as he looked at the photo of Kurt’s children. He felt a strange mix of happiness and longing as he saw the way Kurt’s face lit up with pride as he described each one.

”Gracie is just the sweetest little thing. She has the best manners and she’s always complimenting people. Oh and she loves Frozen! And Jack, he loves dinosaurs, he always has at least one in his hand and he must own at least 20 dinosaur shirts, which is a lot when you’re only 3. And he’s so quiet, he sometimes is so quiet I forget he’s there! And Alice is hard-headed and sassy but I absolutely love it. Sure it’s annoying when talks back or throws a tantrum, but she doesn’t let anyone walk all over her and I know she’ll become a strong woman with an attitude like that.” His eyes were shining with love and Blaine felt that pang of longing again, longing for a life he could’ve had.

Blaine swallowed hard and he was sure that it was loud enough for Kurt to hear. “They seem wonderful Kurt, they really do.”

Kurt sighed, “They are. Even if sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out.”

Blaine considered his next comment carefully, but he had to know. “You and your partner must be very happy.”

Kurt’s face fell suddenly, though he quickly tried to recover. “So you don’t have any ties to anyone who knows me then?”

Blaine was confused by the abrupt change of topic, and he replied “No. But that’s a story for later. I have no social media and I don’t talk to many people from my past.”

Kurt nodded thoughtfully and paused for a moment before dropping his bombshell.

”My husband died nearly four years ago. He was gone two months before the twins were even born. I’m raising the three of them on my own.”

Blaine could see the agony in Kurt’s expression, and he felt the moment that his own face fell. 

”Oh my god, Kurt.” Blaine hesitated for a moment before making the decision to reach his hands across the table and rest them on top of Kurt’s. Kurt looked startled by the sudden contact, but he didn’t pull away. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

”It’s fine, I don’t mind talking about it. And for some reason have the strongest urge to just spill my guts to you. I guess that’s one thing that hasn’t changed in twelve years.” Kurt smiled sadly. “Are you sure you want to hear about it?”

”Yes, I’m sure.” Blaine wasn’t sure if Kurt was comfortable with him resting his hands on his so he gently lifted them away and gave Kurt a moment to sip from the water bottle he had brought outside with him. He watched him take a few deep breaths before he launched into his story.

”I met Justin during my final year at Nyada. He was actually my stage combat professor, which I know sounds cliche. But he was young, only three years older than I was and because he was already widely respected in the Broadway community he had been asked to come and teach at his alumnus. We hit it off right away and had a great banter going but of course nothing happened while he was still my teacher. But as soon as graduated—literally, I was still in my cap and gown!—I found him and gave him my number.” Kurt laughed a little at that and Blaine joined him.

”Everything happened really quickly after that. He was my first serious relationship since you and we fell in love pretty quickly. We were married less than two years later.”

Kurt paused and took another sip of his water. Blaine waited patiently, lightly tapping his fingers on the top of the table. Kurt took a deep breath before continuing. 

”To understand the rest of this story you have to know about his past. When Justin was seven years old he was diagnosed with Leukaemia. He fought for a few years and he eventually went into remission, but his cancer came back two more times, once at age twelve, and again at nineteen. When we met, he had been in remission for years and was going in for lots of regular checkups. He was so young when he first got sick, too young to freeze a sample, so all the chemotherapy left him infertile. The damage was already done by the time he hit puberty so he pretty much always knew he would never be able to father a child biologically. He had always wanted to be a dad though, so after we got married, he was pretty eager to get started on a family. He always said to me ‘Life is precious, we have to make the most of our time here.’ He had been so close to death so many times that he didn’t wait around for life to find him, he went out and did everything, no hesitation.”

Kurt paused again to dab at the tears that were forming in his eyes. Blaine felt his own eyes start to well up, but he tried to control his emotions. Kurt was very determinedly avoiding eye contact with Blaine, and he was twisting his hands again.

  
“We did discuss adoption but he had his heart set on being present for everything, the pregnancy, the appointments, the birth. He had a close friend who was willing to be our surrogate, and we found an egg donor with his similar characteristics. We of course used my sperm and then they implanted three fertilized eggs the first time knowing that it was most likely that only one would take. Sure enough, we found out she was pregnant with Gracie and we were so excited. And when she was born, he was the best father. I was so nervous about what it would be like with a child around all the time, and I had just taken over for Isabelle at Vogue. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be a good dad for her but he always had faith in me. And we were great Dads together. It was hard, don’t get me wrong, but we figured it out as we went along. A few days after we celebrated Gracie’s first birthday he started itching to have another one. He himself had four siblings and he wanted her to have a lot too. And as I grew up an only child, I wanted that for her too. The first time we had fertilized six eggs and we still had three frozen. We implanted three again like last time and we so surprised when two stuck.”

The tears were flowing freely down Kurt’s cheeks now and Blaine was struggling to contain his own.

”We were at the appointment to find out the genders when Justin fainted. He had been feeling unwell for a few weeks but it was flu season and we just assumed it was that. But when he fainted, we both knew it wasn’t a good sign. He had missed his last few regular oncology appointments because we were so busy with the baby and then the pregnancy. The doctor confirmed what I think he already knew. Stage four, and it had spread to his brain. He was dead less than two months later.”

Blaine knew his mouth was hanging open in shock. Of all the things he expected to hear, that was not it. He remembered suddenly that he had kept a package of tissues in his suit jacket pocket and he passed them over to Kurt who took them gratefully.

”So there I was, a 26 year old widower with a two year old and twins on the way. He died before they were even born. It was awful.”

Blaine knew he was crying openly now, but he couldn’t stop himself. He reached for Kurt’s hands, and Kurt took them willingly. 

”Kurt, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

”It’s okay Blaine, honestly. His cancer was recurring, I knew that going in. When we first started dating he sat me down and explained that it was highly likely that it would return at some point. He wanted to give me a heads up and give me the chance to leave. But at that point I was in love, and I wanted to stay. And besides, we didn’t know when it would come back. I decided to take my chances. It was just the timing that was traumatic. I think he always knew that he would die young. Maybe that’s why he was in such a rush all the time.”

”I can’t believe you went through all that and I never knew,” Blaine said, wiping his eyes with a tissue.

”How could you have known Blaine? You have no social media, you don’t talk to anyone who knows me—we will be returning to that by the way—and neither of us tried to contact the other. It was a clean break.”

“How did you get through it? How did you handle two newborn babies and a toddler on your own?”

Kurt smiled a little then and said, “My dad and Carole moved in. They lived with me for almost a year before I was comfortable being on my own. Carole took a leave of absence from the hospital and my dad had someone else running the shop. They rented out their house for some extra income and then they hopped on a plane. I could’ve never done it without them. And I had my friends. Rachel, Santana, and Brittany were pretty much permanent fixtures in my apartment that year.”

”Wow,” Blaine replies, “I would’ve expected nothing less from them. So how are you now? Really?”

”I’m happy. I love my kids, I love my job. I miss Justin terribly and I have plenty of bad days. The hardest part is that the kids don’t know him. Gracie has no memories of him, but we do talk about him. I tell them that they once had another dad who went to heaven to watch over them. I’m still an atheist by the way, but I find it easier to explain death to them if they can imagine him and Finn in a tangible place. When they’re old enough they can come to whatever conclusion about the afterlife that they want.”

He paused again, blowing his nose.

”But over time the good outweighed the bad. I knew how our story was going to end years before it happened. It was awful and much sooner than I had anticipated, and it still hurts, but I’m at peace with what happened. I’m not angry anymore.”

”I’m so glad.” The two looked at each other for another moment before Kurt finally pulled his hands away, wiping at his eyes.  
  


“So what about you? Any husbands? Boyfriends? Children?” Kurt had that curious expression on his face again.

”No to all three,” Blaine laughed. “I have a cat?”

”Not quite the same” Kurt said, laughing along. “Gracie has been begging me for a cat for years, you’ll have to introduce them sometime.”

Blaine felt his heart soar at that implication. “So...what happens now?”

”Well, I don’t know about you, but I could use a best friend right now. Why don’t we start there?”

”I would love that,” Blaine said honestly. “Can I have your number?”

Kurt laughed and pulled out his wallet before sliding Blaine his card. “That’s my cell,” he said, pointing to the bottom number.

”How fancy!” Blaine replied, quickly slipping the card into his own wallet. 

”What can I say? I’m kind of a big deal,” Kurt grinned cheekily, before glancing down at his watch. “Well, I hate to say goodbye but it’s almost midnight and I have to go relieve my nanny. She’s been stuck with four kids for far too long now.”

”Wait, four?” Blaine said, voice laced with his confusion.

”Oh, only three are mine!” Kurt said quickly, as they stood up from the table. “Rachel and Jesse’s son Sawyer is at my place too.”

“Oh I see,” Blaine replied, leading the way back into the building. They quickly found Rachel and Jesse, who were still mingling with some of the cast.

”Oh there you two are!” Rachel cried out. Kurt could tell immediately that she had had one too many. “I was about to send out a search party!”

”Very funny Rach,” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes at Blaine. “You two ready to go?”

”Yes we are,” Jesse replied quickly. “Come on sweetie, let’s go get your jacket.”

”But I’m not even tired!” Rachel protested.

”You will be when you’re woken up by a screaming baby at 5am.” Jesse retorted, rolling his eyes.

Kurt watched them walk away for a moment before turning to face Blaine. 

“Well, you have my number. Ball’s in your court,” he said, winking.

Blaine hesitated for a moment before pulling Kurt into a hug. He felt Kurt relax in his arms and his heart soared. It had been twelve years since he had felt this safe in someone’s arms. 

They stuck together for a moment before Kurt pulled away, whispering a goodbye and turning to follow his friends.

***  
Later that night, Blaine lay in his bed with Kurt’s business card clutched between his fingers. He had been debating sending a text but he wasn’t sure if that would make him too needy. He had one typed up already:

B- **hey, it’s Blaine. :) It was so amazing to see you tonight. I hope we can get together soon.**  
  


He stared at the text for a moment longer before taking a deep breath and quickly hitting “send.”

Less than a minute later his phone buzzed.

K- **I had an amazing time catching up. We can definitely do it again soon, especially now that I know you’re so close by.**

Blaine felt giddy and he quickly replied:

B- **I look forward to it! Goodnight, Kurt.**

He had just locked his phone when it lit up in his hand again.

K- **Goodnight, Blaine Warbler.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note: I’m not very familiar with either surrogacy or cancer treatments which means anything I’ve written could be completely false, so I’m sorry if that’s the case! I did some research so I hope it’s accurate. On Kurt’s views on atheism and heaven: I know it seems a little out of character for him to start talking about heaven with his children, and when I decided to kill his partner off I struggled to come up with how he would talk about it with the kids. I decided that it would be an easier discussion for the kids to understand if he could talk about about Finn and Justin as if they were simply in a better place. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Saturday, April 27, 2024**

KPOV

Kurt woke up the next morning with the sun shining on his face and all three kids in his bed. He had no idea when they had come in, but they always ended up in his bed when he spent an evening out so he wasn’t surprised. He was feeling happy, but emotionally exhausted. Reliving Justin’s death had been hard and he had never had to tell the whole story before. He was honestly surprised with himself for spilling his guts to Blaine so quickly. Blaine was a man now but in that moment he was the same boy who first heard his whispers of bullies and stolen first kisses. Who, by simply texting him “courage” had also somehow supplied it. He trusted Blaine back when he barely knew him, and even now with all their history he felt relief come from sharing his story with him.

He had been so nervous when he first heard Blaine’s voice. He had forgiven him long ago but he worried that maybe some unresolved anger would rise to the surface. However, when he saw Blaine standing there he felt any traces of anger melt away. He had missed him so much and he hadn’t even realized it.

”Daddy?” Came a quiet voice from next to his pillow. “Are you awake?”

It was Alice. He opened his eyes and saw that the other two were still asleep. Alice was laying with her face Just a few inches from his and she was twisting a piece of her wild morning hair around her finger. He loved how sweet and quiet she was in the morning. 

He kissed the tip of her nose as she giggled and then said, “I’m awake.”

”Did you have fun at your fancy party?” She asked, blue eyes wide and curious.

”The most fun!” He replied. “Did you have fun with Andrea?”

“Oh yes! We watched Moana and made cookies. Will you sing the go song?”

”Yes, but later so I don’t wake up your brother and sister.” He said, before adding, “Cookies! Did you save one for your Daddy?

”Of course,” she said while rolling her eyes as if he had asked the silliest question she’d ever heard. It was honestly quite terrifying how easily she could do that. “Can we have pancakes?”

”Sure,” he said, closing his eyes. “But let’s lay here a little longer.” 

”Okay,” she said before reaching her tiny hand up to stroke the tip of her finger along his eyelashes. 

***  
An hour later, all three children were sitting at the island while they sang along to “How Far I’ll Go” from Moana. Kurt was standing at the stove flipping his last few pancakes and belting out the high notes. He often wondered what his neighbours thought of their daily noise, but no one had complained yet. He loved listening to his children sing along, and he was fairly certain that Alice had perfect pitch. 

When the last pancake was done he put one on each plastic plate that he had waiting and then sliced them into small pieces. He had added chocolate chips which was a rare treat in this house, and the kids were bouncing with excitement.

”Okay, here we go.” He said, setting a plate in front of each one. When he finished, he slid a coffee pod into his Keurig before eating a few pancakes himself. The kids were chattering to each other about something they had seen in Moana last night while Kurt was sipping his coffee when his phone buzzed. He picked it up and saw that it was a text from Blaine.

B- **Morning! I woke up this morning unsure if last night even happened but I guess I have the texts to prove it.**

Kurt felt his heart clench with happiness when he saw that it was a good morning text. Those had been a staple of Blaine’s during both their relationship and friendship, and it was so strange to get one again.

K- **I’m sorry...who’s this?**

B- **...you had me there for a second. Nice try.**

K- **haha I couldn’t help it! *shrug*  
  
**

B- **you always did love to tease. So how’s your morning so far?**

Kurt looked up at the island where the kids were each on their second pancake. He held up his phone and took a quick shot of them giggling and chattering away.

K- ***image* pretty busy over here, breakfast and entertainment. (I am the entertainment of course)**

B- **man your kids are cute. Are you sure they’re yours?**

K- **Alice’s attitude is a pretty good paternity test if you ask me. It’s like she’s a little me...although she gets a lot of her sass from her dear Aunt Rachel.**

B- **hahaha I’ll bet Rachel loves that!**

K- **oh you bet. She’s already planning her future auditions. “She’s a natural Kurt!” Yeah, naturally sassy! Doesn’t mean she can act!**

B- **hahaha wow.  
**

”Daddy, what are you doing?” Grace asked. She had just hopped down off her stool and was suddenly right next to him.

”Just sending a message to my friend,” he said, setting his phone down. “Are you done your pancakes?”

”Yes,” she said. “Who’s your friend?”

”I ran into an old friend of mine from when I was in school, so we’re catching up.”

”Oh,” Grace replied, frowning slightly. “You went to school?”

Kurt couldn't contain his laughter as he replied, “Yes Gracie, everyone goes to school when they’re kids, even daddies.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment before abruptly switching gears. “Do we have swimming?”

”You betcha,” Kurt said, walking over to help the twins down off their seats. “You have an hour before we have to leave so go play.”

As Kurt started to clean up the mess in the kitchen, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

B- **So, I’m going to break a major texting rule here and double text. I was wondering if we could hang out again soon? I’ve missed having you as a friend, Kurt.**

Kurt felt his heart flutter as he read the words. He had missed his friendship with Blaine terribly, and he liked the idea of becoming friends again. At the moment he was refusing to acknowledge the part deep inside of him that longed to be in a relationship with him again. He knew that they were essentially starting over, and they needed to build their friendship again.

K- **I would love that. Actually, we do a weekly Sunday night dinner here. You’re welcome to join if you want? Sometimes I cook but this week we’re doing a potluck with a Mexican theme.**

B- **I would love to! :) can I ask who “we” is?**

K- **Oh duh, yes of course. It’s usually Rachel and Jesse, and Santana and Brittany. And the kids of course! Brittany is away right now touring with Mercedes but Santana will be here.**

B- **Cool, sounds like fun! Just send me a list of what everyone’s bringing and I’ll find something to contribute!**

K- **Sounds good! Oh and I’m going to make cheese quesadillas for the kids, so you don’t have to worry about them!**

B- **Perfect :)**

***  
As Kurt sat on the side of the pool watching the kids in their swimming lesson, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to his group text with Santana and Rachel.

K- **Just a heads up, Blaine is coming to the potluck tomorrow night!**

R- **aww yay!**

S- **Wait WHAT?! Did I miss something?!**

Kurt had just started typing out his reply when his phone rang in his hand.

”Ah, hello Satan,” he answered.

”Um what the fuck Lady Hummel? What do you mean Blaine is coming over? Didn’t he fall off the face of the earth years ago?” Santana was talking in a hushed tone, which he assumed meant that she was at work. 

”He was at my event last night and we got to talking and he lives here in New York. He’s a teacher now San.”

”Don’t you hate his guts?! Why is he coming over?” She said, her voice laced with confusion.

”I don’t hate him. You know I forgave him a long time ago.”

”Well I still hate him on your behalf then!”

“Santana, you don’t have to do that,” Kurt was annoyed but touched. Santana was one of his closest friends and he knew she cared about him. And she didn’t care about very many people so he considered it an honour. “We were just kids back then. Yes, he hurt me. But I wasn’t a star boyfriend back then either and we both made mistakes. Do we have a lot to talk about? Yes. Am I going to continue to punish him for something he did when he was a teenager in high school? No.”

”Well I trust your judgement I guess,” she said begrudgingly. “So...how awkward was it?”

”Oh my god, it was so awkward at first. And he didn’t know anything about Justin or the kids so I had to fill him in.”

”Oh, Kurt.”

”It was weird though, it was so easy to talk to him. Like no time had passed.”

“Well you guys were always really in tune with each other, it’s not really a surprise that that didn’t go away.” She replied. “I am surprised that you are planning on him to introduce him to the little monsters. You always said you’d wait at least a year before introducing a new man into their life.”

Kurt rolled his eyes and said, “Yes, but I was talking about boyfriends. Blaine and I are just trying to be friends again. And I want him to meet my kids.”

”I mean being friends is cool but it’s been years since you got laid, why not give him a ride?” Kurt could practically hear her smirk through the phone.

”Oh my god, you’re impossible. One minute you hate his guts and the next you want me to sleep with him?” Kurt glanced around at the other parents sitting around him as he said this, but no one seemed to be paying him any attention.

“Hate sex is the best sex Lady Hummel! Well I have to go but I will be coming over early tomorrow to get the full story of what happened last night.”

”Sounds good, see you tomorrow!” Kurt said, hanging up his phone just as the kids were climbing out of the pool.

***

After swimming, Kurt took the kids to the zoo and then they had a pizza night that evening. He and Blaine had been texting on and off all day, and Kurt still felt butterflies in his stomach with each message. They talked about silly things: the monkeys at the zoo, the weird reality show Blaine was watching, the funny things the kids were saying.

He pretended that he was fine on the phone to Santana but the truth was he was a bit nervous to see Blaine again. Texting was easy. What if it was awkward when they saw each other again?

He was also nervous for the kids to meet him. He wanted Blaine to like them and vice versa. They didn’t meet new friends of Kurt’s all that often, as all of his current friends he’d had for years, long before they were born. He was still hopeful though. He felt just like he did after meeting Blaine for the first time at Dalton. Little texts here and there, and those early hangouts were eerily reminiscent of what was happening now. 

All these thoughts were swarming in his head as he tucked the kids in that night after their bedtime story. 

“What are we doing tomorrow, Daddy?” Jack asked as he wrapped his arms around Kurt’s neck.

”Well, we’re going to have a lazy day and then Aunt Rachel, Uncle Jesse, Sawyer, and Aunt Santana are coming over for dinner. And, Daddy’s friend Blaine is coming over to meet you.”

”Who is Blaine?” Came Alice’s voice from her bed across the room.

”He’s a friend that I met when I was in school.”

”Oh,” said Alice. “And he wants to meet us?” 

”Yes he does. He heard how fun you are! How exciting is that?”

Jack’s voice was quiet when he replied, “does he like dinosaurs? Do you think he’d play with me?”

Jack was always so timid when it came to new people so it was sweet that he was wanted to play dinosaurs with Blaine. “I think he might! You’ll have to ask him.”

Jack nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll show him my triceratops!” 

”That’s a good one,” Alice agreed. 

”Okay, we can finish this planning tomorrow! Sleep time now.”

He stood up from Jack’s bed and walked over to hug Alice too before turning off the light and going in to Grace’s room.

”Goodnight Gracie girl,” he said, giving her a hug.

”Thanks for a fun day,” she said, snuggling into her blankets.

”You’re very welcome,” he replied. “It was fun wasn’t it?”

She nodded, yawning. “Goodnight Daddy.”

”Goodnight,” Kurt said, closing over the door behind him.

When he got back to the living room, he plopped down on the couch with a glass of wine with “Friends” playing in the background on Netflix. He hesitated for a moment before pulling out his phone and texting Blaine. 

K- **Jack is planning on introducing you to his entire dinosaur collection tomorrow, so be prepared for that.**

B- **I mean, dinosaurs are the coolest, so there’s not much to prepare for! :P**

K- **That just reminded me- remember Brittany’s Dino Prom? Where she banned hair gel??**

B- **How could I forget? I loved being called Mr. Broccoli head LOL**

K- **I like** **how you’re doing your hair now! How did you learn to tame it?**

B- **I went to a hairstylist in Chicago who showed me exactly what to do to get curls that weren’t frizzy. It took me awhile to master it, but I’m happy with how it looks now.**

K- **Yes, I also consulted a hair dresser friend of mine when Alice came out with all those curls. They know what’s up.**

K- **And yes, you should like it, it looks great. Although I loved the bushy-ness of before too.**

Kurt was shamelessly flirting, and he knew it. He just couldn’t help it.

B- **Well, wait until you see it in the morning then. Still like broccoli.**

Kurt’s heart lept at the implication of mornings with Blaine. Before he could second guess himself, he replied.

K- **I look forward to it :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: some discussion of Depression and a little bit of suicidal ideation in this chapter and it will also be discussed on and off throughout this story. It won’t be discussed in detail.

**Sunday, April 28, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine woke up on Sunday morning with his stomach jumping with anxiety. He was looking forward to seeing Kurt and meeting the kids but he was also nervous. He had cut himself off from everyone from his high school days after graduation (until Friday night of course) and he hoped it wouldn’t be awkward.

He couldn’t believe how bold he’d been in his texts to Kurt last night. He didn’t want to assume that Kurt would ever see him in the morning again, but the words were typed out before he even thought twice about it. He was just about to awkwardly apologize when Kurt replied and he said he looked forward to it. Not the response that he was expecting, but he wasn’t mad about it. 

He got out of bed and hopped into the shower. He was heading over to Kurt’s at 4 and it was 10 now so he wanted to get some of the essays he brought home to mark done before going grocery shopping. He spent yesterday cleaning his apartment and texting Kurt so he didn’t get as much marking done as he had hoped for.

For the potluck tonight he had decided to bring vegan Mexican crullers because no one else was bringing desert and he loved to bake. He also had to admit that he was trying to win over the kids a little bit too and who didn’t love little churros?

After getting through a decent amount of essays, he headed out to his local grocery store. He still needed to get the ingredients for his dessert and groceries for the week. He stopped on his way to get a venti cold brew at Starbucks and sipped it as he went about his errands. Grocery shopping took much longer than usual because he was distracted by all the thoughts swirling in his head. But despite his nerves, he was so excited to see Kurt again. They had been texting all weekend, and he was thrilled with how quickly they fell back into their old habits. 

When he got home, he quickly went about his usual meal planning for his lunches before getting started on the dessert. He was singing along to the radio and dancing around his kitchen while his fluffy white cat, Maggie, watched him from her perch on his window sill. 

“Are you judging me?” Blaine asked her as she gave him a reproachful look. 

She just meowed in response.

***

All too soon Blaine found himself standing outside of apartment 1242. He had been standing there for a almost a full minute, crullers in his hands, trying to build up the courage to knock. He had been surprised at how close Kurt’s apartment was to his own. How had they never crossed paths before?

He hesitated for only a minute more before quickly knocking and stepping back.

”I’LL GET IT!” He heard a small voice shriek from inside the apartment. He heard scampering feet before the voice said through the door, “Who is there?”

”Oh uh, it’s Blaine,” Blaine replied, startled by the child’s voice.

”Oh yeah, Daddy said there’d be a Blaine...IT’S BLAINE!” she shrieked.

A moment later the door opened and a little girl with curly blonde hair opened the door. 

”Daddy said I could open it,” she said, looking him up and down. “Your hair is in circles like mine!”

Blaine reached a hand up to touch his hair before saying, “You’re right, it is!”

”Goodness Alice, let him through the door!” Blaine heard Kurt call before the man himself appeared, wearing a wide grin. He pulled the door wide and stepped aside to let Blaine in. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

”Me too,” Blaine smiled back before tentatively stepping into the apartment. The little girl was already high-tailing it back into the apartment and in seconds she was gone around the corner. “Uh, I brought Mexican Crullers!” Brains said, holding them up. “They’re vegan so Rachel can have some.”

”That’s so nice that you remembered!” Kurt said, taking the offered dish from him. He studied Blaine’s face for a moment before tentatively placing a hand on his arm. “I can tell you’re nervous, but you don’t have to be. Everyone’s excited to see you.”

”Thanks, I’m excited to see them too.” He replied, feeling his heart swoop when Kurt’s hand made contact.

”Well come on in then and say hi to everyone!” Kurt said, gesturing for Blaine to follow him. When they reached the end of the hall they found themselves in a spacious kitchen. It was all white with dark wooden floors and black hardware. They could see through into the living room which was decorated in shades of blue and burgundy with gold and black accents. It was all very stylish and very Kurt. In the living room, Santana, Rachel, and Jesse were standing up to greet him. 

“Blaine Warbler, we meet again!” Rachel said hugging him before he reached over and shook hands with Jesse.

”Nice to see you again, man!” Jesse said, smiling at him. He was holding a baby in his arms, who had to be no more than a year old.

”So great to see you both! And who’s this?” He said, tickling the baby’s toes. Blaine loved babies.

”This is Sawyer,” Jesse replied, while Sawyer giggled.

”What a handsome little man!” Blaine said, smiling at him.

Finally, he reached Santana who looked him up and down before saying, “You’ve gotten pretty hot Dapper Dan!”

”I’m not sure if I should be offended or flattered. So...thank you?” He replied, awkwardly fiddling with his bow tie. “You look great yourself!” It was true, she had always been beautiful and not much had changed in the years since he had seen her. She smiled at his compliment and gave him an approving nod.

”Kids, come out and meet Daddy’s friend!” Kurt called down a hallway before the sound of a stampede of tiny feet filled the room.

Blaine had already seen Alice at the door of course, but there was something about seeing them all together that caused his heart to ache. They had whispered in the dark about this. About marriage and babies and forever. This should’ve been his life but he ruined it. The thought made his head spin. He shook it slightly when he realized that Kurt was talking.

”This is Gracie, this one is Jack, and of course you met Alice at the door.” Blaine chuckled when Alice nodded knowingly, as if they were old friends.

The oldest girl stepped forward and extended her little hand to him. “Nice to meet you Blaine. That is a great bow tie!” 

Blaine laughed out loud at the formality and grasped her tiny hand in his. “Thank you! I like you shirt,” he said, gesturing to the glittery rainbow on the front while raising an eyebrow at Kurt.

He held up his hands in surrender while saying, “She picked it out!”

Jack peered around his sister’s back and looked up at him. Kurt was biting his lip and he looked worried for some reason. Blaine kneeled down to be on his level.

”Hi Jack, it’s nice to meet you.”

Jack didn’t reply but he pulled a small toy dinosaur from his pocket and held it out to him.

”Wow, is this a triceratops?” Blaine asked, twisting his face into a look of awe. “That’s so cool!”

Jack smiled and said quietly, “You can play with him tonight if you want.”

”I would love to. Triceratops is my favourite!” Blaine said, smiling at him while taking the little dinosaur.

”Mine too,” he said before turning away and going over to Kurt and holding his arms up. Kurt lifted him, and Jack held his hands up to his mouth and whispered something into Kurt’s ear while he nodded, smiling.

Blaine didn’t want to look like he was eavesdropping so went to stand up before he was interrupted by Alice.

”Can I touch your hair?” She asked, frowning at him where he was still crouching at eye level.

”Oh uh, sure,” Blaine replied, letting her touch his curls softly.

”It does feel like mine,” she said, before losing interest and turning to Grace.

”Let’s go play fairies,” she said and Grace agreed so they started to run off before Grace turned to her brother.

”Jack come on, you can be a dinosaur!”

Once the three children were gone, the adults went and sat down in the living room. Kurt had a set-up of meat, cheese and crackers on a wooden board on the coffee table. 

”Do you want a glass of wine, Blaine?” Kurt asked. “I have both white and red.”

”White would be nice, thank you.” Blaine replied, and he couldn’t help but watch Kurt retreat to the kitchen.

”So, Blaine,” he heard Santana start to say so he quickly shifted his focus to her. “What are you up to these days?”  
  


”I’m a high school English teacher and I also coach the Glee club,” he replied. “And I live only about 10 minutes from here with my cat.”

”Ah so no husband? Boyfriend? Babies?” She said, giving him a look he couldn’t quite decipher.

”Santana! Don’t pry,” Rachel said as she bounced Sawyer in her lap.

”No, it’s okay, really. I’m single currently. What’s happening in your lives? I know Rachel and Jesse are broadway royalty and that they have an adorable baby. What about you Santana?” He asked, accepting his wine from Kurt with a smile and a quiet “thank you.”

”Well Brittany and I just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary, if you can believe it. We own a dance and music studio here and business has really been booming lately,” she said, smiling with pride. ”She’s touring with Mercedes right now and I miss her like crazy but she’s off being a star. I don’t mind holding down the fort.”

”That’s so awesome Santana, I’m so happy for you!” He said, genuinely.

”Thanks, we’re really happy. I think we might start trying for kids soon now that everything has settled at the studio. We wanted to wait until we had built a solid clientele.”

”That reminds me,” Kurt said, reaching for a cracker. “What day is the recital? I had it written down but I seem have misplaced it.”

”It’s on June 1st, so just over a month away! And tickets go on sale in a couple of weeks.”

”Great, you’ll have to remind me to get some. I think my Dad and Carole are going to come out.” Kurt said, making a note of the date in his phone.

”Aww that’s so nice,” Rachel said. “It’s a long way to come for a dance recital.”

”Well this is the first year that all 3 will be in the show! It’s exciting, and you know how Carole is, she loves the sentimental stuff.” 

“Make sure you get a couple tickets for us too!” Rachel said, handing Sawyer over to Kurt who had started reaching for him.

”Of course, the kids would be so sad if you couldn’t make it. Alice might refuse to go on!” Kurt was now bouncing Sawyer on his knee and making faces at him. 

It was so strange to sit here with these people and listen to them talk about their adult lives when the last time they’d been together they were just teenagers. Babies, businesses, kid’s classes. He still felt a bit awkward, almost as if he was intruding, but Kurt kept shooting him reassuring smiles. Blaine liked this look on him: the one of a grown up dad with his shit together. He suited it.

The conversation then shifted into some of the movies people had seen recently and Blaine finally felt himself start to relax. Everyone had been friendly all evening so far and he was genuinely enjoying himself.

About an hour later they all sat down to eat. Kurt had put the leaf in his dark wood table to make room for everyone and he had procured some folding chairs from a storage closet. Blaine was very pleased when Kurt gestured for him to take the seat next to him.

Blaine carefully placed the triceratops next to his plate, ripping a tiny piece of lettuce from his salad and placing it on the table in front of it. Jack saw him doing this and started giggling before place the two dinosaurs in his hands on the table and doing the same thing. 

The others around the table were chatting and passing dishes of food around so no one was really paying attention to him but he felt Kurt watching him. He looked up and they made eye contact, Kurt smiling at him.

Dinner went off without a hitch. It was cute hearing the kids talk away about anything and everything. He heard about other kids at school, characters on tv shows, books they liked to read, and anything else that’s important when you’re little. 

Blaine’s dessert was a hit and he was so happy that everyone enjoyed it. Alice claimed that it was the “bestest” thing she had ever had, to which Kurt acted very offended and earned himself some giggles in response.

”Blaine?” Grace asked, as they were cleaning up the dishes. “Can I ask you a question?”

”Sure,” he said, exchanging a glance with Kurt.

”How do you know my Daddy?”

”Oh uh,” Blaine paused for a moment before Kurt swept in.

”Remember Gracie, I told you that Blaine was my friend from school?” He said, as the other adults in the room quieted down to hear the answer.

”Were you Daddy’s BOYfriend? My Daddy likes boys you know.”

Blaine looked again at Kurt, unsure of how he should answer. Kurt was biting his lip, clearly debating his response. For a moment he was quiet before saying, “Yes, Blaine was my boyfriend. That was a very long time ago though, we’re just friends now.”

Grace nodded thoughtfully before walking out of the kitchen. Kurt was looking over at Rachel, who just shrugged.

”She’s too smart for her own good!” She said, walking over to sit back down on the couch.

”I’m so sorry if that made you uncomfortable Blaine,” Kurt said, an unsure look on his face.

”Hey, no, I’m not uncomfortable!” Blaine replied, resting his hand on Kurt’s arm for a moment. “I mean it’s the truth, no big deal. Your kid has a great gaydar!”

They laughed together as they finished loading the dishwasher.

***

The evening ended around 7:30pm which Rachel proclaiming “We’re old people now!” while strapping Sawyer into his seat.

”Speak for yourself! Santana said before adding, “I’m meeting my other friends at the bar so you parents can get your beauty sleep!”

As everyone was gathering their things in the front hall, Kurt grabbed Blaine’s arm and said, “Would be up for sticking around for a bit?”  
  


Blaine didn’t miss the looks that Santana and Rachel exchanged at those words, but nevertheless he replied “Yes, of course.”

Once everyone had said their goodbyes, Blaine followed Kurt back into the living room where he was instructed to wait while the kids were put to bed. Twenty minutes of scrolling through his phone later and Kurt re-emerged.

”Thank god they went down easy tonight,” he said as he picked up Blaine’s empty wine glass. “Some nights it’s painful to get them to sleep! So, one more glass? It’s okay if not though, I know it’s a school night.” He smirked a little at that one.

”One more glass can’t hurt!” Blaine replied, setting his phone down on the coffee table and watching Kurt head back into the kitchen and pull the wine from the fridge. He loved seeing him move about and be comfortable in his own space. And he couldn’t get over how handsome he still was.

”Here you go! He said, passing the wine to Blaine. He hesitated for a moment before choosing to sit on the end of the same couch that Blaine was already on.

“Thank you! This wine is fantastic,” Blaine said as he sipped it.

”Yes, it’s my favourite!” Kurt said, also taking a sip from his glass as he tucked his legs up under him. He studied Blaine for a moment before saying “This is so weird!”

”What part?” Blaine laughed, “hanging out with your ex boyfriend? Or drinking wine?”

”Well both,” Kurt laughed along, “but I was just thinking that this is the first time we’ve ever had a drink together.”

”No way!” 

”Yes way! You drank a few times but I always stayed sober. It’s not like we were big drinkers or partiers!”

”Wow, I guess you’re right! How weird and grown up of us. Cheers to that,” Blaine replied, holding up his glass as Kurt tapped them together. They both drank in silence for a moment before Blaine spoke again.

”Your kids are amazing Kurt. You’ve done a great job on your own.”

Kurt smiled softly before saying, “thank you so much. Jack really warmed up to you. He’s so painfully shy.”

”He’s so sweet,” Blaine replied. “Does he have trouble with new people?”

Kurt has that look of worry on his face again. “Yes, he struggles to be around new people. It was a challenge getting him used to his new preschool. It’s April, and he only just stopped crying at drop off. And he hasn’t made any friends, he just trails after Alice because he is too shy to start a conversation. He even struggles with adults, which I thought would be easier because he’s around adults all the time. But no, he clams up anytime he’s around anyone but us.”

”I’m sure it’ll get easier over time,” Blaine said. “That’s why school is so good, it helps them learn socialization.” 

”But what do you do if they won’t socialize?” Kurt seemed genuinely distressed, so Blaine took his hand.

”He will! He’ll find his people, just like you did. Maybe it’ll be in an extracurricular, or an after school program, but he’ll find his way. You saw the way he came up to me tonight. He was shy, but he communicated the best he could.” 

“I know you’re right, but I can’t help but worry! I want him to have friends, it’s so lonely growing up without them.” Kurt had an undeniable sadness in his expression and Blaine wanted to hug him so badly but he refrained because he wasn’t really sure where the line was.

”He’ll be okay, I’m sure of it. If anything, Alice’s friends will hopefully become his friends. But I’m sure he’ll find his own.”

”I hope so,” Kurt said turning his head in the direction of the children’s rooms thoughtfully. He stared off into space for a moment before turning back to Blaine. “I was nervous for tonight.”

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief before saying, “So was I. I was nervous to meet the kids and see everyone again.” 

“I don’t know why, you’ve always been so good at socializing!”

”I guess, but I find it hard to be around people from my high school days. I almost never see the Warblers anymore.”

Kurt frowned. “I’ve actually been meaning to ask you about that. Why did you fall off the map?”

Blaine bit his lip and considered his next words carefully. He didn’t know if he was ready to spill his guts to Kurt, but Kurt was looking at him with such an open and understanding expression, and Blaine felt that same safety that he always had.

”After I did what I did to you, everything changed. I had always carried a lot of self-doubt, but seeing how badly I’d fucked up caused me to spiral a bit. I was angry with myself, and it triggered something dark inside of me. I finished out the year at McKinley and no sooner had I walked across the stage at graduation, I found myself unable to do much more. I didn’t go to university in the fall, and I locked myself away in my bedroom for almost a year. My plans to pursue music had disintegrated when I lost you, and every negative feeling I’d ever had about myself took over.” Blaine felt his eyes start to well, and he willed himself to not cry.

“I had grappled with my mental health for as long as I could remember, and that’s something that I always hid from you. I was very good at wearing that preppy, happy mask but inside I had always felt worthless. And sad. And I suppose cheating on you made me feel like all the negative thoughts I’d ever had about myself were true. You were the greatest thing that had ever happened to me, and I threw it away.

”The darkness settled over me and I couldn't even get out of bed most days. I cut myself off from everyone I knew, people from McKinley and from Dalton. I didn’t talk to anyone but my family for almost a year. My parents were really worried, and they tried dragging me to therapists but for awhile I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them. It wasn’t even just about you anymore, all my dark thoughts about who I was and who I should’ve been had taken over. It was only when I started considering...ending things...that I realized I needed help.”

Blaine looked up then and saw Kurt crying freely at his distress.

”Please don’t cry,” he said, feeling his own tears now, damp on his flushed cheeks. Kurt didn’t stop crying, but he reached his hands out for Blaine’s. 

“I let the therapists diagnose me and put me on medication,” Blaine continued, comforted by Kurt’s thumb stroking over the skin on the back of his hand. “I went to therapy sessions, and I finally talked about everything that had weighed me down my whole life. Feeling like a disappointment to my father for being gay, feeling like an outcast from everyone else for being gay and being an easy target for bullies. Feeling like a failure for wanting to be in music when my father wanted me take over for him in his business. Feeling like I was never good enough to live up to Cooper and what he was in my parents’ eyes. And feeling worthless, like I didn’t deserve the love of anyone, and that I proved it when I lost you.”

Kurt’s shock at his admission was evident on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something but instead he gestured for Blaine to continue.

”I had delayed my admission to the University of Chicago by a year, and by the time the year had passed I was in a much better head space. I enrolled, and I got ready to go, making sure I was actively taking my medication and doing what I needed to do. My therapist recommended someone in Chicago for me, and I started tentatively reaching out to people again. I really only contacted the people I had cut off from Dalton because you were a sensitive subject for me and I didn’t want anything to trigger memories of you. I have been actively taking medication and going to therapy ever since, though I still have the occasional bad days. But I do feel like I’ve found happiness. I found the career I love and met some amazing people. My parents are not nearly as hard on me anymore which is also a relief.”

At that, he looked up and made eye contact with Kurt. Both men were still crying, and Kurt scooted himself along the couch and threw his arms around him. 

”Blaine, I’m so sorry you felt like that and I had no idea. I’m just so sorry.”

”It’s not your fault, Kurt. I hid it from you when we were together and we were broken up when it got really bad.” Blaine shrugged, still with Kurt’s arms wrapped up around him.

”I need you to understand that what happened to our relationship is not your fault,” Kurt said, pulling back and making eye contact with Blaine again. “I was a horrible boyfriend to you when we were apart, and I didn’t give our relationship the attention it needed. Did you make a mistake by sleeping with someone else? Yes. But I also made mistakes. I think it’s important that we put that situation behind us. We were teenagers, just kids who didn’t have the capacity to sustain a long distance relationship. I need you to stop blaming yourself for it.”

Blaine felt his throat tighten at those words. “Do you really mean that? You aren’t angry with me?”

”I’m not going to lie and say that I wasn’t angry or hurt.” Kurt said. “But am I still angry? No. I forgave you soon after it happened. Rachel and I spent many hours talking about both sides of what happened. A relationship takes two people and I wasn’t being a very supportive boyfriend. And I’m sorry. I got so wrapped up in New York that I didn’t recognize what was happening.”

”It’s okay.” Blaine said, now taking his turn to hug Kurt.

“Okay,” Kurt said as he leaned back from the hug, wiping his eyes. “Let’s agree to leave that in the past. I really want to be your friend again, and I don’t want you to feel like I have some sort of anger for you simmering under the surface. We can talk about it more if you want to but no more taking the sole blame for the ending of our relationship. Got it?”

Blaine nodded and said, “Got it.” Blaine’s heart felt lighter than it had in years. He talked with his therapist a lot over the years about the demise of his relationship with his first love and how he couldn’t take sole blame, but of course inside he did. Hearing Kurt forgive him for it after all these years was a huge weight lifted off his chest.

”And don’t be afraid to talk to me more about your Depression and what you’re feeling. We’re not kids anymore, I can handle it. You don’t have to suppress anything.”

”I will,” Blaine said, wiping at his eyes before checking his watch. “Damn, I better head home, I have to get ready for work tomorrow.”

”Yes, the kids will have me up bright and early tomorrow, I should get some sleep,” Kurt agreed, collecting both of their wine glasses before standing up from the couch. 

Kurt walked Blaine to the front door and passed him his cruller dish before wrapping him in a hug again. 

”Thank you for sharing with me,” he said, voice muffled by Blaine’s shoulder. 

”I’m glad I did,” Blaine replied. “And thank you for having me tonight.”

”Well like I said, this is a weekly thing, consider yourself invited for the foreseeable future.”

Blaine was overjoyed at those words, and couldn’t help the smile that filled his face.

”Goodnight, Kurt.” He said as he walked out the door. “I’ll text you?” He added, hopefully.

”You better,” Kurt replied before softly closing the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Monday, April 29, 2024**   
  


KPOV

The next day after the first potluck with Blaine was Kurt’s day off. He was able to arrange his schedule so that he worked from home in the mornings on Monday’s when the twins went to preschool, and then had the afternoon off to take all three to their dance classes.

Kurt moved through his day in a bit of a fog after his talk with Blaine the night before. There was so much about his life that he was unaware of. He had no idea that Blaine struggled with his mental health when they were together, though he didn’t feel that surprised in retrospect. He knew that Blaine harboured a lot of resentment towards his parents for how they treated him after they found out that he was gay. They were never outright disapproving, but Kurt knew that they would make subtle suggestions that Blaine take out the daughters of family friends, even if Blaine made it clear that he wasn’t interested.

Kurt was devastated to hear about his suffering after their breakup. He thought it was odd that Blaine had cut ties with New Directions after the fact, but he thought that he was trying to distance himself from Kurt and anyone who knew him. He didn’t realize that Blaine had completely severed ties with anyone he’d ever known, and the thought made his heart ache. 

He was consumed by his thoughts on the subject for all of Monday morning, and by the time it was time to pick up Grace and take all three to dance class, he had accomplished almost none of the work he had brought home to do.

”Daddy?” Grace asked as they walked together to the studio. Kurt had Alice and Jack walking with linked hands on his one side, and Grace holding his hand on the other. They made quite the spectacle on New York streets the four of them did.

”Yes, Gracie?” He asked, leading the group around the teenagers who were leaning up the against a nearby wall. They were just walking past Cedar Hill High, and Kurt couldn’t help himself from looking through the crowd of faces to see if he could spot Blaine. It was so strange to him that they walked past this school every day, and that they had never crossed paths before. To his disappointment, he didn’t spot him. He quickly gave his attention to Grace who had started asking her question.

”Are we going to dance on the stage today?” Grace asked, straining to look up to see his answer.

”No sweetie, the show isn’t for a few more weeks. We’re just going to practice at the studio today.”

”I love the stage,” Alice declared from his other side, swinging her arm back and forth where it was linked with Jack’s.

Grace crumpled her nose before replying, “But you’ve never been on the stage, Alice. I have.” She said proudly.

”Doesn’t mean I can’t love it,” Alice responded, glaring over at Grace. “I’ll be the bestest in the class, probably.”

“That’s not very nice, Jack is in your class!” Grace said, glancing over at Jack.

Jack was quite sensitive, so Kurt quickly looked down, wondering if it was time to intervene. Jack was looking thoughtful, but he didn’t seem overly upset.

”I’m okay but Alice is better,” he agreed, after thinking for a moment. “The stage is scary. Everyone is watching you.”

”Yeah,” Alice sighed, her expression dreamy. Kurt knew that she would love the attention and applause, and apparently she knew it too.

”It’s not scary,” Kurt quickly reassured him. “The lights are so bright you can’t see anyone watching you! And it’s so fun to perform what you’ve practiced.”

”But what if I hate it?” He asked, looking up at Kurt with a worried expression on his face.

”Then you never have to dance on the stage again, I promise.” Kurt said. He never wanted to force his children to do something they didn’t want to do, but he believed it was important they tried things before making up their minds. And he knew that Jack did like his dance classes.

”Okay,” Jack agreed, squeezing Kurt’s hand in his own.

They soon arrived outside the studio (named Pierce Academy of Dance- after Brittany of course), and Kurt lead them inside. They found Santana standing at the front desk, bending over and pointing at something on the computer in front of one of her office workers. She looked up as they entered and smiled at them. 

”Hey kiddos,” she said, “Go in and get ready! Kurt, coffee in 5?”

”Yes, absolutely!” Kurt said, shuffling the kids in the direction of the changing rooms. He quickly changed Grace out of her school clothes and helped all three into their ballet shoes. He was just finishing up Grace’s bun when the teachers came out to collect the students. He was so grateful that their class times happened to overlap times this year. Grace was in the 5-7 age group while the twins were in the 4 and under (also known as “baby ballet” though Kurt thought that name was a little silly). 

He shuffled the kids into their respective lineups and watched them go in, his eyes never leaving Jack who was clinging to Alice as usual. The class was small, only 6 kids, and the size definitely made drop offs easier, but he was still shy.

Once they were out of sight, he returned to the reception area and found Santana waiting for him. They always went for coffee during class time, and Kurt looked forward to it every week. 

”So Lady Hummel,” she began, threading her arm through his as they walked across the street to their favourite coffee shop. “Let’s talk about the bow-tied elephant in the room.”

“There are other topics you know, Satan,” he replied, shooting her a glare before adding, “How’s long distance going? You must miss Britt.”

”Yes, so much! And I’m pretty sure I’m getting carpal tunnel in my hand,” she said, shaking out said hand and waggling her eyebrows at him.

”Oh ew,” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes. “THAT is definitely not what I meant. I was thinking more about your emotions, not your sex drive.”

”Well, it’s all connected in my opinion,” she huffed back, throwing her long hair over her shoulder as they got in line at the coffee shop. “I am EMOTIONALLY attached to hot sex with my hot wife, and I miss it when she’s gone.”

”I suppose, but I sure as hell don’t want to hear about it!” Kurt replied, pulling out his wallet as they reached the counter. “One green tea lemonade and an iced coffee with vanilla please.”

Santana had wandered away and found them a corner table, and she immediately resumed their earlier conversation when Kurt arrived with their drinks, much to Kurt’s embarrassment.

”Like you can judge,” she said, stirring her iced coffee. “Everyone knows that you’ve become a one-handed wonder in the last few years.”

Kurt felt his cheeks heat up at her comment but he kept his bitch face in check. “How would you possibly know that Santana? For all you know I could be completely frigid.”

”Because you’re a man and all men are obsessed with their penises. And I know you’re no different, even if you pretend to be,” She said, raising her eyebrow at him.

”While I’m touched that you acknowledge that I’m in fact a ‘man’,” he said, raising his hands in air quotes. “It doesn’t mean that I jerk off all the time like a heathen.”

Santana didn’t respond, but continued to look at him with a knowing expression.

”Okay fine!” He gave in, rolling his eyes as his cheeks heated up. “Of course I do, but that doesn’t mean we have to have a conversation about it! Anyways, besides the sore hand, how is it without Brittany?”

She laughed triumphantly as she sipped from her drink before replying, “It’s definitely hard but we’re getting by. I don’t know how I’d do it without FaceTime! Thank god for modern technology.”

”Yeah, it’s definitely easier to actually see the person face to face. I don’t know how people did it before.” He responded, determinedly not thinking about his own failed attempt at long distance.

”So true,” she agreed. “Enough stalling. Blaine.”

Kurt feigned ignorance. “What about him?”

“Umm how about the fact that you INVITED HIM TO STAY LATER?! Why don’t we start there?”

”It’s not what it looks like Santana. I told you, we’re just friends and we did some more catching up.”

“Well that might be true, but I caught him checking you out more than once last night,” she smirked. “And don’t think I didn’t notice the eyes you were making at him.”

”Look, we just found each other again. I don’t think we should jump into anything so soon. Hell, this time last week he wasn’t even on my radar.”

”I don’t see what the big deal is,” she replied, combing her fingers through her hair. “You were in love once before, it’s not like you just met.”

”But it is like that. We’re different people now, adults. We were just kids when we broke up. Who we were then doesn’t necessarily match up with who we are now. We’ve both lived a lot of life since then.” Kurt insisted.

”That’s true,” she replied thoughtfully. “But fundamentally you’re still the same people. I could tell as much last night. He hasn’t changed much, Kurt. Except his looks. He’s definitely hotter now.”

“Right?” Kurt replied without thinking, rolling his eyes at Santana’s smirk. “I mean it was bound to happen once he quit hair gel. The tousled curl look is much sexier.”

”Anyway,” Santana continued, stirring her straw through the ice at the bottom of her cup as her tone softened. “You haven’t dated anyone since Justin died. Don’t you think it’s time?”

Kurt chewed on the bottom of his lip before replying, “I think soon. It wasn’t exactly my priority before but the kids are older now, I think I could balance a relationship too. It just makes me nervous. It’s been so long.”

”Maybe that’s all the more reason to jump in with Blaine. You always had amazing chemistry, and your relationship was pretty good before you moved to New York,” she answered, shrugging. “Maybe he’s exactly what you need.”

***

Later that night as Kurt prepared dinner, he considered what pursuing a relationship with Blaine again would mean.

Right before Justin died, they had a long conversation about Kurt moving on with his life. Kurt didn’t ever want to imagine being with someone else but Justin insisted that he had his blessing and that he wanted Kurt to be happy and not alone. Kurt agreed and promised that he would find someone else, but he privately decided that it was unlikely that he would follow through with it.

Kurt had always been careful with his heart. In between his break up with Blaine and finding Justin, his relationships were few and far between. He found it hard to trust, and he didn’t know if he would feel comfortable letting someone in again. He had already been in love twice, and he didn’t know if a third time was in the cards for him. It’s not that he didn’t think that it would be a bad thing (he had seen both Burt and Carole find each other after their spouses had died) but he felt wary to open his heart up to that again.

And frankly, he didn’t even know if that was something that Blaine was interested in. Maybe all he wanted to be was friends, and if that was it, Kurt would take it. And besides, he had three beautiful children, it wasn’t like he was alone.

After dinner was served and the kids were in bed, Kurt settled on his couch. Monday night bedtimes were always easy as the kids were usually tired from dance and school. Tonight was no exception and Kurt was relieved as his mind had been otherwise occupied for most of the day. 

As he was sitting down, his phone lit up with a text from Blaine.

B- **hey! Here’s a riddle for you:** **Why did Snap, Crackle and Pop get scared?**

K- **hmm because sugary cereals can lead to childhood obesity and a lifetime of health issues?**

B- **oof...come on! Play along!**

K- **Alright, I’ll bite. Why did Snap, Crackle and Pop get scared?**

B- **They heard there was a cereal killer on the loose!**

K- **LOL that is extremely corny, but I’ll admit it’s clever.**

B- **Riddle curtesy of Jay Miller, 3rd period freshmen English.**

K- **well props to Jay Miller then. How was the rest of your day?**

B- **Realllllly long Glee rehearsal to prepare for nationals next week but the kids are sounding good and I’m feeling confident!**

K- **That’s awesome! Where are nationals this year?**

B- **We lucked out this year! They’re here in New York.**

K- **Oh, awesome! Nice to be local.**

B- **definitely! So how was your day?**

K- **not bad. Monday is my day off and I took the kids to their dance classes this afternoon. And then while they were in class I got coffee with Santana where she loudly discussed masturbation for the whole coffee shop to hear *eye roll***

B- **I would say I’m surprised but that’s pretty on brand for her. I am surprised however that you just said that word without blushing! I don’t think you’ve ever said that to me before.**

Kurt felt the flush on his cheeks, and laughed to himself before replying.

K- **Considering you can’t see me through the phone, you’ll never know if that’s true. And no, of course you didn’t, it’s not a topic that usually comes up in a civilized conversation!**

B- **hmm I seem to remember that we had many uncivilized conversations, though I suppose I was usually the more active participant.**

Kurt knew his face was on fire at this point, but he was loving the flirty conversation.

K- **To be fair, I was pretty shy back then. I’m an adult now who can say “masturbation” without freaking out (just don’t ask me to say it in person)**

B- **Ahh how things change.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re enjoying so far!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my intention was to keep up with this story more regularly, but I, like so many others, was completely caught off guard by the entire situation with Naya Rivera. I couldn’t focus when she was missing and I was holding on to the hope that maybe she would be found alive. I was so proud of this fandom this past week as I watched everyone fight for her. I know some people might have got a little carried away in their panic, but even so it was inspiring to see how the internet came together to pray for her safe return.
> 
> I am so sad that she passed away, but it brings me comfort to know that her last act on this earth was saving her little boy. I hope her family and friends are also comforted by this. And I don’t think it was a coincidence that she was found on the anniversary of Cory’s passing. He brought her back to her family. I hope you’re resting easy Naya.
> 
> Now, after the world’s longest author’s note, let’s continue! Thank you for all the kind words, kudos, and bookmarks I have received so far. You are all fantastic. :)

**Monday, April 28, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine lay awake for hours after he sent his goodnight text to Kurt. He couldn’t seem to turn his brain off, and Kurt’s words were echoing in his head.

**“I’m an adult now who can say ‘masturbation’ without freaking out.”**

One thing that burned in his memory about his relationship with Kurt was how uncomfortable he always was with sex and sex-related topics. Blaine loved to drop words like “masturbation” for shock-factor, enjoying the pretty blush that would stain Kurt’s cheeks when he heard it, and loving how Kurt would always laugh him off and change the subject. It wasn’t that Blaine wanted to force Kurt to talk about something that made him uncomfortable, but he wanted to try and desensitize him so that it would be an easier transition when they started actually having sex themselves.

Kurt was always intentionally vague about what he did on his own, and Blaine never pushed, believing that he had a right to his own private time without feeling pressured to talk about it. Kurt would allude to the topic now and then in their more passionate moments (“This is what I think about when I’m alone at night,” he would say as Blaine ran his hands over his body) and even his vague admissions were enough to ignite a spark of desire in Blaine at the implication. But he had never heard Kurt say THAT word, whether in reference to himself or in general.

It shouldn’t surprise him that Kurt had become more comfortable with sex as an adult, but for some reason the revelation had caught him off guard. Even when they were teenagers, desperately fumbling together in the dark in stolen moments Kurt would still blush bashfully and avoid any outright conversations about the specifics of what they were doing. They would have a brief discussion whenever there was something new on the table, but anything other than that made Kurt blush so deeply that Blaine would give in and drop the subject.  
  


**Tuesday, November 8, 2011**

BPOV

“I want to go to your house.”

The words swirled around in Blaine’s head as his hands gripped the steering wheel. Next to him, Kurt sat silently, tapping his fingers to the P!nk song on the radio, looking cool and collected. But Blaine knew better.

The second they were in his room (door shut AND locked, despite being alone in the house) they came together like magnets, lips fusing and hands stumbling for purchase on cheeks and hips, a long familiar dance. Before things got too intense Blaine pulled away, cursing his gentlemanliness.

”Wait—“ he said, straightening his shirt as he worked to steady his breathing. “We should talk about this first. What we want to happen, how far we should go—make sure we’re on the same page.”

Kurt nodded, his eyes shining with something that Blaine couldn’t identify— was it fear? Excitement? Maybe it was both.

”You’re right,” he replied, chuckling softly. “We’ve had minimal conversations about this.”

“Maybe we should sit down?” Blaine suggested, switching on the lamp on his bedside table and crossing the room to his CD player. He popped in one of their mixes that he thought would set the tone and stretched his hand out, grinning when Kurt eagerly accepted it. 

They sat down together and faced each other, Kurt anxiously chewing on his bottom lip.

”Are you nervous?” Blaine asked, reaching out his hand to run his thumb across Kurt’s worried lip.

”A little,” Kurt smiled softly. “But I’m ready, I know I am.” 

”If you’re sure,” Blaine said, moving his hands down to tangle in Kurt’s, studying his face for any signs of discomfort. “You can change your mind at any time, so promise me you’ll say something if you’re uncomfortable.”

”Okay, but only if you promise me the same thing,” Kurt said, running his thumbs over the back of Blaine’s hands in soothing motion.

”Promise,” he said, leaning over to kiss Kurt softly before drawing away to finish their conversation before things got out of control. “So what do you want out of tonight? How far do you want to go?”

”Oh, um, I don’t know,” Kurt said, looking embarrassed. “I don’t think we should go all the way tonight.”

Blaine could feel the immediate relief at Kurt’s admission, unaware that he was nervous about that until it was taken off the table.

”Okay, me neither,” he said quickly. “I was thinking maybe we could just use...um...our hands? I think that would be a good place to start.” Blaine said quickly, willing the blush that was threatening to appear to stay away.

Kurt nodded thoughtfully for a moment before blurting out, ”I think we should get naked!”

They were both silent for a moment as a blush stained Kurt’s cheeks at his admission. Blaine felt his heart rate speed up at the suggestion that he might be seeing Kurt _naked_ soon. He willed the dopey grin off his face before hastily agreeing. He couldn’t help but notice that Kurt seemed uncomfortable still so he said, “We don’t have to get fully naked if you aren’t ready for that, Kurt.”

”No, I am.” Kurt replied, his expression unreadable. “I want that so bad. I’m just...nervous.” He paused, letting his gaze wander around the room before quietly adding, “My clothes are my suit of armour. I’m just nervous to shed them. No one has seen me naked before. At least, not since puberty hit.” He said, blushing profusely. “You go to the gym, change in locker rooms. I always hide in the bathroom stall.”

”Oh, Kurt,” Blaine said, moving his hands to rest on Kurt’s face. “Well I’m honoured that you chose me. And...if it’s any consolation, I um, really want to see you naked.” He admitted, feeling somewhat embarrassed by his own stuttering words.

Kurt grinned widely, leaning in to kiss Blaine quickly before replying, “Well I have to admit, I have an ulterior motive. I really want to see you naked too.” 

They sat blushing for a moment, staring at each other in the dim light from the table lamp. “That’s settled then, naked and hands?” Kurt said finally. 

”Yes,” Blaine replied, laughing for a moment before suddenly shifting and laying down on his side. “We have all night for that. But first—“

He held out his slightly shaking hand, illuminated on the wall behind him in shadows as his eyes locked with Kurt’s.

”—Lie with me?”

***  
 **Monday, April 28, 2024**

BPOV

That first night he had spent with Kurt had been one of the best he’d ever had. Seeing the pale expanse of Kurt’s perfectly unblemished skin and feeling the heat of his cock in his hand had been nothing short of revolutionary. If Blaine had any doubts of his complete and utter gayness, they went out the window when his virginity did that night.

After that night their teenage sex life had been very vanilla, easily described as “lovemaking” and nothing more, missionary position (always) and lots of gazing into each other’s eyes. Kurt was very adamant about eye contact, despite his early embarrassment and attempts to hide his face as he came. When they decided to go *all the way* as they awkwardly phrased it as, Kurt told Blaine that he wouldn’t feel right having to stare at the back of Blaine’s head the whole time, even if it might be less comfortable to do it facing each other. 

They had only gone *all the way* a handful of times before Kurt left for Nyada, only dipping their toes into the water a few weeks before Kurt’s graduation. For the most part, they were perfectly content to rut against each other naked, and their desperation often made any kind of preparation seem like too much work. Kurt was also terrified that they would be caught doing it, and he was only ever comfortable going that far if they knew for sure that they were going to be alone in one of their houses for an extended period of time. Blaine was always confused by this rule (“How is being caught with our dicks rubbing together any better?!” He would exclaim as Kurt laughed and brushed him off) but he didn’t mind all that much, as any orgasm with Kurt was worth having.

Blaine turned his head and eyed the clock on his bedside table. He had to be up in exactly five hours to get ready for work, and his mind was swirling with thoughts of Kurt and sex. He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at his arousal, despite being alone, and he was desperately trying to ignore his erection. It felt like a violation to think of Kurt that way when he wasn’t his to think about anymore. What would Kurt say if he knew Blaine was getting ridiculously aroused at the thought of their vanilla teenaged escapades? It made Blaine feel like a creeper, and he started listing things in his head that he had to do at work that week to distract himself. After half an hour with no luck, he sighed before reaching a hand into his nightstand for lube.

He came with Kurt’s name on his lips, and was asleep within seconds.

**Sunday, May 5, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine hasn’t seen Kurt again that week, both of their schedules made it hard for them to schedule time together. Blaine was in the middle of finals prep for the students and getting his glee club ready for nationals while Kurt was swamped at work and overwhelmed with small children. But they texted daily, little tidbits from their days, funny things the kids said, random memories from their past. On Friday, Blaine got a text from Kurt that made his heart beat a little faster.

K- **So I know I said this on Sunday, but don’t forget that you’re indefinitely invited to our Sunday dinners! Can you come this weekend?**

B- **Of course!! :) looking forward to it! What’s the theme??**

K- **haha no theme this week! I’m cooking dinner for everyone. Spoiler alert: it’s lasagna.**

B- **Yum!! I love lasagna! :) are you sure I can’t bring anything??**

K- **Just yourself! Actually, do you want to come early and keep me company while I cook?**

B- **Yes, I’ll be there!**

Now on Sunday, Blaine found himself once again standing outside of Kurt’s door clutching a bottle of red wine in his hands. It felt silly to be nervous again considering he already did this a week ago, but he still felt mortified that he had got off thinking about Kurt a few days ago and he was irrationally worried that Kurt would look at him and be able to tell somehow.

Eventually he knocked and stood back, ears straining for the sounds of little feet and voices, but he heard nothing. A few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal Kurt standing in the doorway, a beautiful smile gracing his features.

”For you,” Blaine said when he saw him, holding out the wine as he crossed the threshold.

”Oh you shouldn’t have!” Kurt said, though his eyes were bright as he accepted it. “Come on in.”

Blaine followed Kurt into the kitchen, slightly unnerved by the eerie silence. He took a seat at the island after Kurt declined his offer to help and watched as he resumed cutting vegetables for his salad. They talked about mundane work-related things for a few minutes while Blaine thought about why it felt so different today.

”Where are the kids?” Blaine asked, suddenly realizing why the apartment was so quiet. 

“Oh, they’re with Rachel and Jesse,” he said, setting his knife down as he filled the blue bowl next to him with the veggies he had just cut. “Whenever I make dinner for everyone myself either Rachel and Jesse or Santana and Brittany will take the kids while I cook. It’s kind of a trade off situation,” he laughed.

”That’s nice!” Blaine said, watching Kurt bustle around the kitchen, pulling out wine glasses.

”It is,” Kurt smiled, pouring wine into the glasses and passing one to Blaine. “I love my children, don’t get me wrong. But I rarely get to be home alone and just enjoy the silence. If I’m not with the kids I’m at work so I enjoy being able to spend some time alone.”

”I would too,” Blaine replied, raising his glass to clink against Kurt’s. “And you’ve always really enjoyed your time alone, I’m sure it’s difficult to always have little people hanging off of you.”

“Yes, sometimes it is,” Kurt said, setting down his glass and checking the lasagna which was already in the oven, before gesturing for Blaine to follow him to the couch. “But they’re my babies and I love them so much, even when they annoy the shit out of me. Though I do love to have a few hours alone now and then. Can I tell you a secret?” He asked, eyes shining mischievously.

”Always!” Blaine replied, setting his wine glass down on the coffee table and shifting his body slightly so he could see Kurt better.

”Most of the time I do all my dinner prep BEFORE the kids get picked up so I can just lounge around and pretend that I’m a young, single man with no responsibilities.” Kurt laughed before adding, “But don’t tell them! I’m supposed to use that time to cook.”

”Ahh, and what does a young, single man do with his free time?” Blaine asked teasingly.

Kurt pretended to look thoughtful for a moment before smirking and replying, “Watch porn, mostly.”

Blaine felt his jaw drop open and he stared at Kurt blankly for a moment, unsure of what of his response should be before Kurt burst into laughter.

”I wish you could’ve seen your face!” He cried, putting his wine class down and wiping his eyes. “I was kidding of course!” 

Blaine laughed too before replying, “Hey, no judgement here! That truly is what men like to do with their free time, why would you be any different?” 

”You would know,” Kurt said, smirking slightly. “You are New York’s most eligible gay bachelor.”

”As a matter of fact I would,” Blaine replied, sipping from his glass of wine watching Kurt blush at his admission, secretly pleased that he could still make him do that.

“Well congratulations then,” Kurt laughed, quickly trying to hide his blushing face. “I wouldn’t know.”

”You lie,” Blaine smirked, aware that this conversation was teetering on the edge of flirting and not caring one bit about it. He was so thrilled that Kurt was actively participating that he couldn’t bring himself to stop it.

”Of course I’m lying, that’s what a gentleman does,” Kurt said, raising his nose in the air before making eye contact with Blaine. Blaine felt his heart beat harder at Kurt’s admission, suddenly fighting the urge to inch closer to him on the couch.

”Who is this Kurt Hummel, talking about masturbation and porn like it’s no big deal?” Blaine teased, giving into his temptation and shifting slightly closer to Kurt on the couch.

”He grew up and realized that it’s not a big deal, especially when you’re with someone you trust.” Kurt replied, eyes flicking down to where Blaine was edging closer. He sat still for a moment, looking at Blaine with a curious expression on his face. Blaine was aware that something had shifted between them, and the air was thick with something he couldn’t identify. Kurt maintained eye contact before taking a deep breath and closing the gap between them, their legs now pressed together on the couch. He looked hesitantly at Blaine for a moment before he started leaning in. 

Blaine’s breath caught in his throat and he could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. He recognized the look on Kurt’s face and he leaned in, lips edging closer before—.

”DADDY!” Came a shout before the front door slammed and the hallway was filled with voices and running feet, and the moment was lost. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments on the last chapter!!

**Sunday, May 5, 2024**

KPOV

Kurt had never jumped apart from someone as fast as he moved away from Blaine at the sound of Alice’s voice. He was mortified at the idea that he almost got caught kissing his ex-boyfriend by his best friends and his children. All three of the kids were on him in a flash, scrambling up into his lap and peppering him with kisses and chattering loudly about their afternoon with Rachel and Jesse, and it left Kurt painfully aware that he had just barely avoided an embarrassing interruption.

Blaine looked panicked for a moment, but his expression had quickly morphed into an easy smile by the time Rachel rounded the corner into the family room with Santana on her heels. Santana immediately glanced around the room with a suspicious look on her face before she grinned in a way that could only be described as wicked, eyes flicking back and forth between Kurt and Blaine. 

”What’s going on in here?” She asked, giving Kurt a look that implied she knew exactly what was going on. The internal meter she had that detected sexual tension was on in full force today.

”Oh nothing, just chatting,” Kurt replied breezily, standing up to go check on the lasagna as Blaine excused himself to go to the bathroom. Rachel seemed immediately satisfied with that answer, launching into a story about something that Jack had done at the ice cream shop that afternoon. Over her head Santana made eye contact with Kurt and raised her eyebrow, making it clear that she could see right through him.

When Kurt and Rachel first moved to New York, Kurt was certain that Rachel was his best friend and would always be his number one. But when Santana moved in with them he realized very quickly that she was destined to become a rival for that title. While he and Rachel were two sides of the same ambitious coin, he and Santana shared such a similar pessimistic worldview that they bonded instantaneously. Rachel in all her optimistic wishing understood his desires for his career and life, those that were both unattainable and realistic, but sometimes her rose-coloured glasses kept her from understanding how he was truly feeling. The part of Santana’s friendship he valued the most was how she always understood him, she saw into his heart in a way that Rachel (who was frankly too wrapped up in her own ambition) couldn’t. That’s not to say that Rachel wasn’t an amazing friend to him, she always was there for him whenever he needed her, it was just that Santana understood him in a different way. This was something he valued in their friendship but it was also something that often pissed him off because he couldn’t hide anything from her, and she was definitely not buying it today.

He felt her on his heels as he entered the kitchen, leaving Rachel and Jesse to get Sawyer set up on the floor with some baby toys and she didn’t hesitate to corner him the second she got the opportunity.

”Well? What happened?” She hissed, glancing back for signs of Blaine, who was thankfully still in the bathroom.

Kurt feigned ignorance. “I’m not sure what you mean,” he said, pulling the lasagna out of the oven to check it.

”You could cut the sexual tension in that room with a knife! I could practically see Blaine busting through his perfectly pressed pants.”

”Don’t be crass,” he scolded, sliding the lasagna back into the oven for a few more minutes before finally turning to face her. He knew that an involuntary blush was staining his cheeks at her observation but he quickly arranged his face into the bitchiest look he could muster.

”Come on,” she said. “Tell me what happened.”

Kurt sighed before giving in and whispering “we almost kissed,” as he watched for signs of anyone else entering the kitchen.

”No way!” She hissed, eyes glowing with excitement. “Why didn’t you?”

”We definitely would have if everyone hadn’t come home when they did! Oh my god, this is a disaster!” Kurt cried, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair.

Santana looked startled as she replied, “What? Why?”

”Because we’re supposed to be building a friendship again! We’re back in each other’s lives for one week and we’re already almost making out on my couch!” Kurt cried, running a hand through his hair, before realizing what he was doing and quickly pulling it away, trying to see his reflection in the window to assess the damage.

”Well what do you expect?! You were in a full-blown relationship before, it’s not like when you first met.”

”I guess so, but I still think we’re moving too fast.” Kurt replied nervously, now searching his cutlery drawer for a knife so he could cut the bread he’d heated up.

”I guess you two have to talk,” Santana said, smirking, “but you know my opinion on the subject.”

”Oh I know,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes as the timer for the lasagna went off behind him. He passed Santana a stack of plates and cutlery and gave her a pointed look, silently reminding her to keep her mouth shut at dinner. She rolled her eyes at him as she walked away, but he knew she wouldn’t cause TOO much trouble. 

”Kurt?” He heard a voice ask tentatively behind him. He turned and saw Blaine standing there, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to another. “I’m so sorry—“

”No, don’t apologize,” Kurt said quickly, eager to erase the frown off of Blaine’s face. “I made a move on you, not the other way around!”

Blaine grinned sheepishly and said, “I suppose you’re right but I was an active participant.” He dropped his voice an octave lower, glancing around him quickly before adding, “And I’ve wanted to do that for about a week now.”

Kurt felt his stomach flutter with butterflies and he could hardly contain his glee at Blaine’s admission. They stood and smiled stupidly at each other for a moment before Blaine talked again.

”I do think we have to talk about this though. Maybe in a neutral place where we won’t start kissing.” He smirked.

”I’m off tomorrow, do you have any free time during the day?” Kurt said. “We could go get coffee?”

”I have my free block tomorrow from 10-11:30. We could meet then?” Blaine said, looking hopeful.

”Yes! The twins need to get picked up from preschool at noon so that’s perfect.” Kurt replied. “For now—act normal.”

Dinner was a loud affair. Alice had seemingly endless stories to tell, and Kurt struggled to pay attention, mind occupied with thoughts of Blaine. Thankfully there were four other adults who were actively listening to pick up where he was slacking.

”And then Gracie said that elephants were really big, bigger than a house but I didn’t think that elephants got that big because in that movie we saw that one time the elephants were little—“ 

”Are they the size of a dinosaur, Alice?” Jack asked, eyes wide and wondering. Alice shrugged and continued on her rant before Blaine cut in.

”Okay elephants are cool, but what is your FAVOURITE animal?” He asked, waiting while all three children looked thoughtful.

”Dinosaur,” Jack said quietly, smiling up at Blaine. Kurt didn’t miss the sweet look the two shared and it made his heart swell.

”What about you Alice?” Blaine asked, taking the last bite of salad as he waited for an answer.

”Hmm I dunno because all animals are nice but I do like parrots because a parrot can talk like a person.” She replied. Blaine nodded appreciatively before turning to Grace, who still looked thoughtful.

“I think...cats,” she said, still looking thoughtful. “They’re so pretty, and they jump gracefully like a ballerina.” She said, emphasizing her point by holding her arms up high over her head.

”I love cats too,” Rachel added from where she was feeding Sawyer. “It’s one of the words we’ve been practicing...Sawyer, say cat! CAAAAAT.”

Kurt winced and leaned over to Santana. “How long before that poor child needs hearing aids?” 

She rolled her eyes and smirked at Blaine who was listening in, a small smile on his lips. “At this rate? A year...at most.”

Rachel, so engrossed in getting her baby to say the word “cat” only got louder in octave, seemingly oblivious to their conversation.

”Cabaaaga” Sawyer babbled, banging his tiny fist on his high chair.

”Good boy!” Rachel shrieked, clapping her hands as she bounced in her chair.

”That wasn’t even a word, Rach,” Santana responded, exchanging a look with Kurt. “That was just a sound that started with a ‘C.’”

”It was too a word!” Rachel cried, looking at Jesse for support. Jesse merely shrugged and went back to eating the last of his lasagna, looking eager to avoid an unnecessary confrontation with his wife.

”Oh yeah, use it in a sentence?” Santana retorted, putting her fork down and gearing up for an argument.

Kurt got ready to intervene but before he could do anything, Blaine spoke again. 

”I have a cat, Grace,” he said, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and passing it over to Grace after thumbing through it. “Here’s a picture, her name is Maggie.”

Kurt watched Grace’s eyes grow wide at the photo as she exclaimed, “This is the prettiest cat I’ve ever seen!” 

”You’ll have to come over and meet her sometime,” Blaine said, accepting his phone again when Grace handed it back to him. Kurt caught sight of a giant fluffy white cat as he took it back, and suppressed a laugh at the ridiculousness of Blaine adopting such a silly looking thing. ”She has the softest hair in the world!”

”Wow,” she said, eyes wide with excitement. “You can call me Gracie by the way.” She added, smiling up at Blaine as he put his phone away again. “I only let my family and friends call me that.”

Blaine looked touched, and Kurt spent a moment feeling overcome with affection.

***

That night after everyone had left, Kurt went to bed early. He couldn’t stop replaying what had happened with Blaine earlier in his head. What was he thinking jumping into things with Blaine so quickly? Did he really lack all self control? Two weeks ago he was just a single dad, and the idea of dating wasn’t even on his radar. And now, he could barely spend time alone with Blaine before he was practically throwing himself at him. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t desperate for love. 

When he found out that Justin was dying, Kurt made him a promise that he would move on. Kurt had privately decided, however, that he would rather live alone then risk a broken heart again. He had his shot at true love twice, and both times it had been snatched away from him. He was perfectly content to focus on his amazing children and the unconditional love that they gave him. He didn’t think he needed anything else.

But what happens when your first love returns? Does that change the rules? Kurt wasn’t sure, and he was the one who made the rules in the first place. Did he want to risk having his heart broken by Blaine again? It would surely hurt more the second time, and now he had his children to think of too. What if they grew attached to Blaine and then things didn’t work out? That wouldn’t be fair to them.

After hours of tossing and turning while he considered these questions (and daydreamed of Blaine’s arms around him), Kurt gave up and climbed out of bed. He didn’t think twice about crossing the room to his closet and pulling out the box that he had shuffled from home to home for 12 years now. 

The box itself was worn with age, the fading sharpie letters on the side still labeled it as “Warbler Memories,” but it wouldn’t be hard for his family and friends to realize that “Warbler Memories” = “Blaine Memories.” It was small, the kind of box used for packing books, and it wasn’t as heavy as he had anticipated when he pulled it down from the shelf. He hadn’t opened this box since he sealed it 12 years earlier. The tape was lifting on the sides but it had done it’s job surprisingly well, and Kurt had to pull hard to get it all off.

Inside there were, in fact, memories of the Warblers, competition photos, ticket stubs, and his tie, among other things. He allowed himself to look at them for only a few moments, before setting them aside to find what he was really looking for. The next thing he saw was an old blue USB that had been labeled “Blaine.” He remembered hastily downloading all photos he could find of the two of them on his social media pages and in the little albums on his computer and sticking them on the USB. He erased all traces of Blaine from his everyday life, but he still wanted to keep them because he was sentimental like that. He set it aside to look at later and kept digging. He finally found the fabric pencil case that he was looking for under the photo of him and Blaine at prom, and he was eager to get it open, pulling at the soft zipper as carefully as he could manage, scared that he might ruin it. 

The pencil case was stuffed with post-it notes, memories of hastily scribbled notes in boring high school classes that Kurt had collected in all of their time in school together. He always hung on to the best ones, though a few mundane days slipped in here and there:

_Lima Bean after school? -Blaine_

_only if you’re buying ;) -Kurt_

Some made no sense:

_I told you that it would be a bad idea to leave your jacket on the back of that chair! -Kurt_

_How was I supposed to know there would be a turtle here today?!?! -Blaine_

And some hurt his heart:

_I think I fall more and more in love with you each day. I never knew that this love was possible, and I keep thinking one day you’ll come to your senses and realize that I’m not worthy. What a privilege it is to be with you and to be loved by you. xxx forever yours, Blaine_

Just reading that note reminded Kurt of how loved Blaine had always made him feel after years of loneliness and longing. To feel so desired and wanted was a new experience, and Kurt just wanted to fall into Blaine’s orbit and live there forever.

Forever. What a strange term. Nothing lasts forever, and yet at 17 Kurt was quite sure he had found his forever, and he would have screamed it from the rooftops if he wasn’t in cow town Ohio. If you had asked Kurt at 17 where he would be in 10 years, married to Blaine was the one thing he was absolutely sure of. How disappointed 17 year old Kurt would be in him now.

He could feel that he was dangerously close to crying so he went about putting the notes back where he found them. He was almost done, when one written on green paper caught his eye.

 _please record yourself singing “Amazing Grace” so I can listen to it when I’m sad-Blaine_

_Are you saying that my voice makes you sad?? -Kurt_

_Noooo, your voice is angelic and it’s the perfect comfort to me when I’m down- Blaine_

_Awww you charmer. But I can’t, no one can ever find out that I sing religious songs to you in secret, it would ruin my rep! -Kurt_

_I’m serious! When we have a daughter we need to name her Grace. It’s perfect because she’ll be amazing not only because she’s ours, but because she’s lucky enough to have you as a dad- Blaine_

The tears that had been threatening to fall suddenly spilled over, and Kurt quickly set the paper aside to avoid being damaged in the unexpected waterfall.

Kurt had long been an atheist when he decided to sing “Amazing Grace” to Blaine, despite it being a Christian hymn. It was a song that his mother used to sing to him at bedtime, and one day he decided that he wanted to share it with Blaine. Blaine had loved it so much that he badgered Kurt about recording it for weeks before eventually giving up, though Kurt would still sing it to him every once and awhile.

But that wasn’t the part of the note that stuck out to him. The memory of his mother singing “Amazing Grace” had always stuck with him, and he loved to sing it to his own children when they requested it, so to remember that he had sung it to Blaine wasn’t that much of a surprise. The surprise came from remembering that it was Blaine who had suggested the name of his first child. 

Kurt couldn’t believe that he had repressed such an important memory, and his stomach was clenching painfully at the realization that he had taken their name and used it without Blaine. His Grace lay asleep in the room across the hall, but it wasn’t Blaine who she called “Dad.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that there is a time jump in this chapter!

**Monday, May 6, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine was tapping his fingers impatiently that Monday morning as he sat at the coffee shop waiting for Kurt. He was running late now which was doing little to calm Blaine’s nerves about this conversation and what direction it was going to take.

He had laid awake for hours the night before replaying the moment they almost kissed in his head. They had been so close, and he wondered if they would’ve stopped if they hadn’t been interrupted. He knew he wouldn’t have stopped it himself, and he was fairly certain from the determined look on Kurt’s face that he wasn’t going to either.

“Blaine!” He heard Kurt’s voice call out and he looked up from where he was staring at the table. Kurt was smiling and about to get into line before Blaine gestured in front of him, indicating that he had already bought a coffee for him. The smile that lit up Kurt’s face was infectious, and Blaine couldn’t stop his own grin in return.

”Thank you!” Kurt said breathlessly as Blaine stood up to hug him. “I’m so sorry I’m late! I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork at preschool for an end of the year field trip. I don’t know why I have to fill out everything twice, all the information is the same for both of them. Such a hassle.”

”It’s no problem,” Blaine said easily, though his heart was racing so fast it was a wonder that Kurt couldn’t hear it. Kurt was dressed far too nice for a day off, even his lounging around clothes were perfectly tailored. Blaine couldn’t help but admire the way his jeans hugged his body as he turned to put his sweater on the back of his chair, and he quickly averted his gaze to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation.

”How was work this morning?” Kurt asked, taking a sip of his coffee as they sat back down, either not noticing the blush that had stained Blaine’s cheeks, or being far too polite to comment on it. 

”The usual,” Blaine replied, eager to distract himself. “Test prep, panicking students, emails from parents. And all before ten! This time of year is exhausting.”

”I can imagine,” Kurt replied, tilting his head sympathetically. They made some more idle chit-chat, Kurt telling him about how the kids were behind this morning because Alice refused to put on her sneakers, insisting instead on wearing shiny Mary Janes that Kurt thought were far too fancy for pre-school, but he eventually gave in. Blaine laughed along with him, and he couldn’t help but feel enchanted by Alice’s stubborn little personality.

A few minutes of small talk later, Kurt looked at Blaine with a determined expression. “I guess we should just jump in, no use beating around the bush anymore,” He said, biting his bottom lip nervously.

”Yes, I think you’re right,” Blaine replied, taking a deep breath. “I want to start by saying sor—“

”No!” Kurt cut him off, reaching his hand across the table and taking Blaine’s. “No apologies. We agreed that it was something that we both wanted to do.”

”Okay,” Blaine replied, smiling despite his nerves. “I’m going to be blunt then. What are you looking for from me? If you just want to be friends, I’m okay with that. But if you want something more...”

”I do,” Kurt said quickly, picking up his coffee and holding it to his lips to try and hide the grin that he couldn’t control, but Blaine saw it anyway. He felt himself grinning back for a moment but reality came crashing back down on him. Kurt was watching his face carefully and noticed the moment that something changed. “What do YOU want, Blaine?” He asked. 

”A second chance with you is something I don’t deserve,” Blaine said, glancing down at the table. “But I want it...so badly.”

”What do you mean you don’t deserve it?” Kurt said, furrowing his brow.

”Because Kurt,” Blaine said, eager to make him understand. “As much as you say that we were equally at fault, I broke your heart. I betrayed your trust,” He stopped and glanced around the busy coffee shop for a moment before lowering his voice and adding, “I knew how you felt about sex. How sacred it was for you. And I betrayed you in a way that I knew would hurt you the most.”

Kurt eyes were shining with tears, but he shook his head anyway. “Blaine...I can’t pretend that it didn’t break my heart to imagine you being intimate with someone else. I thought about it for months: what he looked like, what you did together, if you enjoyed it...” the tears spilled over then but he kept talking. “But my heart healed eventually. And a lot of that came from understanding the part I played in what happened to us. I was a bad boyfriend, plain and simple. Should you have gone off and had sex with someone else? No. But you were a kid. Kids do dumb things, and who am I to hold you accountable for something you did at 17 years old? You have to forgive yourself because I already forgave you years ago.”

Blaine swallowed hard and tentatively reached his hands for Kurt’s again. Kurt didn’t hesitate to clasp them in his own. His heart was clenching painfully, but he felt it riddled with something else too. They looked at each other for a moment before he realized what it was. Hope.

“Okay,” he sniffed, offering Kurt a watery smile.

“You do deserve me, Blaine. If you didn’t, do you really think I’d let you back in again?” Kurt said raising an eyebrow and chuckling when Blaine shook his head. “Good. Now that that’s out of the way, I have a few thoughts.”

Blaine’s heart immediately began to race with anxiety again but he gestured for Kurt to continue anyway.

”I think we should hold off from actually dating for a month,” he said, nervously watching Blaine’s face for a reaction. “I really want to try this again, but I think it’s important that we get to know each other again first. I don’t know about you, but I’m not the same person I was 12 years ago. My opinions, tastes, plans for the future—they’ve all changed. And I know that you’re a different Blaine sitting in front of me. We need to get to know each other now, who we are _right now_ , before we jump in.”

Surprisingly, Blaine couldn’t find fault with Kurt’s suggestion. “I agree,” he said, watching as Kurt’s face morphed into a look of relief. “I can’t wait to get to know you again.”

“I know at the heart of it we’re still the same people,” Kurt continued. “But adulthood brings unavoidable changes, good and bad, and I want to get to know the you that you are now.”

“I want that too,” Blaine replied. “And I think that’s a very mature suggestion. Plus it’s a busy time of year for us both, maybe we can revisit this once summer starts? My last day is June 8, maybe we can plan to go for dinner that night to discuss it?”

”I think that’s a great idea. It’s a date,” Kurt replied, smiling shyly. “But I still want to spend time together before then. I think our relationship was so strong when we were kids because we were friends first. I hope we can start there again.”

Blaine’s mind was racing at the idea of reliving his teen years with Kurt: friendly coffee dates, rented movies, singing in the kitchen. He wanted all of it, even the platonic parts.

”I love that idea,” he replied honestly. “You were the best friend I ever had Kurt, and I know we can get to that place again. And I think you’re right, our relationship will be stronger because of it. And if at the end we decide we don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship, at least we can both get our best friend back.”

They sat at the table grinning at each other stupidly until Blaine had to run out of the shop, late for work but not caring one bit.

***

**K- hey so I had an idea that might help us get to know each other again!**

**B- What are you thinking?**

**K- I think we should just go back and forth asking each other questions. They can be personal or mundane, but the only rule is that we both have to answer every question. So whatever you ask me, you also have to answer.**

**B- that seems like a good place to start!**

**K- okay, awesome! I’ll go first: What activity calms you down?**

**B- hmmm probably playing the guitar. I actually keep one in my classroom at school so I can pull it out in between classes when I’m feeling stressed. You?**

**K- weirdly, watching kids shows with my kids. I used to always think sewing was the best activity for that but now when I feel stressed I like to turn on whatever show my kids are into that week and watch it with them. Definitely eases the tension. Sometimes when they’re asleep I’ll even watch it alone. It’s comforting, I guess.**

**B- wow, I would have never guessed that. That’s literally the cutest answer ever.** **What is the strangest habit you have?**

**K- I secretly paint my nails when I’m feeling down.**

**B- what?!**

**K- I started because I realized how fun it was to paint Gracie’s nails, so I decided one night to try it on a bigger canvas (my own) and I loved it. I’m not a fan of how it looks on me, so I usually paint my nails and then take it right off because it’s more of the process then the appearance.**

**B- omg, that’s so interesting. You would have never done that before, I’m honestly shocked.**

**K- well, I was really wrapped up in the idea of not being seen as too feminine because I was already naturally so flamboyant that I didn’t want to give anyone any more reason to bother me. So I would have never tried it, even as a joke. But now I don’t worry about that stuff as much. Sometimes I don’t even take off the polish and I still go about my day without even thinking about it.**

**B- I’m glad you’ve learned to be more comfortable with being more feminine, that’s awesome. My strangest habit is weirdly related to yours, though it’s still the same as when I was younger. I bite my cuticles when I’m nervous.**

**K- Blaine, you still do that?! Your poor nail beds! Okay, my turn: What is your unhealthiest habit?**

**B- sometimes I will eat as many as six donuts in one sitting. Only when I’m sad though!**

**K- omg, I was going to say the nights when I decide not to include veggies at dinner because I’m lazy, but that’s nothing in comparison to THAT.**

**B- No judging!! Okay, what is the most awkward conversation you’ve ever had?**

**K- interesting question coming from someone who usually caused all of my awkward conversations to happen.**

**B- whatever do you mean?!**

**K- C’mon Blaine, you know you’re the king of shock factor. There’s just too many to list.**

**B- tryyy**

**K- well, there was the time you tried to ambush sex talk me.**

**B- ahh, you mean the time you kicked me out of your room??**

**K- ugh I’m embarrassed just thinking about it. Plus that spiralled into an embarrassing sex talk with my dad, so thanks for that one.  
**

**B- I stand by that decision. Give me another example of a time that I shock factored you.**

**K- literally our entire friendship and relationship! No one’s words could make me blush like yours.  
**

***

**Friday, July 22, 2011**

BPOV

“Tell me a secret,” Blaine asked, watching Kurt sort through all the clothes he’d pulled from his closet.

”A secret?” Kurt replied, turning to face Blaine, raising an eyebrow in question. “What kind of secret?”

“A secret one?” Blaine replied teasingly. 

”I don’t have any secrets,” Kurt insisted, but Blaine didn’t miss the blush that was rapidly staining his cheeks.

“I see that blush, Kurt Hummel,” he replied. “Come on...tell me something that I don’t know.”

”I secretly shop at the Gap when I need a base item for an outfit, like a plain tee,” Kurt said, hanging up the jacket he’d been inspecting back in the closet.

”Oh wow,” Blaine replied, “I definitely wasn’t expecting that. But that’s not the kind of secret I’m interested in. Tell me something personal. Something you’d never tell anyone else.”

”That is something personal that I would never tell anyone else. I can’t risk anyone finding out that I’ve spent my money at the Gap! Even if their prices are phenomenal.” Kurt replied before crossing the room to sit next to Blaine on the bed.

”While I do appreciate your desire for your reputation as a fashion god to remain unscathed, I was hoping you’d share something more personal with me. I feel like there’s so many layers to you that I still don’t know. 

”Blaineee,” Kurt whined, embarrassment written across his face. ”I don’t like being vulnerable, you know that.”

“Come on—I’ll go first. I sleep naked.”

”Oh my god,” Kurt replied, eyes wide and dark at Blaine’s admission. “You can’t just say something like that!”

”Why not? You’re my boyfriend! And besides, it’s not sexual or anything, it’s something I’ve done since I was younger! I just find pajamas restricting and I get too hot, so I eventually just stopped wearing them.”

”What if your parents come into your room while you’re asleep and you’re just naked?!” Kurt asked, horror etched across his features at the idea.

”I mean, my parents know,” Blaine replied, loving the dark blush on Kurt’s face and knowing that he had caused it. “Like I said, I’ve done it for years. They just always knock really loudly before they come in and even then my door is usually locked.”

”I would be so horrified if my dad knew that I was prancing around my room naked.” Kurt said, visibly shuttering at the thought.

”It’s not a big deal, you should try it sometime,” Blaine said, trying not to let his mind linger on THAT thought too long.

”I could never, my dad is always coming into my room. He loves to knock as he opens the door, defeating the purpose of knocking in the first place!” Kurt said before changing the topic. “Do you think my dad would let me paint my door?”

”Nice try, it’s your turn now.” Blaine replied, raising an eyebrow. “I just told you something that no one but my family knows. You must have something like that.” He could tell from the look on Kurt’s face that he did have some secret in mind, but getting it out of him would be another task entirely. 

“Ugh, you’re so persistent.” Kurt said, rolling his eyes at him while looking nervous. 

”Look,” Blaine said, gently taking Kurt’s hands in his own, suddenly feeling bad. “I don’t want to force you to talk about anything you don’t want to, so I’m not going to push anymore. I want you to know that I respect your boundaries, even though I am pressuring you a little. So, I’m going to drop it now.”

Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine on the lips before standing up and going back over to the closet.

”Thank you,” he said, picking up a pair of shoes from the ground and inspecting them. “But pressuring me to talk about intimate things with you is not necessarily a bad thing. I know you would never pressure me to do anything I don’t want to do, and you’re right, I think it is important that we can talk openly in our relationship. It’s just hard for me to get out of my comfort zone, but I don’t mind when you push, even if it makes me a little embarrassed.”

Blaine smiled in relief, and settled back to watch Kurt putter around his closet some more. Nearly 5 minutes passed in silence before Kurt turned and made eye contact with him, a determined look on his face.

“Okay, I thought of something. But you have to PROMISE, that you’ll never tell anyone,” he said, biting his bottom lip anxiously.

”I promise. You can trust me with anything.”

Kurt smiled at that before walking back over to the bed. Blaine assumed that he was going to sit back down so he was surprised to see Kurt getting on his knees and disappearing from sight. Blaine was confused when he felt the edge of the mattress tilt up slightly until he realized that Kurt was retrieving something that he had hidden there. Kurt wasn’t going to just tell Blaine his secret, he was going to _show_ him.

Kurt straightened up and then sat down on the bed, holding the object in his lap. Blaine could see that it was a book, but the cover was face down in Kurt’s lap with his hands obscuring the back. Kurt’s face was anxious, and he looked almost like he was going to throw up.

”Kurt, you don’t have to do this,” Blaine said, eager to ease the tension. “You’re entitled to your secrets, don’t feel you have to share them if you’re not ready.”

“No, I want to,” Kurt replied, his eyes shining with determination even with the nerves. He took a deep breath before handing Blaine the book.

The cover of the book was of a beach at sunset. Silver letters looped across the top spelling out the words “Becoming One” in the orange sky, and the edges were bent from use. Two dark figures were silhouetted against the glowing backdrop, wrapped up so tightly in each other that it was hard to tell when one ended and the other began. Though it was impossible to make out any features of the two people, it was immediately apparent to Blaine that these were two men based on the build of their bodies. It all came crashing down on Blaine exactly what this book was, and even more exciting still, what this book _meant._

Blaine looked up from where he’d been staring at the cover to see Kurt watching him in anxious anticipation.

”Is this—?” Blaine started to ask, though he was already sure he knew the answer.

”Yes,” Kurt replied, blushing to the root of his hair, twisting his hands together. “It’s erotic literature.”

”Oh,” Blaine responded, feeling genuinely speechless. “Wow.”

”Ugh, do you think I’m a freak?” Kurt said, quickly trying to stand up before Blaine reached a hand out to stop him and pull him back.

”No! Kurt, of course you’re not a freak. Why would you think that?” 

“It’s not normal, I know it’s not.”

”I don’t understand why you’d say that” Blaine replied, frowning slightly. “Obviously it’s ‘normal’ if the books are being written in the first place. They wouldn’t keep printing them if no one was reading them. Why would you think that I would think that?”

Kurt looked awkwardly at his hands again before replying, “I just couldn’t read the look on your face.”

”I definitely don’t think you’re a freak,” Blaine said, resting his hands reassuringly on Kurt’s knee. “The face you couldn’t read? Surprise mixed with being turned on.” Blaine said, blushing at his own admission.

”Oh,” Kurt said, once again making eye contact with Blaine.

”I was just so surprised, Kurt. I didn’t think you were comfortable reading about stuff like this.”

”I wasn’t...well, I’m not usually. Do you remember a few months ago? When you tried to talk to me about sex? Well, not long after that my dad gave me a sex talk and he gave me all these pamphlets. They were so technical and awkward, and I just hated trying to read them. But I knew that you were right, and that it was important for me to learn about these things. I wasn’t comfortable watching... _those movies_ and reading technical information made me too uncomfortable. I eventually decided that reading about sex would be better than having to see it, so I went to the bookstore and got that. I picked it because you can’t really see the people in the picture, so it didn’t feel like too much of an invasion of privacy. I know that these things are exaggerated and not how sex actually is in real life, but now I feel like I finally understand what all the hype is about and that I’ll be prepared when the time comes. So it was the right decision.”

”I’m honestly so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone,” Blaine said. “I know it had to be uncomfortable but I’m glad you’re happy with your decision.

”I am,” Kurt said. “I knew I had to take control and educate myself. And this was the best way for me to do it.”

Blaine nodded thoughtfully and looked back down at the book. It had clearly been read more than once, and that thought sent a thrill of excitement up his spine.

“Well?” Blaine asked after a moment, looking up and raising his eyebrow suggestively.

”Well what?” 

“Did you like it?” 

”Oh my god, Blaine!” Blaine didn’t think it was possible for Kurt to turn any redder than he already was but apparently he was wrong.

”Don’t be embarrassed! You’re allowed to like it, Kurt.”

”Okay, fine. Yes I liked it, I liked it a lot. No further questions!” Kurt said grabbing the book and shoving it back under his mattress before going back to work on his closet.

”Hot!” Blaine replied, laying down on his side to keep watching Kurt work. Kurt clearly felt his gaze on him so he turned his head and made eye contact, winking quickly before changing the subject.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thursday, May 9, 2024**

KPOV

“Daddy?”

”Yes, Jack?” Kurt looked up from where he was tying two elastics at the front of Alice’s hair. She had requested “Pigtails but small” and he had assumed this is what she meant, though he couldn’t be sure. 

”When are Grandpa and Grandma coming to see us?” Jack asked, chasing the last bit of soggy cereal in his bowl of milk with his spoon. 

”Hmm,” Kurt said, glancing over at the calendar on the wall as he got out a bit of gel to smooth out the top of Alice’s hair. “They’ll be here 3 weeks from today.”

“That’s basically forever away,” Alice said, looking over at Jack who looked equally disappointed. 

“Don’t be so sad,” Kurt said reassuringly. “They’ll be here before you know it. And then they’re going to stay here for one whole week! How fun will that be?”

”So fun!” Jack replied, eyes shining with excitement. “Will Grandma bring her cookies?”

Kurt could barely suppress his eye-roll. Carole’s nestle tollhouse cookie recipe was a favourite among his children, much to Kurt’s dismay. He had spent YEARS perfecting his own cookie recipe only to be outshined by NESTLE, and it took a stern talk from Rachel to get over his bitterness.

”Come on, Kurt,” she had said, rolling her eyes at him during one of their recent trips to Ohio. “I don’t understand why you care so much.”

”Because I’ve worked so hard to find the perfect recipe! And now all Carole has to do read directions on the chocolate chip bag and suddenly she’s the Mrs. Fields of cookies?” 

Rachel had laughed at him and rested a hand on his shoulder before saying, “While your baking jealously is cute, I think you might be taking it too personally. Your kids love your baking, and they’re allowed to love Carole’s too. Plus, I think it’s sweet that they have that connection! She’s their Grandma, and Grandma’s make special cookies for their grandkids.”

In the present, Kurt kept her words close to heart and tried not to feel offended. He loved how Carole loved his children, and he was so glad that they got to have her as a Grandma. He thought about all she had lost in her life, how she had cried when Grace was born, not out of excitement, but out of loss for what she never had. She would never hold her son’s children, never see him slip into that fatherhood role. When she came with Burt to meet Grace, her sadness was palpable, though she smiled weakly when he answered the door. It was only when she held Grace herself, and was introduced to her as “Grandma” that she cried once again, but this time for another reason entirely.

So he pushed the thought aside, and reminded himself of how special their connection was.

”How about we FaceTime them when I get home from work? Then you ask her yourself!” He said, finally. He held up the small mirror he kept in the kitchen in front of Alice. “All done here! Thoughts? I love it, very Baby Spice chic circa 1997.”

“Huh?” she said, frowning at him through the mirror. 

”Oh my god, I’ve failed you as a father.”

They were interrupted by the sound of Andrea laughing at them from the front door. 

“Kurt, I don’t think a lack of Spice Girls knowledge constitutes failure,” she said as she walked into the kitchen, scooping Jack up into a hug. 

“Well, maybe we need to watch the Spice Girls movie tonight to make up for it.” He replied, helping Alice down off her stool.

”You know that movie is trash!” Andrea said, rolling her eyes as she poured herself a cup of the coffee he had made that morning.

”Take it back!” Kurt gasped, clutching his heart.

”Never!” She replied, laughing. “You know they’re not the most talented.”

”Okay, are there fashion choices questionable? Yes. Are their voices mediocre? Also yes. But did they create a fantastic dramatic spectacle that defined the 90s and set a precedent for female empowerment? YES! I will always love them.”

“I suppose we’ll have to just agree to disagree on that one,” she said, running a cloth over Jack’s face. “Now, get out of here, you’re going to be late!”

Kurt glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that he was indeed running behind.

”Shoot,” he said, glancing around. “Where’s Gracie?”

“Room,” Jack replied, gesturing down the hallway. Kurt hurried over to her bedroom and ran in to find her sitting on the floor by her bed. He gasped in shock when he saw that she had red lipstick all over her face and dark smudges of poorly applied mascara on her eyelids. She had pulled out the scruchie he had tied her hair up in, and she had added a collection of random bobby pins and tiny neon elastics. Her white school blouse was stained with lipstick, and she had a bottle of nail polish spilled on her white carpet. He saw that she had covered her fingers in the polish as well, and it had got in her hair, clumping it up together at the ends.

“Grace Ray Hummel!! What on earth do you think you’re doing?” Kurt shrieked, feeling his heart rate rise in anger.

She looked up and made eye contact. For a moment they both just looked at each other and then Grace’s eyes welled with tears.

”I just—I just wanted to be pretty,” she said, crying. “Taylee said yesterday that I was the ugliest girl in our class.”

Kurt’s heart sank in dismay as he watched his 5 year old cry mascara tears down her pale cheeks, and he felt the strangest urge to cry too before anger bubbled to the surface. He arranged his face to hide his rage and calmly walked over to where she sat crying. He got on the floor (trying not to think too hard about the likelihood of getting lint on his freshly pressed pants) and pulled her into his lap. He wiped her tears with his hand and pulled her into a hug while she cried on his shoulder.

He wasn’t sure what to say. No parenting book had prepared him for what to do when his kindergartener told him that she thought she was ugly and was being teased at school. Don’t problems like this usually arise later in life? He wasn’t ready to deal with this now. As she cried on his shoulder, his heart broke for her and he struggled to find the words to comfort her, so he settled for murmuring endearments in her ear. 

It was in that moment that he felt the weight of Justin’s passing. Justin would have known what to do, what to say. He was the emotional one, always knew the right words when Kurt was feeling down and he had no doubt that he would know what to do in this situation too. Being a single father had brought plenty of challenges, but being alone in situations like this was always the worst. He wanted nothing more to turn to his partner and look for guidance, navigate these waters together, but it was just him. He felt tears well up in his eyes, crying for his daughter’s pain, and for his own loss. 

He pulled himself together before pulling her away from him. She was swiping at her eyes, spreading the dark mascara almost to her hairline and he knew that she would definitely need a bath.

”Look at me,” he said, running his thumb over her cheek. “You are the most beautiful girl I know.”

“No, I’m not,” she sniffed. “I’m so ugly.”

”You are not ugly!” He said, desperate to make her understand. 

”If I’m not ugly then why did Taylee say I’m ugly?” She said, picking at a thread on her skirt. Kurt suppressed an eye-roll at the silliness of a name like “Taylee” and focused on the task at hand.

”I don’t know, baby,” he replied. “Sometimes people say things they don’t mean because they’re angry. When people are mean to other people it’s usually because they are mad about something else. Do you remember when Jack broke your dollhouse?”

”Yes,” she said, frowning. “I was so, so mad.”

”And do you remember what happened? You were mad at Jack but because he was just little and didn’t understand you got mad at me instead. You said I was a bad daddy for letting him do that.”

”I forgot that part,” she said, looking up at him.

”I know you don’t actually think I’m a bad daddy but you took your anger in Jack out on me. And I think that’s what Taylee did to you too. She’s mad about something else so she’s taking it out on you.”

”That’s not nice,” she said, sniffling.

”No, it’s not,” he replied, “But sometimes people aren’t very nice. And it’s okay to feel sad. But you are not ugly. I promise.”

”Okay...and you’re not a bad daddy,” she said, hugging him again. 

”Thank you,” he replied as she tucked her head under his chin. He glanced at his watch and saw that they were definitely late now. “Okay, go into the bathroom and get undressed, you need a bath to get all this makeup off your face and the nail polish out of your hair.”

“Okay,” she said, standing up and leaving the room. Kurt stayed on the floor for a moment and rested his face in his hands. His heart was broken thinking of his little girl looking in the mirror and thinking that she was ugly. How can a five year old already have such negative thoughts? It was so hard to be a girl.

”Kurt?” Came a voice from the doorway. He looked up and saw that Andrea was standing there and looking down at him, a sympathetic look on her face. “Are you okay?”

”I don’t even know,” he replied, standing up from the floor. “How much of that did you hear?”

”Enough,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder to where Grace had disappeared. “I can’t believe someone would say that to her, kids are so mean.”

”Don’t I know it,” he replied, darkly. “I’m going to call the school and maybe bring her in after lunch.”

”That’s a good idea,” Andrea replied. “I’ll take the twins to the park and maybe to Starbucks. Give you two some time.”

”Thank you so much,” he breathed out in relief.

She reached her hand out and rested it on his shoulder. “You were amazing. That was a tough one.”

“Do you think?” He asked quietly. “I really had no idea what to say.”

”You said all the right things! And you talked to her in terms she could understand. I think you handled it really well.”

And then Kurt surprised them both by giving her a hug.

***

Later that morning, after Grace was bathed and changed, she sat on the couch and was watching cartoons as Kurt was on his knees scrubbing the pink nail polish out of the carpet. It thankfully seemed to be lifting which he was relieved about. He was still feeling overwhelmed by the events of that morning but cleaning up was giving him time to think. It was now almost 9, and he decided that he wanted to do something special with Grace to make her feel better before taking her to school. He had already called Toby who agreed to cover some of his workload that morning. Sometimes it paid to be the one in charge. 

As he sat trying to come up with what to do, it occurred to him that there was only one person that he wanted to see.

**K- are you free at all this morning?**

The reply came only five minutes later:

**B- I have my free block again at 10 this morning. Why?**

**K- Gracie and I have had quite the morning. I found her (and her carpet) covered in makeup and nail polish because some girl at school told her she was the ugliest girl in her class. Lots of tears later and we’ve decided to take the morning off. I was thinking of taking her for breakfast to make her feel a bit better and it would be extra special if you could join us.  
**

**B- someone called her ugly? Oh, Kurt, I’m so sorry. Poor girl. I’m definitely down for a cheer-up breakfast. Just text me the address and I’ll be there.**

***

Less than an hour later found Kurt and Grace walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalk to the diner where they were meeting Blaine. He hadn’t told Grace that Blaine would be there and he was excited to see her reaction when she saw him. 

”Hey,” he asked, suddenly realizing something. “Where did you find the makeup and nail polish? I had it hidden away.”

”I saw you putting it away after you did our makeup for our dance pictures,” she said, shrugging slightly. “I watched you walk down the hall and put it in that closet. Then I just opened all the boxes until I found it.”

”Huh,” Kurt replied. “I must not have been as secretive as I thought.”

”Nope,” she replied, smiling up at him.

”From now on, no more makeup without permission. Got it?”

”Got it,” she replied, swinging their joined hands between them. “Daddy?”

”Yes?”

”Can I get a hair cut?” She asked, looking up at him through her long lashes.

”Oh...uh,” he replied. “Why do you want a hair cut?” 

”I want to have hair that’s bouncy and pretty,” she said.

”Does this have anything to do with what Taylee said?” He asked, surveying her face carefully.

“No,” she said, and he could see in her eyes that she was telling the truth. “This hair is hot on my back,” she said, gesturing to where her hair was falling down to her waist. “It would be nice to have short hair and I like how it looks. Like Andrea’s hair.”

”How about this,” he replied. “After the recital we’ll talk about it again. Your hair has to be long enough to fit into a bun for that anyway. Sound good?”

”Yes,” she agreed, a small smile on her lips. 

They finished the rest of their walk in silence, as Kurt’s thoughts were overwhelmed with the idea of Grace chopping her hair off. He had been hesitant to get it cut for years now as he adored how long and beautiful it was. It was fun to style when it was long, and he was afraid of how grown up she’d look with it short. But he wanted his children to have their own autonomy, and he didn’t want to hold her back from exploring her own style.

Eventually they found themselves standing outside the diner. He could see Blaine sitting at a table inside, dressed in a floral button-down shirt and a bright blue bow tie. Kurt’s heart still skipped a beat when he saw him, as handsome as he has been as a teen, desire amplified in seeing him dressed the same way he always did back then.

”I have a surprise for you inside,” Kurt said to Grace. “Go inside and see if you recognize anyone.” 

He watched her push open the door and followed close behind her. Blaine spotted them at once and raised his hand up in greeting, smiling widely. Kurt waved back as Grace glanced around the room, trying to find someone she knew in the crowd. It only took a moment before she saw him, and when she did she took off running, with Kurt walking quickly behind.

”BLAINE!” She shrieked, as other diners turned their heads to see what the commotion was. Luckily, no one seemed to be too bothered, and he caught a few sending small smiles their way. 

By the time he caught up, Grace was being hoisted up by Blaine as she wrapped her small arms around his neck. Blaine looked wonderfully surprised at her reaction, eyes shining with joy as he made eye contact with Kurt over her shoulder. Kurt couldn’t help the way his heart pounded as he watched his daughter hug Blaine.

As soon as he’d released Grace, he wrapped Kurt in a quick hug too before the three of them sat down. 

”Blaine, I didn’t know you were here!” Grace said, sliding into the corner of the booth. “Daddy said there was a surprise and he was right, I was so surprised! Also, that is a very nice bow tie.”

Kurt and Blaine both laughed at that, Blaine touching his fingertips to the edge of said bow tie. “Thank you! And I’m glad I surprised you!” Blaine replied. “Here—I got you a kids menu and a colouring sheet.” He said, passing them over along with a pack of crayons.

”Oh thank you, Blaine!” She replied, getting right to work colouring in the tiger that filled the page. 

Once she was settled, and they had given their orders to the waitress, Blaine made eye contact with Kurt again, eyes asking a silent question. _Are you okay?_

Kurt just shrugged in response, a sad smile on his lips. “This morning was rough.” 

Blaine stretched his hand across the table and rested it on Kurt’s for a moment. Kurt smiles at the contact and they stayed like for a minute but quickly pulled away before Grace could start asking questions.

Blaine turned his attention back to Grace.

”So I hear you gave yourself a bit of a makeover this morning, Gracie.” He said, watching her colour her tiger bright blue.

”Yup!” She replied, not looking up. “Taylee said I was ugly.”

Blaine glanced Kurt and raised his eyebrow. “Taylee?” 

”Gotta love Millennial parent names,” Kurt replied under his breath, rolling his eyes for good measure.

”She said I was the ugliest, but Daddy told me I wasn’t and Taylee is just mad at something else and that’s why she’s mean to me.” 

”You are not the ugliest, and your daddy is very smart,” Blaine said, smiling at her. “So how did you get into the makeup?”

”Daddy is a terrible hider,” she said, colouring the eyes of her tiger bright pink.

”Is that so?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt.

”It’s not so much that I’m a terrible hider, it’s more that my child is a snoop. I’m going to have to rethink all of my hiding places.”

Blaine laughed, and said “That’s the problem with kids, they get into everything.”

”Yup!” Grace said from beside Kurt, causing both adults to laugh again.

***

Kurt was thoroughly exhausted by the time he got home from work that evening. The rest of the day had passed by uneventfully, but he was so wrapped up in that morning’s events that he couldn’t get much done once he actually got to work. He was incredibly relieved when he got home and found that Andrea had already made a casserole for him to pop into the oven, so at least he didn’t have to think about dinner. He insisted she stay and eat with them but then shooed her off when it was time to clean up, not wanting her to do more work than she had to, and she’d already done more than enough.

After he cleaned up, he FaceTimed his parents with the kids. They were all so excited and chattering so loudly that poor Burt and Carole could barely keep up, but they looked as thrilled as they always did to be talking to their grandchildren. 

Once they finished their conversation (with Carole insisting that yes, she would be bringing them cookies), Kurt took his phone back to talk to confirm a few details about their upcoming visit. The kids scurried off to the twin’s room but as he was getting their flight details, Grace reappeared at his shoulder. 

”I forgot to tell them something!!!” She said eagerly, and Kurt adjusted his grip on the phone so that they were both in frame, before giving up and just letting Grace hold it.

”Go ahead, kiddo,” he heard Burt’s thunderous voice sound from the phone.

“Daddy and I went for breakfast today and I had waffles and a milkshake and Blaine was there...”

“Wait...did you say Blaine?” Burt asked, and Kurt could see his brow furrowing in confusion. “Is that a friend of yours or something?”

”No, he’s Daddy’s friend!”

”I see...and was this friend of your Daddy’s wearing a bow tie?” He asked looking over to where Kurt was determinedly NOT making eye contact.

”Yes, of course! Blaine is always wearing a bow tie when we see him.” Well...shit.

”I see...hey kiddo, pass the phone back to your Dad. Love you.”

”Love you too!” And the she skipped away, not knowing that she had just dropped a grenade on his life.

”Something you want to tell us, Kurt?” Burt asked sternly. 

”Not particularly,” Kurt said, still avoiding eye contact and focusing instead on the awful floral wallpaper on the wall behind Burt. At this point Carole stood to excuse herself and left Kurt, unfortunately, alone with Burt. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Burt to know that he was building a relationship with Blaine again, but a part of him was nervous that he wouldn’t approve. And Burt’s approval means everything to Kurt.

”Kurt...which Blaine are we talking about here?”

”I don’t know, Dad,” Kurt sighed. “How many Blaine’s do you know?”

“The real question here is how many Blaine’s do _you_ know?” He said, raising his eyebrow.

”Ugh fine,” Kurt gave in. “The same one you know. Blaine Anderson.”

”I see,” Burt said, and his expression was difficult to read through the screen, making Kurt nervous. “I didn’t even know you two still talked to each other.”

”We don’t...well, we didn’t,” Kurt replied, twisting his hands in front of him. “We ran into each other at a charity event last month and we’ve been catching up.”

”’Catching up?’ Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” 

”Oh my god, Dad, no! We’re just friends.”

”You sure about that?” Even through the screen, Burt could see right through him.

“This is the honest truth: we’re taking it slow, but we have a real date set in a few weeks from now. We’re trying not to rush into anything, really getting to know each other again, you know? It’s been twelve years after all.”

”Hmm.” Was all Burt said, and Kurt was nervous.

”Well, go on! Tell me how you really feel,” He said, eager to get the lecture over with if it was coming.

”Look Kurt, you’re a grown man. You can make your own decisions, and you don’t need me telling you what to do,” Burt said sternly.

“Dad, you know how much I value your opinion.” Kurt bit his lip. He didn’t realize how badly he wanted his father’s approval until he was watching his stern face through the phone screen. 

Burt sighed and offered Kurt a small smile. “I always liked Blaine.”

Kurt allowed himself to feel relieved for a moment before bracing himself for the “but” he knew was coming.

”But,” there it is. “He cheated on you Kurt. Have you truly forgiven him for that? Can you find it in your heart to trust him again?”

”I have forgiven him, Dad,” Kurt replied, finally making eye contact with him through the screen. “Blaine had a moment of weakness at a time in our relationship when I wasn’t being the best boyfriend. And it’s not like he had this long, secret affair. He cheated one time, and then he hopped on a plane to tell me. I don’t know, Dad, I just really feel like I trust him not to do something like that again. We’re adults now.”

”True,” Burt agreed. “I just don’t know if I can forgive him for breaking your heart all those years ago.”

”Maybe you can’t,” Kurt replied, nervous to vocalize the thoughts he’d been secretly thinking for a few days now. “My heart has been broken before, Dad. Blaine broke my heart when he cheated, and Justin broke my heart when he died. So instead of getting wrapped up in the idea of him breaking my heart twelve years ago, instead focus on how he might help me mend it again.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all the amazing comments and kudos!  
> Just wanted to let you know that I uploaded a one shot that’s a continuation of the first time scene in Chapter 8! It’s called “Leap” and you can find it in this series tag.  
> I plan on doing other one shots in this universe once I’m finished with this story so stay tuned!

**Thursday, May 9, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine was just settling on his couch with a bowl of popcorn (a reward to himself for finishing his marking) when he got a text from Kurt. 

**K- thanks again for coming to breakfast with us this morning :) It made Gracie so happy to see you!**

Blaine heart swooped happily. 

**B- I’m so glad! I was happy to see her...and you of course ;)**

**K- ;)**

**B- what are you up to?**

**K- watching the Spice Girls movie currently. After a fantastic Spice Girls reference fell on deaf ears, I decided the kids need some exposure to 90s culture.**

**B- hahaha omg, that movie is great**

**K- it’s so bad but so good LOL the kids have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but they like the music! What about you?**

Blaine snapped a photo of his popcorn bowl and sent it.

**B- rewarding myself for finishing my marking!**

**K- love it! Looks yummy.**

**B- what’s happening in Spice World now?**

**K- they’re about to give another performance!**

**K- oh my god, Blaine.**

**K- oh no.**

**B- what?!**

**K- there are nearly naked men dancing on the screen!! All I see are bare asses! I’ve exposed my children to bare asses!**

**B- HAHAHAHA**

**K- it’s not funny!!! I’m the worst!!**

**B- that was always my favourite scene ;)**

**K- I totally forgot about it, omg. Alice just said “why are there so many bums in this?” Now we have to have the “don’t show your bum in public talk.” *facepalm*  
**

**B- I can’t stop laughing rn**

**K- that was horrifying, I’m horrified.**

**B- I mean, are you really surprised?! So many of their songs are about sex.  
**

**K- ...what?**

**B- You can’t be serious! “2 become 1?” “Do It?” Sex songs.**

**K- wow, I’m dumb.**

**B- your innocence, even at almost 30, is still so cute ;)  
**

**K- I think “embarrassing”** **is the word you’re looking for here.  
**

**K- turning off this movie before I scar my children any further and taking them (and myself) to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?**

**B- I’m counting on it. Sweet dreams.**

**K- have lovely, bare ass-filled dreams ;)**

***

**Friday, May 10, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine was just packing up his work bag after another long Glee practice when his phone rang on the table next to him. To his delight, it was Kurt. 

”Hey, Blaine! I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Oh no,” Blaine said, smiling into the phone at the sound of Kurt’s voice. “Just leaving work now.”

”You’re still at school? It’s 5:30!” 

”Long glee practice,” Blaine said, shrugging despite knowing that Kurt couldn’t see him as he locked up the choir room. “Nationals is only a week away, no time for rest.”

”Ahh that makes sense,” Kurt replied. “Well I must confess, I’m not just calling you to catch up, I have an ulterior motive!”

”Oh?” Blaine asked, waving to some of the teachers as he walked down the hall, still stuck in their classrooms on a Friday evening panic-marking.

”I’ll let Jack fill you in, hold on,” Blaine heard some distinct rustling on the other end of the phone as he presumed it was being passed over to the three-year-old.

”...Blaine?” Came a quiet voice in his ear.

”Hey, Jack!” Blaine replied brightly, smiling into the phone at his sweet little voice. “What’s up?”

”Would you come have dinner here? My house?” He said, sounding timid and unsure, Kurt’s voice murmuring encouragements in the background.

”Dinner?!” He replied, trying to sound as excited as he could possibly muster. “At your house?! I would be honoured!”

”Really?” Blaine could practically hear Jack’s smile through the phone. “Will you come right now? We’re making pizza!”

“Yes, of course! Can I talk to your Daddy now?” More muffled noises combined with excited screeches filled Blaine’s ears, and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“You should see the excitement in this room right now,” Kurt said when he finally got the phone back.

”Okay, but that was the cutest invitation I’ve ever received!” 

”The twins were upset when they heard that Grace got to have a special breakfast with you, so I suggested that we have you over tonight. Are you sure you’re not busy?”

”I had a hot date with a beer and my sofa, and I think that can be rescheduled.”

***

Twenty minutes later found Blaine walking through Kurt’s front door to a stampede of excited children. His legs were engulfed in hugs and he could barely make out anything they were saying except “pizza” and “finally.”

”Apparently you took far too long to get here,” Kurt said, rounding the corner and taking in the sight of Blaine, unable to move an inch.

”I came straight here!” Blaine protested, reaching down and ruffling Jack’s hair. He allowed Grace to take his hand and lead him down the hallway to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Kurt had laid out 5 round individual pieces of pizza dough. He had all kinds of toppings to choose from, from healthy options like spinach, to the more desirable ones like pepperoni and sausage. 

“Wow, this is quite the spread!” Blaine exclaimed, helping Kurt lift the kids onto the island stools.

”We like to have ‘fun Friday,’” Kurt explained. “Sometimes we go to a restaurant or get takeout, or sometimes we’ll make something fun at home. Tonight the kids wanted homemade pizza.”

“You’re such a fun dad,” Blaine said, taking in the spread appreciatively before making eye contact with Kurt. “Though I can’t say I’m surprised.”

Kurt blushed under Blaine’s gaze and busied himself setting an individual slice of dough in front of each kid, smiling at Blaine as he set about helping him.

Helping the kids spread their pizza sauce and toppings, wiping hands with a damp washcloth, and listening to their chatter about school that day while he and Kurt maneuvered around the kitchen was shockingly domestic. It caught Blaine off guard at how comfortable it felt, slipping into this role without a second thought. He allowed himself to imagine that this was his life with his husband and his children, spending the evening cooking together as a family. It made Blaine’s heart ache to think that this was what he lost, what he was missing out on. 

“Blaine?” He was startled out of his musings by Jack pulling on his sleeve. “Will you come see our room?” 

”Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t give you a proper tour when you first came over!” Kurt exclaimed as he slid the pizzas into the oven. “I just finished re-doing them last month!”

The kids led Blaine down the hallway before stopping at the first door on the right. 

“This is MY room,” Alice stated, pushing open the slightly closed door. 

”It’s my room, too,” came Jack’s small voice from where he stood next to Blaine. 

Alice was way ahead of them already so Blaine gestured in front of him and said, “Show me the way.”

Jack smiled widely before taking Blaine’s hand and leading him through the doorway. The room looked like a page in a catalogue, the only indication of it being actually lived in was the smattering of toys on the plush carpet. The room had two small beds with black iron bed frames, a light pink duvet on one and a light grey one on the other. The duvets were folded to almost halfway down the bed revealing white and grey striped sheets, and each had a big fluffy pillow that matched their duvet. The wall behind the beds had light grey brick wallpaper that looked so real that Blaine had to walk over and touch it to confirm that it wasn’t. Over each bed was a letter in a classic typewriter font, an “A” over the pink bed and a “J” over the grey one. 

“Wow,” Blaine said. “This looks amazing Kurt! It seems like your eye for fashion also translates to interior decorating.”

Kurt blushed at the compliment. “Thank-you,” he said. “It’s hard to decorate a room for two children with such different tastes so I made it as neutral as possible.”

”Blaine come look at my toys!” Jack exclaimed, pulling Blaine over to his white wooden toy box in the corner of the room. “This is where I keep all my dinosaurs.”

He pulled out a small box labeled “Dinos” and started going through his collection with Blaine. This went on for a few minutes before Grace got impatient.

”Daddy, it’s my turn to show Blaine my room now!” She said, pulling on Kurt’s sleeve.

”Okay, Jack, Blaine needs to finish his tour but you can go through more of your dinosaurs after dinner.”

”Okay,” Jack said, looking sad but still gathering the box under his arm to carry with him.

The small room was painted a light blue with another brick wallpaper wall, only this time in white. The bed had a wooden white bed frame with a blue floral ruffled duvet, and a fluffy blue throw was draped over the end. Over the bed hung a script “G,” and a little bedside table with crystal handles was next to it. There was a little white desk with a fluffy blue stool shoved into one corner of the room, and the top was littered with crayons and colouring books. 

”What a beautiful room!” Blaine exclaimed appreciatively, smiling down at Gracie. The twins had lost interest now that their room was done, and had wandered back to the family room. Blaine walked over to her little desk and picked up one of the pictures. “You’re so good at colouring!”

”Thank you,” she said, smiling at him. They walked around the room for a little bit longer before they found themselves back in the hall. They poked their heads into the bathroom, which Blaine had seen already, before Kurt pushed open the door to his own room. 

The room was large, much larger than the average master bedroom in Manhattan, which Blaine supposed was the result of his swanky vogue cheques. The bed had a black iron bed frame that was similar to the ones in the twins’ room. It had a white duvet cover with a collection of throw pillows in neutral beige tones. The walls were a grey-beige, and beautiful abstract artwork hung over the bed. His nightstands on both sides of the bed were in a dark wood, and the vanity opposite was in the same shade of wood. The vanity had a small grey stool shoved underneath, and the mirror had built in lights. There was a collection of hair and skin products littering the top, and a framed photo of the kids in one corner. Kurt’s closet was huge and overflowing with clothes, which was exactly what Blaine had expected.

”This is so nice, Kurt,” Blaine said honestly, walking around and looking at some of the smaller details. “These nightstands are gorgeous!” 

”Thanks,” Kurt replied, watching Blaine with a curious expression on his face. “I suppose it was wishful thinking buying two, but they of course add symmetry.”

”I don’t think it was wishful thinking,” Blaine said boldly, making eye contact with Kurt. “You never know what could happen.”

”True,” Kurt replied, holding Blaine’s gaze and blushing at the implication.

***

After a lively dinner and a tour of Jack’s dinosaur collection, Blaine found himself sitting alone on the couch listening to Kurt argue with Alice who was putting up quite a fuss about bedtime. 

”DON’T WANNA!” She screeched, showing off her rather impressive set of lungs.

”Alice Ray Hummel, I swear you will not be watching any movies tomorrow if you don’t lie down right now.” It had been twenty minutes of back and forth and the exasperation was evident in Kurt’s voice.

”NO BED. NO!” She yelled back, crying now.

Blaine couldn’t help but giggle listening to Kurt trying to negotiate with the three year old.

”I know you’re tired, please go to bed. You don’t have to sleep, you just have to rest. Maybe tomorrow morning we can have pancakes.”

”Pancakes?” Came her voice, quieter now.

”Yes. But there will be no pancakes if you don’t go to bed right now,” Kurt replied, sternly.

Silence followed, and Blaine assumed that meant that Alice was finally climbing into her bed. He heard murmuring voices whispering quiet “good nights” and he waited for Kurt to reappear again.

“I need a whole bottle of wine after that,” Kurt said as he entered the living room, immediately going to his fridge for the bottle. “Top up?”

”Yes, please,” Blaine answered, holding up his nearly empty glass for Kurt to refill. 

”They’re starting to show their true colours now,” Kurt laughed. “Your newness is wearing off apparently.”

Blaine laughed with him. “I don’t mind, it was cute listening to her argue with you.”

”It didn’t feel cute,” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes. “I swear, the attitude on that one. Three going on thirteen.”

”Being headstrong will serve her well later in life,” Blaine said, sipping from his wine. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

”Of course,” Kurt replied curiously.

”Her name, ‘Alice Ray.’ How did you come up with it?” 

”Oh,” a strange expression flickered over Kurt’s face, but he quickly tried to recover. 

”Oh, um,” Blaine said quickly, feeling like he’d crossed a line that he didn’t know was there. “Please don’t feel like you have to answer that if it makes you uncomfortable.”

”Oh no, it doesn’t!” Kurt said, resting his hand on Blaine’s leg to reassure him. “I just haven’t thought about it for awhile.”

Blaine waited patiently while Kurt gathered his thoughts. What he had thought was a fairly innocent question had brought on a very surprising tension into the room.

”All the kids have the same middle name,” Kurt said, finally. “It’s Justin’s name actually. His full name was Justin Ray Kvasnicka. When we got married, we kept our own last names, no hyphens or anything like that. Justin had always hated his last name because it was difficult to spell and no one ever pronounced it right. But, he was already well known in the Broadway community so he kept his name as it was, and I was also trying to build my career and I wanted to do that as a Hummel. It wasn’t really a problem until we decided to have Gracie. Justin was always adamant that she take my name because it was easy to spell and easy to pronounce. I wasn’t totally happy with that decision because she was a product of both of us, and I wanted her to be able to see her connection to both her parents. I suggested we hyphenate— Grace Kvasnicka-Hummel—but Justin said that would be child abuse,” he paused to laugh, eyes shining with tears, but still sparkling with happiness at the memory. “But I was adamant that she have a piece of him in her name too so we agreed she would take his middle name. Ray is pretty gender neutral now and it flowed well—Grace Ray Hummel. When we decided to have another we agreed that all future kids would have the middle name ‘Ray.’ So here we are.”

”Wow,” Blaine said. “There’s honestly something so cool about all of them sharing his name. It’s a great connection to him. He sounds like he was an awesome guy.”

Kurt nodded in agreement, clearly lost in thought.

”Do you have any pictures of him?” Blaine asked, suddenly nervous at the request. Was this weird? Should he be asking that?

Kurt looked surprised. “Of Justin?”

”Yes,” Blaine said, tapping his fingers on his knee nervously. “I’ve seen a few around the apartment but I guess I’m just curious.” 

”I have plenty of albums,” Kurt smiled. “But wouldn’t that be weird for you?”

”It doesn’t feel weird to me,” Blaine replied honestly. “He’s a part of you, a part of your story. I guess I just want to see more of the man who helped shape this version of you.” 

Kurt smiled at Blaine and stood up from the couch, walking over to the bookshelf in the corner of the room. The bottom shelf was lined with photo albums and Kurt carefully selected three different ones and carried them over.

”This is an album from our trip to Mexico, the trip he proposed on,” Kurt explained, turning to the first page. “It was the first trip we ever took that wasn’t to Ohio, or a weekend out of the city or something like that.”

The first picture was a selfie of the two of them on a beach. They were both beaming, eyes hidden under dark sunglasses. Justin’s olive skin was a dark contrast to Kurt’s pale features, and his hair was a very dark shade of brown. His exposed upper body showed sharp muscle definition, and his teeth were white and straight. Blaine could see why Kurt fell for him. 

Kurt turned the pages slowly, describing parts of their trip, restaurants they went to, locations they visited, people they met. Blaine felt the strangest sense of content listening to Kurt talk, rather than the jealousy he was fearful would show itself. Kurt stopped on the photo of the moment Justin proposed to him. They were standing on the beach with the sky behind lit up in a deep orange sunset, and Kurt’s hands were clasped to his chest.

”He paid the concierge to hide behind the lawn chairs and take pictures,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes affectionately.

”I love seeing you so happy,” Blaine said honestly, looking up at Kurt. “I wondered all the time what your life was like, if you were happy. It’s nice to see that you found someone who made you feel safe and connected.”

”I did,” Kurt said, tearing up slightly. “He was everything I needed in my life at that time. It wasn’t a perfect relationship by any stretch, but it was amazing.”

”I’m honestly glad to hear that. I worried about you, worried that I might have damaged something when I broke your heart the way I did back then. It makes me happy to see that I didn’t ruin you forever.”

”Don’t be silly,” Kurt said, resting his hand on Blaine’s knee again. “We broke each other’s hearts, it wasn’t just you. You’re pretty amazing though—sitting here and looking at photos of us and not reacting badly.”

”I genuinely feel happy for you,” Blaine said, shrugging. “I feel a little jealous of him, sure. But he made you happy and that’s all that matters.”

Kurt closed that album and picked up the next one. 

”This is Gracie’s baby album,” he said, turning to the first page.

Blaine was delighted to see pictures of baby Grace, all rosy cheeks and fluffy hair. The picture of Kurt holding her in the hospital was his favourite, his eyes shining with tears, smiling in a way Blaine had never seen him before.

”I can’t even explain what it’s like to hold your child for the first time,” he said softly. “It’s like a missing piece of your heart that you didn’t know was missing just clicks in to place. I couldn’t believe how much I loved her right from the start.”

”She’s beautiful,” Blaine said, running his finger over the picture. 

“She is,” Kurt agreed.

They flipped through the whole album, seeing photos of family members and friends holding her, watching her grow through different stages. Pictures of her clinging to a coffee table as she took her first steps, some of her sitting in the grass in a floral bucket hat, and some of her sitting on the floor next to piles of toys. Every photo in this album beamed with happiness, genuine joy in the eyes of everyone in every picture, and it was filled right through until the last page.

The next album was different. 

”This is the twins’ book,” Kurt said opening it slowly. “I only got around to putting it together last year, it was too painful to even think about it before then.”

The first picture in the album was of Kurt with a baby in each arm. He was crying, but this time the photo radiated sadness rather than joy.

”It was only two months after Justin passed that they were born,” Kurt explained, watching Blaine’s expression carefully. “It was the strangest feeling that day. I was so in love with them right away, but that feeling was tainted with sadness. Our surrogate was one of Justin’s best friends, and the two of us just cried the whole time. It was a very somber day.”

All the photos in this album had an air of sadness about them. No one seemed joyful in the way they had in Grace’s book, there was a thread of sorrow connecting each picture.

”I barely took any photos myself that year,” Kurt said, running his finger along a picture of the twins laying on the ground in matching outfits. “Thank god for my Dad and Carole. They took thousands and gave them all to me. I would’ve had next to nothing if I didn’t have them.”

”God, how did you do it?” Blaine asked, feeling himself get emotional as he looked at a photo of a clearly exhausted Kurt, smiling a small smile as he posed with all three children. “How did you move on and raise three tiny children alone?”

”Well, I wasn’t alone,” he said honestly, reaching a hand up to wipe the tear that had escaped from Blaine’s eye. “Without my parents and friends I couldn’t have done it. Some days are so hard still. There are so many moments when I wish I could turn to my partner and ask for advice, decide what to do together. But it’s just me, and I do the best I can.”

”You’re amazing,” Blaine said.

Kurt brushed off the compliment, but he still blushed faintly as he gathered up the albums and put them away. 

“So,” Blaine said, deciding it was time to change the subject to something a bit lighter. “I was wondering if you’d come and watch my glee club perform at nationals next weekend? I was able to get two extra tickets and I thought you could come and maybe bring Gracie? I figured it would be too long and boring for the twins, but Gracie might be old enough to enjoy it.”

”Oh wow,” Kurt exclaimed, face lit up with excitement. “I would love to! Gracie would feel so special to get to come watch with just me! And it would be so fun to go to another glee club nationals.”

Blaine’s heart swooped happily, and he hesitated for only a moment before hugging Kurt tightly.

”I’m so glad you’re back in my life, Kurt,” he said into Kurt’s neck, voice thick with emotion.

Blaine heard Kurt swallow before replying, voice shaking slightly, “Me too.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Saturday,** **May 18, 2024**

KPOV

”So, let me get this straight. You’re kind of dating, but not really dating? You’re pre-dating? And to do that you’re going to a show choir competition?”

”Yes,” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes. “Well, the competition is only one of many pre-dating activities. I’m not sure why that’s so hard to understand?”

It was the Saturday of the competition and Kurt was dropping off the twins at Santana and Britanny’s apartment. They hadn’t had much time to catch up when the two came over for dinner on Sunday, and they had to skip their coffee on Monday because the studio was having a parent meeting. Brittany had recently come back from tour, and the three were sitting around the kitchen table having coffee while the kids watched a movie, catching up before Kurt had to leave.

“Doesn’t seem very wanky to me,” Santana replied, smirking. 

”What’s wanky?” Came Alice’s voice from the couch, her eyes still glued to the screen but apparently her ears were turned up. 

”Oh, wanky is when you—“ Brittany started to reply before Kurt rushed to stop her.

”What Aunt Santana said is something you shouldn’t say.” He said quickly, sending a ‘shut up now’ glance across the table. “Could you try your best not to corrupt my children please?”

”Hey, I didn’t know they were listening!” Santana protested.

”Take it from me, they’re ALWAYS listening,” Kurt replied. “Anyways, we’re taking things slow. But we have a real date soon.” 

”I just don’t understand the hold up,” Santana replied. “Blaine can help you with that itch you need scratching. You know, the one you can’t itch yourself?”

”Oh did you get a mosquito bite? I read that mayonnaise helps,” Brittany piped in, making to stand from the table to presumably get the mayonnaise. Santana grabbed her arm before she could get up, shaking her head slightly. Brittany just shrugged, and turned her head to see whatever the kids were watching on the screen.

”I don’t need him to scratch any itches for me,” Kurt said, lowering his voice down to an octave that he knew was low enough to be drowned out by the movie. “I’m not a sex-starved animal. I don’t see why you have a sudden fascination with my sex life? You haven’t cared this much in years.”

“Because you haven’t shown this much interest in another human being in years!”

”Ugh,” Kurt replied, feeling a blush spread across his cheeks. “Fine, yes, I have found him pretty...uh...distracting lately.”

Santana grinned wickedly before replying “So hop on that! I don’t understand why you’re waiting?”

”It’s just what’s right for us right now,” Kurt answered, fiddling with the handle of coffee mug. “We need to take a little time to get to know each other again.”

”That’s what dating is for you doofus!” She said, smacking him on the arm. “What’s the real reason?”

”That is the real reason!” Kurt argued, avoiding her gaze.

”Oh please, don’t insult my intelligence like that,” she raised her eyebrow expectantly.

”How do you get everything out of me?” Kurt replied in dismay. “Okay, fine. I’m nervous. It’s just been so long since I’ve been with anyone. I feel like I need to take it slow for my own sanity.”

”Now that I understand,” Santana replied, briefly resting her hand on his arm. “But Kurt, this is Blaine we’re talking about. The boy took your virginity, it’s not like he’s a stranger.”

”I know,” Kurt answered, still fidgeting with his mug. “It’s just nerve-wracking, that’s all.”

”I get it, I do,” Santana said, voice sounding more serious than it had all afternoon. “But if you can’t take a few risks for the boy who was your first love, who can you take risks for?”

***  
An hour later found Kurt and Grace walking into the theatre where regionals were being held. The entire journey over he had obsessed over Santana’s words. Was he playing it too safe? He already knew he wanted to be with Blaine, so why the delay?

But even as he wondered that his heart tightened with the anxiety of opening himself up to that again. Was he ready to be vulnerable with another person? To trust Blaine again with his heart, his mind, and his body? What if it didn’t work out and the kids became too attached? They would be devastated, and that would make the breakup ten times worse.

His shook his head to clear it as they entered the lobby, determined to enjoy the day without getting wrapped up in his own feelings. The Cedar Hill glee club was set to hit the stage at 4:30 with awards following at 6:00. They were about half an hour early so they browsed the gift shop before heading in to take their seats. 

Kurt sent Blaine a quick text of a picture of Grace beaming next to the big banner that said “Show Choir National Competition 2024.” 

**B- my heart can’t handle all the cuteness.**

**K- she’s VERY excited! She wanted me to buy her a $50 sweatshirt for the “memories” but we settled on a keychain.  
**

After the keychain purchase, Kurt and Grace found their seats in the auditorium. Grace was nearly vibrating with excitement, and he kept having to remind her to stay seated as she tried desperately to spot Blaine.

”Where is he?” She asked, craning her neck and squinting her eyes.

”He’s probably back stage with his glee club, we’ll see him after!” He reassured her, smoothing down a few loose hairs that were escaping from her braid.

”Up next, from right here in New York City, Cedar Hill High School’s Sing-Sational!” Came an announcement overhead. The entire theatre exploded in applause, an apparent benefit of the home field advantage. The lights dimmed, and Kurt found himself holding his breath in anticipation. 

”The theme this year is ‘one word,’” Blaine had explained to Kurt the day before over coffee. “You pick one word and submit it, and all your songs have to have that word be in the main part of the song. It was a challenge for sure, but it was fun! And don’t even try to guess our word, I want it to be a surprise!”

The stage was dark, but the outline of a single girl standing in the middle of the stage was still visible. The moment the music started Kurt knew what was coming. 

_I let it fall, my heart_

_And as it fell, you rose to claim it._

The girl was fantastic, and she sang the song beautifully. It was immediately apparent to Kurt what word Blaine had picked, and the chorus confirmed it.

_I set fire, to the rain._

As the girl neared the end of her solo, her fellow club members started to fill the risers at the back. The soundtrack effortlessly transitioned into next song, and it was done so well that the song choice caught him off guard.

_It’s raining men, hallelujah, it’s raining men, amen!_

Their singing was phenomenal and their dancing was the perfect amount of campy with technique, simultaneously making the audience laugh while also cheering for the tricks they were pulling off. Only a glee club led by Blaine could get away with performing the most outrageous song ever written and somehow doing it with style.

When the final song started, Kurt had to resist the urge to get up and dance along, only giving in and standing when the audience around him started to. He reached down and scooped Grace up into his arms so she could still see, and they danced together.

_I’d rather be dry but at least I’m alive!_

_Rain on me, rain, rain._

The whole theatre was standing and dancing along when Kurt finally caught sight of Blaine, standing at the bottom corner of the stage, looking up at the kids with the biggest smile on his face. He turned and his eyes found Kurt’s in the audience.

The moment they made eye contact, a giant boom sounded from the stage, and multiple confetti cannons exploded millions of pieces of glittery blue confetti onto the stage and into the audience. Kurt held Blaine’s gaze as Grace squealed in delight in his ear, watching as the glee club continue to perform in the ‘rain,’ and holding her hand out to catch it. His heart was beating uncomfortably fast, but he ignored it and smiled at Blaine, raising his eyebrow in question. The corner of his lips turned up in a small smirk, and he shrugged at the confetti that was continuing to rain down on them before reaching up to straighten the tie he had worn for the occasion.

That small gesture took the air out of Kurt’s lungs, and thousands of memories flooded his consciousness, memories of another tie in another city entirely. He had forgotten the way Blaine fidgeted whenever he found himself in a “real” tie, particularly that striped Dalton monstrosity. He only fidgeted when he was anxious, and anxiety always seemed amplified in that uniform, the desire for perfection overriding all other conscious thought. With one gesture, Kurt suddenly realized what his heart had been trying to tell him all along. Blaine, straightening his tie as he turned to watch the finale, stood there as a perfect mix of the man he was now and the boy he used to be. No matter how long he delayed the inevitable, Kurt was falling and he was falling hard.

_I hear the thunder coming down won’t you rain on me?_

“But if you can’t take a few risks for the boy who was your first love, who can you take risks for?” Said the memory of Santana in his ear.

_Rain on me._

_***_

_”_ Kurt! Gracie!” A voice cut through the crowd of teens and parents milling in the lobby. Blaine was surrounded by his glee club with a first place trophy standing almost as tall as he was. 

”BLAINE!” Grace shrieked and dropped Kurt’s hand, dodging people in the crowd to get to him. Kurt gathered his courage and tried to forget the revelation he had just had about Blaine. They had time to explore that later.

Kurt caught up right as he was scooping her up into his arms, and the clench of longing in his heart grew tighter. Blaine kissed her forehead before lowering her to the ground, pulling Kurt into a hug next. Kurt could feel the confused stares of the teenagers watching, whispering and staring at Grace as if they were trying to figure out if Blaine had a secret child or something.

“Good job singers, you are all very talented,” Grace said, not in the least bit intimated. Blaine snorted, and tugged on the end of her braid affectionately.

”Yeah, you guys were great,” Kurt added. “And wow, that arrangement was spectacular!”

”That’s all Mr. A,” a tall boy said from the back row.

”Well, I’m very impressed,” Kurt said, surprised to see a blush forming on Blaine’s tan cheeks. “That win was well deserved.”

”They were amazing, weren’t they?” Blaine said turning to the kids and grinning widely.

”So big victory plans?” Kurt asked, watching them lose interest in their teacher and his friend, and instead start taking turns posing for pictures with the trophy.

“Yeah, our tradition is to go to a diner near the venue after every competition. We’re going to leave in about ten. Do you two want to join us?”

”I’d love to, but I have to go relieve Santana of the other two monsters. She’s been...um...busy since Brittany came home last week and I’m sure she’s eager for me to get back so she can back to her priorities.”

Much to Kurt’s horror, Grace chose that moment to chime in.

”Yeah,” she said as if she’d been involved in the conversation from the beginning. “Aunt Santana is probably pretty wanky lately.”

Kurt wasn’t sure what was more horrifying, the fact that apparently that word had imprinted on all his children’s ears, or that she had somehow managed to unknowingly use it in the right context.

The look on Blaine’s face was one of both horror and delight, the shocked laugh infectious. Thankfully none of the teens seemed to be paying them any attention but Kurt was mortified nonetheless.

”Grace...what do you think that word means?” Kurt asked trying to keep a straight face while Blaine hid his own smile behind his hand.

”Well, Aunt Santana said that coming here to this show was not wanky,” she explained, “And because she’s not at the show, that means she’s at home being wanky.” 

Blaine couldn’t hold back his snort of amusement and Kurt struggled to contain his own smile at the accidental innuendo.

”Okay, but remember what I said? That’s a word we shouldn’t say, because it’s a bad word.”

She frowned before she replied, “Tell that to Aunt Santana.”

”Trust me, I will,” Kurt answered, sharing a look of amusement with Blaine. ”Anyways, let’s go and let these big kids have fun.”

”Wait, did you ask Blaine to scratch you?”

“What?” Kurt asked, thoroughly confused by the question.

”Aunt Santana said you were itchy!” She said, sounded exasperated at his apparent lack of memory. “And she said that Blaine could help itch you! So you don’t have to do it yourself!”

Kurt was quite certain that his face had never been as red as it was at that moment. There were a million things he could have said, but he settled for a simple “oh my god.”

Blaine was nearly doubled over in laughter at this point, tears streaming down his face.

”Well, I’m thoroughly embarrassed,” Kurt said. “Aunt Santana needs to work on her child filter.”

”I really hope she doesn’t,” Blaine replied, finally catching his breath. “Besides, how would I know about your itches otherwise?”

”I have mosquito bite, don’t read into it,” Kurt said quickly, knowing that he wasn’t being very convincing.

”Same,” Blaine replied, a small smirk playing on his lips.

***  
The whole journey home Kurt listened to Grace chatter about the show and the performances she’d seen. They were meeting Santana and Brittany at Hummel apartment because the two were planning on going to a bar by Kurt’s that evening. Grace was so excited to tell them about her day, and it made Kurt happy that he got to spend such a special day with her...even if she embarrassed the shit out of him.

Kurt tried hard not to listen to the nagging part of his brain that was chanting Blaine’s name over and over. He checked his calendar on his phone. Three weeks until their date. He could last three weeks, right? Three whole weeks. Why was he feeling resentful of the deadline he had set himself? Bested by his own maturity, yet again.

When they finally arrived home, they found that Santana and Brittany had let themselves in with the spare key they kept for emergencies. They were in the kitchen unpacking cartons of Chinese food, and the sound that erupted when all three kids came together again was deafening. Apparently the twins had had an equally fun time going to the movies that afternoon.

”Okay, Lady Hummel, spill,” Santana asked later as they were cleaning up after dinner, watching Brittany play some weird dancing game with the kids in the family room.

”Spill what?” 

”Oh come on, don’t pretend that I can’t see that something happened. Tell me!”

”Okay, well,” Kurt replied, turning his back to stack plates, though it was really to avoid having his face betray him. “I did sort of realize something.”

”Well don’t leave a bitch waiting,” Santana said, clasping his shoulder and turning him to face her. Damn, she knew all his tricks. 

”I think...I think I might be falling for him again. Like not just a crush but like...falling falling.”

”Duh,” Santana replied. “What have I been saying all along?”

Kurt felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

**B- is it wrong that I left that diner knowing full well that they were all planning on sneaking booze tonight at their own little glee party? I just pretended like I couldn’t hear them. And now I’m sitting at home wondering if I should be more concerned.  
**

”Is that him?” Santana asked, narrowing her eyes at the phone.

”None of your business!”

**K- well are they going to be somewhere safe?**

**B- oh yeah, Sarah’s 20 year old sister is chaperoning and according to Sarah she’s a “total nerd” so I think they’ll be fine. Plus they’re planning on all sleeping there and no one has a car to drive anyway?**

**K- all those kids sleeping in a New York apartment?**

**B- no, all those kids in a New York penthouse.**

**K- oof, got it. So they’re safe, don’t worry!**

”Is he at home? Is he texting you from home?” Santana said, wearing that wicked grin of hers.

”Uh, yeah? Why?”

”Go! Go see him! Right now!”

”Now? You’ve seemed to have forgotten that I have,” he gestured to the family room, “responsibilities!”

”Britt and I got this, go!” 

”You’re crazy!”

”No, you’re crazy! Go kiss him! You know you want to!”

”I can’t!” Kurt cried, wringing his hands in front of him. “We have a date set already! We have rules!”

”Kurt,” she said, rolling her eyes. “YOU made those rules! Break them!”

Kurt paused for a moment, considering his options. He had Blaine’s address, stored his phone weeks ago. Could he do it?

He didn’t give himself time to think about it.

”I won’t be long.”

Fifteen minutes later found Kurt standing outside of Blaine’s apartment, trying to psych himself up. What was he doing? What was he going to say? Why was he throwing his very strategic plan out the window? But the thought of Blaine’s face today, a mix of youthful joy and knowing maturity, urged him to take a step forward.

He took a deep breath and knocked, and he listened to the sound of Blaine’s footsteps approaching. When the door finally swung open, Blaine stood there, looking adorably casual. He was wearing navy sweatpants and a black Dalton t-shirt, and he had a pair of glasses perched on the end of his nose.

”Kurt?” He asked, glancing into the hallway, eyes wide with confusion. “What—?”

Kurt stepped towards Blaine before he lost his nerve, reaching his hands up and grabbing Blaine’s face instead of answering. He hesitated for a only a moment, blue eyes locked on hazel, before he brought their lips together for the first time in twelve years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this chapter:  
> “Set Fire to the Rain” -Adele  
> “It’s Raining Men” -The Weather Girls  
> “Rain on Me” -Ariana Grande and Lady Gaga
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Take this as your warning that the rating will be coming into effect soon, but I don’t want to say when because it’s more fun if it’s a surprise!


	14. Chapter 14

**Saturday,** **May 18, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine wasn’t sure how long they stood there, lips locked together, hands stumbling for purchase on cheeks and hips, but it didn’t take long for Kurt to start backing him into the apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

Blaine had never been more caught off guard than he was when he opened his front door to find Kurt standing there. He had just finished changing and was planning on flopping down on his couch to watch trash tv, but he couldn’t say he was upset about the surprising turn of events. There was a little voice in the back of his head that was screaming at him to stop, to ask questions, to check-in and figure out what had changed in the span of just a few hours but that voice was drowned out by his desire, and he wasted no time pushing Kurt up against the door. 

Kurt moaned into his mouth at the sudden movement and threaded his hands into Blaine’s hair. His fingertips massaged into Blaine’s scalp, and Blaine shivered at the movement. It was a strange feeling, kissing him again all these years later. Kurt’s lips were familiar against his own, soft and moving in a way that only he did, but there was something different too. It was the kind of confidence that came with experience, came from years of making out with different people. Kurt didn’t hesitate to let his tongue seek entrance in Blaine’s mouth, a move that he very rarely initiated himself when they were younger. This new Kurt bucked his hips, no signs of hesitation or embarrassment, and his confidence ignited something uncontrollable in Blaine.

In response to this realization, he worked his thigh between Kurt’s legs, no longer thinking about boundaries and talking, and was rewarded by the feeling of Kurt’s length, straining against the jeans he wore that was now rubbing against Blaine’s thigh. He knew that he himself was almost unbearably hard at this point and he rubbed himself against Kurt in return, which resulted in both men moaning in unison. 

The sound of their voices mingling together seemed to snap them both out of their trance, and Blaine dropped his hands from where they were gripping Kurt’s waist and stepped back into the hallway.The only sound that came from the dark hallway now was their heavy breathing, both trying desperately to grasp some sense of control over the situation.

”Wow,” Blaine finally huffed out, letting his gaze trail up and down Kurt’s body. He was wonderfully rumpled, clothes creasing in a way that he would have never allowed under normal circumstances, and his erection was prominent, though Kurt was trying to discreetly adjust himself. “Leave it, Kurt. Nothing I haven’t seen before after all.”

Kurt’s eyes were glancing hungrily at Blaine, lingering on the erection that he too was sporting, ridiculously obvious in his sweatpants, and he suddenly laughed.

Blaine felt his eyebrows rise in amusement as he asked, “Share with the class?”

”It’s just seeing you like this and what we just did,” Kurt said, still smiling, those his eyes had turned somewhat serious. “It just reminds me of all the times we’d get each other off up against my bedroom door because we thought that if we did it that way no one would be able to come in and see what we were up to.”

”I mean it wasn’t a bad strategy,” Blaine shrugged, and laughed along with him. “It’s a lot harder to hide if someone opens the door and we’re laying on a bed with our dicks out. At least against the door there was little chance that anyone would be able to SEE anything. They wouldn’t be able to even come in.”

“Teenagers can be very creative when it comes to sneakily getting off,” Kurt said, laughing as he nervously made eye contact with Blaine, a deep blush staining his cheeks. They were quiet for a few more moments, and neither seemed to know what to say. Blaine had so many questions swirling in his brain, and he couldn’t seem to settle on what to ask first.

”So, moving on,” Blaine said finally, making a show of checking his watch. “Is it June 8 already?”

***  
Ten minutes later found them both sitting on the couch, each with a glass of white wine in their hands. Kurt was fumbling with the stem of his glass, his anxiety evident even before they sat down. Gone was the sexually confident man that kissed Blaine without a second thought and instead was replaced with a Kurt that Blaine was very familiar with. He had insisted on getting alcohol in his system before having this conversation but now that he had it, he seemed to be having trouble finding the right words.

After a few more minutes of silence, Blaine decided to be the one to break it. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it, because believe me, I did, but what just happened? I thought we were waiting, getting to know each other again.”

”Yes, but then I realized that I didn’t want to wait anymore,” Kurt said, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, keeping his eyes downcast. “Seeing you today, in your element...you just looked so happy, and I wanted to be apart of that.”

”I want you to be,” Blaine said, taking Kurt’s hand in his own. “Kurt, I want that more than anything. But...are you sure you’re ready? There must have been a reason that you wanted to wait for awhile before jumping back into a relationship with me.”

”There was,” Kurt replied. “Is. I’m afraid.”

Blaine felt a deep aching in his stomach. “What are you afraid of?” He asked, stroking his thumb along the back of Kurt’s hand.

”Everything,” Kurt said, finally looking up and making eye contact with Blaine. “I’ve had two serious relationships in my life. One ended in infidelity and the other ended in death. I closed myself off to the idea of ever having love again because I didn’t want to get hurt. I forgave you a long time ago, but you still hurt me. And I wasn’t sure that I could trust you not to do it again.”

”I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you,” Blaine replied, desperate to make Kurt understand. “Sometimes we hurt each other, that’s just how relationships are. But I can promise that I will always be honest with you, to communicate better. I promise that I will never let myself get to a place where I make a decision like that ever again.”

”I know that, I do,” Kurt said, eyes shining with unshed tears. “I know you aren’t the same person you were at seventeen years old.”

”I’m not sure if this will make you feel better or worse,” Blaine said, hesitating slightly. “But I haven’t cheated in another relationship since. Cheating isn’t me, I just had a brief lapse in judgement.”

”I believe that,” Kurt said, smiling reassuringly though his eyes were still sad. “It didn’t seem like you, even when it happened.”

He fell silent for a moment before speaking again. 

”I also have three children to think about. I don’t want them to get hurt either. They already like you so much, I can’t imagine how attached they’ll be once they find out we’re together. What if things don’t work out between us? What happens then?”

”I can’t promise that everything will work out,” Blaine answered, comforted by Kurt’s hand squeezing his. “But I can promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure that it does. And I will be there for them in whatever capacity you want me to be. I really like them Kurt,” Blume sad, feeling his voice catch in his throat. “It would be an honour to be in their lives.”

Kurt leaned over and pressed his lips into Blaine’s. This kiss was different, full of promise and longing, but not desperate in the way it had been earlier. Kurt pulled away, and ran his fingers over Blaine’s jaw.

”They really like you,” he said. “Gracie will be so excited when we tell her you really are my BOYFRIEND.”

”Is that what we are?” Blaine asked, feeling the hope igniting in his chest. “Boyfriends?” 

Kurt laughed and said, “It’s such a weird term when you’re a grown-ass adult. But yes, if you want that.”

”I really do,” Blaine replied, giving in and kissing Kurt again. He could sense that there was more that Kurt wanted to say, so he pulled away and looked at him expectantly.

“I’m also afraid to be vulnerable again,” Kurt said quietly, almost in a whisper. “It’s been so long, Blaine. And I don’t just mean emotionally vulnerable, but physically too.”

Kurt was blushing and avoiding Blaine’s gaze. He looked embarrassed when he spoke again.

”I haven’t had sex since Justin,” he said, biting his lip. “The casual thing just wasn’t for me, and I realized that it was just...um...easier...to take care of it myself.”

“That’s hot,” Blaine smirked, trying to ease Kurt’s embarrassment.

“Ugh shut up,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. “I’m being serious here!”

”Look,” Blaine replied, making eye contact again with a very red-faced Kurt. “I don’t care if it’s been awhile for you. That doesn’t matter.”

”I honestly feel a little nervous to be seen like that again. It’s been so long and it’s such a vulnerable position to be in.”

”Well we don’t have to rush that,” Blaine replied, eager to ease Kurt’s mind. “We don’t have to hop into bed together right away just because we’ve done it before.”

Kurt was clearly relieved, and he took a small sip of his forgotten wine. “I don’t think I’ll want to wait very long. But I might be a bit awkward at first.”

“Awkward Kurt is my favourite Kurt,” Blaine laughed. “Your innocence was so hot back then, you have no idea.”

”Shut up!” Kurt laughed. “You don’t mean that!”

”Uh yes I do!” Blaine laughed along with him. “All of my teenage masturbatory fantasies involved ‘showing you the way’ so to speak.”

”Oh my god,” Kurt hid his face behind his hands. “That’s so embarrassing! I was so nervous about sex and exposing myself like that. I watched sex scenes in movies with my eyes covered, and those aren’t even real!”

”I thought it was cute,” Blaine laughed, pulling Kurt’s hands off his face. “Though I did worry that you might never let me touch you.”

”I can see why you’d think that,” Kurt replied, laughing with him. “But even though the idea of sex made me nervous, my stupid body still seemed to want it so bad. I was terrified that you’d find out that I was masturbating all the time, which is dumb because everyone does it. But I was so embarrassed that I was getting off thinking about you, which is also dumb since you were my boyfriend. I had my own fantasies but I’m sure they were hazier than yours. I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted but I did know that I wanted it to be you.”

Blaine surged forward and pushed his lips against Kurt’s, revelling in the feeling of being able to do this whenever he wanted to now. Kurt responded enthusiastically, opening his mouth and granting Blaine entrance. They kissed for a few minutes longer before Blaine reluctantly pulled away, not wanting things to get out of hand and respecting the boundaries that Kurt had set.

“What was that for?” Kurt asked teasingly.

”It’s just so hot to hear you talk about this stuff so openly. You were so shy back then but I wondered. I wondered if you ever touched yourself and if you thought of me. Even at the peak of our sexual relationship you were still somewhat closed off to me, and I would have never dared to ask you because I knew it would make you uncomfortable.”

”You’re right, it would’ve,” Kurt agreed, shrugging slightly. “But I’m sorry if you felt like I was shutting you out, that wasn’t my intention. I just had a lot of shame about my sexuality, even in my imagination. Sure, I was confident strolling around school in my elaborate outfits, but there was something about acting on it that made me nervous. That’s why I never really wanted to talk to you about it before. I preferred you just taking the lead and letting me quietly follow.”

”And you don’t feel like that anymore?” Blaine asked, overwhelmed by all these things that Kurt had never shared with him before.

”No,” Kurt said, smiling softly. “Our relationship definitely helped, and then when I came here everyone was so sexually liberated that it became easier for me to accept that side of myself. So you have permission to ask me sex things, though I can’t promise I won’t get embarrassed! I still feel like that old version of myself sometimes.”

“This is a whole new world,” Blaine laughed. “You’ve come a long way from that boy who kicked me out of his bedroom for just mentioning S-E-X.”

”Ugh,” Kurt covered his face again. “Must you remind me of how embarrassing I was?” 

”It was endearing, don’t worry,” Blaine said, once again pulling Kurt’s hand from his face. “So, should we figure out our ground rules for the present?”

”Well, I feel like this goes without saying but are we exclusive?” Kurt was looking nervous again. 

”Of course!” Blaine replied eagerly. “I haven’t so much as looked at another man since you waltzed back into my life.”

”Okay good,” Kurt said, visibly relieved. “I wanted that too but damn, adult relationships can be so complicated.”

“What about the kids? Are we going to tell them?”

”Eventually,” Kurt said. “I feel like we should wait until it’s more serious, you know, just in case something happens and it doesn’t work out.”

”I agree,” Blaine said, and he did. He didn’t want to cause them any confusion. “Are you still okay with me being around them?”

”Oh yes, of course! But just as Daddy’s friend for now. Are you sure you’re ready to be involved with a single dad? It’s not all sunshine and rainbows you know.”

”Of course I am,” Blaine replied. “I’m a teacher after all, I understand kids. I’ve taught elementary before too and almost all my volunteering was with the littles.”

”I wondered about that,” Kurt said. “You seemed pretty comfortable with them right away.”

Blaine shrugged. “I’ve always loved kids. The only reason I teach older kids because I have a passion for English literature and I love to share that with my students. You can’t do that when your students are seven.”

”Okay, so are we telling our friends?”

”Well my friends don’t know you really, so I guess that’s up to you. Do you want the crew to know?”

”Well considering Santana and Britt are at my house watching my kids while I’ve been here for well over an hour tells me they probably already know. And anyway, Santana can see right through me.”

”I’m fine with that. What about our families?”

“About that,” Kurt said, laughing again. “Grace has already let it slip that we’ve been hanging out again. My dad was confused, but I think he’ll be supportive. He’s actually coming to visit with Carole for the recital, so you’ll definitely be seeing them soon.”

”Oh god,” Blaine said, suddenly overcome with anxiety. “Does he hate me?” 

”Of course not!” Kurt said quickly, taking Blaine’s hands in his own. “He understands that what happened is in the past, don’t worry.”

Not worrying was easier said then done, but Blaine forced the issue out of his mind for now. That’s when another thought occurred to him. 

”Oh man, Cooper is going to be ridiculously excited. He was so mad when we broke up the first time.”

”Really?” Kurt looked surprised. “I didn’t think he liked me all that much.”

”He did, and he especially liked the me I was when I was with you. You made me better.”

And just like that, Kurt’s lips were on his again.

***

Kurt stayed for another hour, giggling and drinking wine and reminiscing on their younger days. They didn’t do more than kissing, but Blaine was content to just be in his company, letting his hands wander over the appropriate parts of Kurt.

Eventually Kurt had to leave, the responsibilities of parenthood calling him home, but it was not without another lingering kiss in the doorway.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who’s left a review or kudos on this story! This story is so important to me and it means so much to hear that you enjoying it!

**Sunday, May 19, 2024**

KPOV

**B- Good morning <3**

Kurt had been lying in bed with the kids watching cartoons when he heard his phone vibrate on the nightstand. It was their tradition on Sunday mornings to spend the morning lying in bed watching tv and it was some of Kurt’s favourite times with them.

When he unlocked his phone and saw that it was a text from Blaine, his heart leapt into his throat. He was still feeling raw from their night of confessions, but it didn’t stop the smile that spread over his face when he saw Blaine’s name.

**K- Good morning to you too <3**

**B- how’s your morning been?**

Kurt held up his phone and snapped a photo of the kids, all sitting/laying on the end of his bed, enthralled by whatever cartoon was on at the moment. He sent it to Blaine with no caption and set his phone down to wait for his reply. Only seconds later it buzzed again.

**B- stooooop, they’re so cute wtf. Also, Alice’s morning hair is EPIC.**

Kurt smiled at Blaine’s response and before he could think twice, sent another photo, a selfie this time, of himself grinning at the camera, proudly showing off his own sleep-mused hair. He was shirtless (as he often was when he slept) and yeah, maybe he was trying to tease his boyfriend (boyfriend!) a little. 

**K- she must’ve got that from me ;)**

Immediately he started panicking a little, worried he was being TOO forward, but before he could spiral, he got another message.

**B- oh my god.**

**B- Kurt you’re so hot in the morning, Jesus.**

**K- ahh you make me blush ;)**

**K- I want a pic of you now.  
**

**K- also I’m with my children, so keep it PG, thx.**

The photo he got back was worth the momentary panic. Blaine was also still in bed, a pair of glasses perched on his nose and his hair was wild. He was shirtless too, and Kurt willed his mind not to wander too far down that hole, painfully aware of his current company. 

**K- wow.**

**B- ;)**

**B- so any big plans for today?  
**

**K- just a lazy day I think. Might take the kids to the park in a bit. Would you want to join us? And then just come over here before Sunday dinner with everyone?**

**B- yes! How about I bring a picnic? Have lunch at the park?  
**

Kurt couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face at Blaine’s suggestion. He felt like the younger version of himself, a hopeful teen romantic fully enamoured by his first boyfriend. It made him ridiculously happy that Blaine liked his children and actually wanted to spend time with them. 

**K- that sounds great!**

**B- what kind of sandwiches do they like?**

**K- we’re big fans of ham and cheese over here. Can I bring anything?**

**B- just a picnic blanket. I think I have everything else! Meet you in the lobby of your building at 12:30?**

**K- can’t wait :)**

***  
An hour later found Kurt standing in the kitchen, a wooden spoon in his hand, and a splattered chocolate mess in his kitchen. 

”You have to be a bit more careful with the mixer, Al,” he said to Alice, who was looking sheepishly at the mess on the counters and the chocolate in her hair. 

“Sorry, Daddy,” she said, and she did look genuinely apologetic. She had been standing on a chair next to Kurt while he made brownies for their picnic, and she had turned on the mixer when his back was turned. “I just wanted the brownies to be done faster.”

”It’s okay, just don’t turn on the mixer again without asking first.” Kurt replied, rubbing a smudge of chocolate off her cheek with his thumb.

The old Kurt, the one who still lived somewhere deep within him was screaming at the mess. But the new Kurt, the one who gained patience during fatherhood took a deep breath and continued with his brownie-baking task. He knew that baking with a three-year-old was bound to result in messes and this was hardly the first time that he to deal with a clean-up like this. The other two kids were not interested in baking, so Kurt was revelling in spending a little time with just Alice. 

Once the brownies were in the oven and Alice was cleaned up, Kurt scrubbed at the mess. He was halfway through when his phone rang from where it was plugged in by the couch.

”Gracie, can you tell me who’s calling?” He asked, arms soaked to his elbows in the kitchen sink. 

”It’s Aunt Rachel!” She yelled back, using the picture to figure out who it was.

”Can you answer it please?” Kurt asked, as he dried his hands off on a towel before rummaging around for his AirPods. Once he found them he headed over to where Grace was chattering away to Rachel.

”You should have SEEN the mess Alice made today! There was chocolate everywhere!” She was saying as Kurt approached. 

”Oh my goodness!” Rachel exclaimed over the speaker, politely listening to Grace’s chatter.

”Hi Rach,” Kurt said when he got close enough before taking the phone from Grace. “It’s been quite the morning over here.”

”Ah, and it’s about to get worse! I have a bone to pick with you Kurt Hummel!” Came her cry over the phone, and Kurt rolled her eyes at her tone. He was so not in the mood for Rachel’s drama.

He put his AirPods in and shooed Grace away so he could finish cleaning the kitchen. 

“What did I do?” Kurt asked, plugging his phone back in and walking back to the disaster zone.

”Tell me why I had to hear from SANTANA—,” she began, pausing for dramatic effect, “that you are sexing up Blaine!”

”Satan is mistaken, I’m not—“ he dropped his voice to a whisper before continuing, “ _sexing_ up anyone!” 

“That’s not what she tells me! She said you were at Blaine’s last night!” She cried, accusatorially. 

”Okay, yes, I was at Blaine’s but we weren’t having sex!” He hissed back, dunking his hands back into the sink of water.

”Sure...” She replied, her tone of voice taking on a teasing tone. “Tell me what’s going on!”

”Okay, I was going to tell you tonight in person, but since you’ve AMBUSHED me...“ he started, pausing to make her squirm a little. “Blaine and I got back together!”

”OH MY GOD!” Rachel shrieked, and Kurt jumped at the sudden increase in volume. “I was hoping this would happen! Tell me everything!” 

So Kurt brought Rachel up to speed on everything that had happened over the past few days, the flirting, the deep conversations, the discussions of the past. She was just as excited as Santana and Brittany had been the night before.

”But we haven’t told the kids yet, so keep it zipped when they’re around,” he was saying as he finally finished up in the kitchen. “I don’t want to get their hopes up until we know if it’s serious.”

”Since when do you get into relationships that are anything but serious?” Rachel replied.

”Okay true,” he answered as the timer for the brownies went off. “We’re both pretty serious about it, but I just want to wait a bit. They’ve never seen me in a relationship before, especially since Grace has basically no real memory of Justin, besides what I’ve told her.”

”I get that,” Rachel said softly, her tone sad even through the phone. 

“I really want this to work out, Rachel,” Kurt said quietly back. “I’ve loved him since I was sixteen. But it’s so scary.”

”I know,” she replied. “But what an amazing second chance this is. For BOTH of you.”

***

Kurt didn’t tell the kids who they were going to the park with, and he thoroughly enjoyed their reaction when they saw Blaine waiting in the lobby of their apartment building, a wicker picnic basket in his hand.

”You actually HAVE a picnic basket?” Kurt exclaimed, laughing as he watched Blaine try to hug all three kids at the same time. 

”Ah, it’s a long sad tale of a terrible ex and a picnic attempt, but we’ll save that for another day,” Blaine said, eyes shining with joy as the kids jumped around him, talking so fast it was impossible to keep up.

Kurt’s heart clenched uncomfortably at the topic that neither of them had dared to bring up yet—exes. It wasn’t that it was an off limits conversation, Kurt was more than open to talking to Blaine about the men he’d dated in the past, but he found that Blaine often steered the question in another direction when they ventured into that territory. Blaine knew of Kurt’s past (he had only had two serious boyfriends and Blaine himself was one of them) but Kurt had no idea what Blaine had been up to dating-wise before this. 

He pushed the thought out of his mind and filed it away for a discussion another time. The group of them spilled out onto the street, with Grace politely complimenting the doorman on her way past, much to Blaine’s amusement.

”Daddy?” Came a small voice from beside Kurt as they walked out into the bright sunshine. Jack was pulling on Kurt’s sleeve and gesturing for Kurt to bend down. Kurt crouched so he was eye level with Jack and let him whisper into his ear. 

”Will Blaine let me hold his hand?” He whispered anxiously. 

”Would you like me to ask him?” Kurt replied, loud enough for Blaine to hear him as Jack nodded in response. Blaine looked puzzled as Kurt straightened up, but Kurt smiled reassuringly. “Jack was wondering if you would hold his hand on the way?”

Kurt felt a rush of affection at the way Blaine’s eyes lit up at the invitation. 

”Of course you can!” Blaine replied, reaching his outstretched hand in Jack’s direction. Jack was beaming with happiness as he accepted it, and the two began to lead the pack on their walk to the park. 

Grace and Alice were chattering away on either side of him as they walked but Kurt was fixated on Blaine in front of him holding hands with his son. Every once and awhile Blaine would turn and catch Kurt’s eye, smiling so big it lit up his whole face, and Kurt felt strangely overcome with emotion. This. This is what had been missing from his life. A partner. Another adult to share secret smiles with, to hold the extra hand that he wasn’t able to, and to listen along to rambling and nonsensical stories. Kurt had been so unexpectedly thrown into the role of “single dad of three” that he put his head down and accepted it as it was, never allowing himself to dwell on the what-ifs. It had been almost four years since Justin’s passing, and it was like he had forgotten what companionship had felt like.

Before he knew it, they were walking into the park and finding a shady spot to lay down the large blanket Kurt had brought. They were close enough to the playground that the kids were itching to climb, but hunger won out.

As they sat eating their sandwiches, they chatted about school and friends. There was never a shortage of conversation topics with Kurt’s kids, and he loved that about them. Alice was in the middle of telling an elaborate story of a trip to the playground with preschool where they saw real dragons (seemed unlikely, but no one discouraged her) when Grace interrupted.

”Daddy! Look over there!” She said, pointing her little finger at another family that was playing together on the playground. The couple was two men and their young son, and they were grinning and laughing as they pushed him on the swing.

”That boy has two Daddies!” She exclaimed, looking up at Kurt and frowning slightly.

”Yes, he does,” Kurt replied, wondering where on earth she was going with this.

“I have two Daddies,” She said matter-of-factly, chewing on the edge of her thumb as she turned to look at Blaine. “But one Daddy went to heaven.”

Kurt gently coaxed her thumb out of her mouth before exchanging a glance with Blaine. Blaine’s eyes were wide with surprise, but he didn’t look upset. 

”Is that so?” Blaine asked, smiling down at her. “Do you want to tell me about him?”

“He was a really nice Daddy,” she began, putting down her sandwich. “He played games and watched movies, and he loved us so much. But he couldn’t stay with us because he was too sick.”

”Wow,” Blaine said, brushing a piece of hair that had fallen on her face out of her eyes. “He sounds like the best!”

”He was,” she said solemnly. “He didn’t get to meet Jack and Alice, but we have lots of pictures of heaven Daddy that they get to see.” The twins nodded on either side of her before she continued. “Sometimes people need to go to heaven, and it’s so sad because Daddy was so sad that he had to stay here alone.”

Kurt could feel the tears welling up in his eyes but he blinked them away, trying instead to feel pride of how Grace handled the situation instead of sadness that she had to deal with it at all. 

”It is so sad,” Blaine said, allowing his gaze to lock with Kurt’s for a moment before turning back to Grace. “But you’re so lucky that you have a special Daddy who can watch over you.”

”Yes,” she agreed, picking up her sandwich again. “But I wish he could be here.”

***  
A little while later the kids ran off to play, and Kurt and Blaine stayed on the blanket to watch them. 

“She’s incredible,” Blaine said, breaking the silence and gesturing over to where Grace was sliding down a twisty slide. “You should be so proud of her.”

”I am,” Kurt replied, still feeling slightly sad from their conversation earlier. “We’ve spent some time talking about it, which I’m sure you can tell.”

”Yes,” Blaine agreed. “It’s good that you talk to them about it.”

”I didn’t want it to be a taboo subject. It’s actually something my dad started doing when he was living with us. He would sit Grace down and talk to her about Justin and how he was supporting us from heaven. I was too sad at that point to even think about talking about him to Grace, but Dad really helped make her comfortable with the idea.” 

”It’s so good that she’s comfortable talking about it.”

“Did it make you uncomfortable?” Kurt asked, tearing his eyes away from the kids for a moment to make eye contact with Blaine. 

“He’s their dad, Kurt,” Blaine shrugged. “Whether he’s alive or not, he’s an important part of their lives and how they were brought into this world. I’m actually honoured that Grace felt comfortable talking to me about him.”

”She doesn’t bring it up to just anyone,” Kurt agreed because it was true. “She must trust you.”

”That makes me so happy,” Blaine smiled. 

They fell silent again, watching the kids run around with other children that they had made instant friendships with. It was always so amazing to Kurt that children so easily made connections with each other, finding friends wherever they go. 

“I always wonder if I’m doing enough,” Kurt said softly, voicing the innermost thoughts that were always haunting him.

Blaine frowned before reaching over and taking Kurt’s hand in his own. “What do you mean?” He asked.

”About Justin,” Kurt said, feeling instant comfort at the weight of Blaine’s hand in his. “I’m terrified that one day he’ll fade completely. That there will come a time when we don’t talk about him, that the kids will forget he even existed. I try to talk to them about him whenever I can, but I also don’t want their lives to be defined by his death.”

“I can understand that,” Blaine replied, stroking his thumb over the back of Kurt’s hand.

”I feel like nothing I do is right,” Kurt whispered, confessing what had been weighing on his mind for years. “If I talk about him too much, I worry that the kids will be haunted by his memory, that everything they do will forever be defined by the fact that they had a parent who died young. But if I don’t talk about him enough I worry that I’m doing him a disservice. Like I’m letting his memory die with him.”

”I know there’s no right answer here,” Blaine said, voice tainted with a deep sadness. “But I think the way you’re handling this is working for you and your family. They’re happy kids Kurt. They know they have a father who died, and they are still happy and comfortable talking about him. And I think it’s inevitable that his death will have an impact on their lives. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

”You’re right,” Kurt replied, wiping at the few tears that had escaped from his heavy eyes. “I know that logically, especially as a person who lost a parent at a young age. But it’s so different because I remembered my mom. They don’t remember anything but what I’ve told them, so it’s a completely different situation that I’m finding hard to navigate.”

”Well if it’s any consolation,” Blaine said, smiling as he wiped away a few stray tears on Kurt’s cheeks, “I think you’re doing a fantastic job.”

Kurt glanced over to where the kids were busy playing, and confident that they were distracted, placed a quick kiss on Blaine’s lips. 

”I’ve wanted to do that all day,” he confessed, watching Blaine’s lips as he pulled away. “Justin would laugh so hard if he knew that the first person I dated was you.”

”Really?” Blaine laughed, “Why’s that?”

”Well, I have a pretty pathetic dating history,” Kurt grinned, suddenly overwhelmed with the memory of this particular conversation with Justin. “He knows that you were my first love and how horrible it was for me when we broke up. He was the first person who I felt comfortable with after that, and he would find it hilarious that the first person I decide to open myself up to again is not even a new person. Before he was sick, he would actually try and encourage me to reach out to you.”

”Really?” Blaine said, and his bemused expression mimicked what Kurt had felt when Justin first brought it up. 

”Yes, there was just so much about our relationship that we left unfinished. I think he wanted me to have closure. This is probably not what he meant, but I think he would find it really funny that I couldn’t even find a new person, just crawled back to you.” Kurt shrugged, laughing at the absurdity of the idea that Justin is somehow watching this play out and finding humour in the situation.

”Wow,” Blaine laughed with him. “He honestly sounds too good to be true.”

”Don’t let him fool you, he was not without his faults,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. “He had a short fuse, we were always arguing about little things that didn’t really matter. We never had any crazy, life-changing arguments, but we bickered like crazy. Sometimes I feel like we were both a little too stubborn, like our personalities clashed.”

Blaine hummed in response, and let his eyes drift back over to where the kids were playing on the swings. Kurt suddenly felt brave enough to ask the question that he’d been wondering about.

“So what about you? What does Blaine Anderson’s dating history look like?” Kurt asked, trying to seem nonchalant, as if the question had only just come to him.

Curiously, Blaine flushed a deep red at the question, and he kept his eyes firmly facing forward instead of down where Kurt had shifted to lay on his stomach. 

“Oh...um,” he began, picking at this nail beds and still adamantly avoiding eye contact. 

”Uh, you don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable,” Kurt said quickly, trying to seem understanding though his insides were twisting uncomfortably at Blaine’s hesitation.

”No,” Blaine said, finally looking down at Kurt, face still blushing a deep red. He readjusted himself so that he too was laying on his stomach, and he shifted his gaze so that he was looking away from Kurt. “I just don’t want you to judge me.”

”Judge you?” Kurt was confused, and he watched as Blaine continued to fiddle with his nail beds.

”I’ve made a lot of bad choices,” Blaine said softly. “And they don’t align with your own ideas about sex and relationships.”

”Blaine, you’re an adult,” Kurt said, resting his hand on Blaine’s forearm. “I won’t judge you for making adult decisions about you own body.”

”Well, I’ve had four relationships that I would consider ‘serious.’ One was you, the second was this guy John that I went to college with and we dated for about a year during my senior year. Then there was Tristan and AJ who were both post-college and those relationships were both less than a year.” 

”Okay,” Kurt said as he waved his hand to encourage him to continue. 

”I was happy in those relationships but in the end they just weren’t right for me. But that’s not the part I’m nervous about telling you,” Blaine paused, chewing on his bottom lip and sighing. “You aren’t going to approve of this, but...I’ve had a lot of casual sex with a lot of different people.”

Kurt frowned. “Why do you think that I would judge you for that?”

“Well...when I say a lot, I mean it. My ‘number’ so to speak is really high and I think you’ll look at me differently once you hear it.”

”I’m honestly a little offended that you think that,” Kurt said honestly, sadness bubbling up in his chest knowing that Blaine was afraid to share with him. “I know that I have a complicated relationship with sex. But that doesn’t mean that I judge everyone else for not having the same hang-ups that I do.”

Blaine didn’t say anything, but he did turn to look at Kurt again. His hazel eyes looked hopeful at the direction this conversation was going in.

”You don’t have to tell me your ‘number’ if you don’t want to,” Kurt continued, grateful to have Blaine’s eyes on him again. “That’s personal information and it’s yours to keep and share only if you feel comfortable. But let me tell you that there is no number that you can say that will make me look at you differently,” Kurt felt himself blush but he forced the next words out of his mouth. “I actually find it kind of hot that you are so comfortable with your body and your sexuality. It’s what attracted me to you in the first place.”

”Really?” Blaine asked, now smiling a little. 

”Yes, of course. When we met I was so ashamed of the sexual side of me that I could barely touch myself let alone even think about touching other people. But you were so confident and comfortable with that side of yourself and it was so sexy. And it’s pretty hot to hear that you’ve been free with your body as an adult...as long as you were safe of course.”

”Oh always,” Blaine said hurriedly, propping his head up on his hand, elbow resting in the grass on the edge of the blanket. “And I get tested regularly.”

”That’s good,” Kurt smiled, and he was surprised to realize that he didn’t even feel jealous of Blaine with all those other men.

”Forty-three,” Blaine said quietly, still looking a bit embarrassed.

”That’s not even that bad!” Kurt replied, eager to ease Blaine’s embarrassment. “That’s only like...3.5 people a year when you divide it by the number of years we’ve been apart.”

”Huh, I guess it’s not so bad when you put it like that.” Blaine said, looking thoughtful. “So what’s your number? Two?”

”Four actually,” Kurt said, smirking at the look of genuine surprise on Blaine’s face. 

”Kurt Hummel, I’m scandalized!” He said, feigning shock though his eyes were still questioning.

”I dated a couple people casually in between you and Justin,” Kurt shrugged. “The relationships were never super serious, and they didn’t go beyond quick hand jobs here and there, but they still count to me.”

”The old Kurt Hummel would never do sex without love,” Blaine said, tilting his head and laughing. “I’d say that’s progress.”

Kurt laughed in agreement before saying, “Okay, now tell me about the picnic basket.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Friday, May 24, 2024**

BPOV

Blaine had been on cloud nine ever since he and Kurt decided to try again. He had been practically floating around school and he was sure that people were starting to notice. His suspicions were confirmed when Tom cornered him in his classroom at lunch that afternoon. 

”Spill,” he said, pulling up a chair to an empty desk and plopping his lunch bag on top of it. “You’ve been walking around this school like you just won a million dollars and I’ve held off asking you about it to respect your privacy but I can wait no longer.”

”I was going to tell you eventually,” Blaine grumbled, pulling out his own lunch from his bag. “But it’s all so new, I don’t want to jinx anything.”

”Jinx what? Come on, you’re killing me here!” 

”Kurt and I are officially back together!”

”Dude, no way!” Tom said, unwrapping his sandwich and grinning at Blaine. “That happened fast.”

”I don’t know if it can be considered fast if we’ve dated before?” 

“Of course it’s fast, you didn’t talk for over a decade and he’s literally a dad now. Not exactly the same person he was when he was sixteen.”

”I suppose you’re right,” Blaine shrugged. “But it feels like no time has passed.”

”I’m happy for you man,” Tom smiled at him. “But are you worried at all to be dating someone with such a complicated past? The man’s a widow, that definitely makes things more difficult.”

“I don’t think it will be easy. But it’s Kurt, you know?” Blaine shrugged. “I’m willing to work for it.”

Tom nodded in agreement, taking a bite out of his sandwich, chewing thoughtfully for a moment before asking, “Do the kids know?”

“No, not yet. We’re waiting until things are a bit more serious. Letting them get to know me as me, and not as ‘Daddy’s boyfriend.’”

“That’s a really smart idea. Do you think you’re ready to be someone’s stepdad?”

”I feel like ‘stepdad’ might be jumping the gun a bit,” Blaine frowned. “We’ve only been back together a week!”

“Yes but when you get involved with a single parent that’s something you have to consider. They typically don’t go for casual, especially since you’re already involved with the kids. You have to ask yourself if you’re serious about this because children make everything more complicated.”

“Why do I feel like you’re trying to talk me out of this? Blaine asked, agitation evident in his voice. “Would it kill you to just be happy for me?”

“Woah,” Tom replied, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’m not trying to talk you out of it. I just want to make sure you’ve considered all that.” 

Both men ate in silence for a few minutes, and Blaine wondered whether Tom was going to leave and finish his lunch somewhere else. Tom had a habit of being the voice of reason, he was highly logically and looked at all possible outcomes of a situation before jumping in. Blaine was the opposite, his rose-coloured glasses view of the world often would get him in trouble when he jumped into things head first without considering the consequences. Blaine was usually open to Tom’s slightly pessimistic worldview as it helped to ground him in reality when his dreams threatened to run away with him, but he was feeling particularly sensitive about Kurt.

”Look,” Tom said eventually, breaking the tense silence. “You’re happier than I’ve ever seen you, and I’m so glad. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know,” Blaine replied, allowing the frown to drop off his face. He knew that Tom was just looking out for him. “And I know you’re right. It’s just a little scary to hear those things that I’m worried about vocalized. I have thought of those things. Wondered what it would be like to suddenly be someone’s stepdad. To be intimate with someone who’s last partner died in a really tragic way. But it’s risk I have to take.”

”I can respect that,” Tom said, offering him a small smile. “And for the record, I do think this is a good thing for you. I just wanted to make sure you’ve considered all the possible outcomes and it seems like you have.”

”I really have,” Blaine nodded earnestly. 

“Good...now when can I meet him?”

***  
Blaine’s good mood was not dampened by Tom’s hesitation, but he couldn’t help but dwell on all that he had said. To tell the truth, Blaine had been worrying about what a future with Kurt might look like. 

They had talked about the future, scribbling notes back and forth about marriage and babies. Part of Blaine ached with the realization that the future they wished for, the one that dominated their fantasies, had already been achieved by Kurt. He had been married, had children, lived in peaceful domesticity in a way that Blaine longed to do. It wasn’t so much that Blaine had given up on finding that for himself, but rather that he never had found a man he was serious enough about to settle down and take that risk with. And now Kurt was here, with in an opening in his life perfect for Blaine to slip right into. But did he want that? Did he want to be a replacement husband and father?

One thing he knew for sure was that he loved Kurt. He knew it deep in his bones that the love he had for Kurt didn’t fade with time, but simply simmered in the background, subconsciously effecting the way he moved about in his life. He didn’t realize that Kurt was still having that kind of impact on him until he was thrust back into the spotlight in Blaine’s life, and it forced him to recognize that he had never really left. 

He knew it would be hard. The trauma of losing their father so young would have an undeniable effect on the lives of Kurt’s children, even if they were too young to remember. And Blaine would become an easy target for anger, for slamming doors and name calling. Was he ready to take on that kind of challenge? Even as he thought about it, he laughed at the absurdity of considering all this so soon into his relationship. But Tom was right, getting involved with a widowed father means that he has to be aware of what he was getting himself into. 

Despite the heaviness in his mind, Blaine still arrived home that evening feeling cheerful. He hadn’t heard from Kurt that day, except to exchange good morning texts, but he was excited to hopefully spend some time with him this weekend. He hummed as he made himself dinner, and later pulled out his guitar to play a few songs before heading to bed.

He was just climbing in when his phone vibrated on the nightstand.

**K- we didn’t get to talk much today! How was your day?**

**B- not bad! Only two more weeks of school and everyone has basically checked out for the summer, so we’re sticking to fun activities to wrap everything up. What about you?**

**K- work was UNBELIEVABLY busy. And then when I got home Alice had a tantrum that lasted for almost two hours, all while Jack was crying because he had a bad day at school, and Grace was trying desperately to tell me about an argument she had with her friend. It’s so hard to be the only one sometimes.**

Blaine felt a pang of sympathy, thinking of Kurt alone in his apartment, trying to keep up with three little kids.

**B- I’m sorry, if you had a rough day :(**

**K- Just talking to you right now is making it better. And now everyone, including me, is in bed so it’s all good.  
**

**B- Well I’m glad to hear it!**

**K- So I wondering if you’d be interested in resuming our little question and answer game? We still have a lot of getting-to-know-you left to do.**

Blaine had been planning on watching a bit of tv in bed before going to sleep but of course Kurt’s idea is much better.

**B- of course! Do you want to go first?**

**K- sure. What is your craziest memory from college?**

**B- oh god hahaha. Well, one night I went out to the clubs with a group of people and I got so wasted that I actually hooked up with a girl.**

**K- WHAT.**

**B- hahahahahahaha**

**K- are you being serious right now?!**

**B- yes! I fingered her and everything.**

**K- oh my god. Who? How? Also ew?  
**

**B- She was one of my closest friends and we had joked about it before. Drunk Blaine was always a little curious** , **and I had once asked her all these questions about vaginas and straight sex, and she said she’d be down if I ever wanted to try it out. Well this one night I was so drunk and I asked if we could.  
**

**K- I am completely shocked right now...how was it?  
**

**B- um...wet?** ****

**K- EW**

**B- LOL I have to say, the self-lubrication is convenient. But it definitely solidified my gayness. She thought it was hilarious, me poking around trying to figure it out and then deciding that it was a no from me.**

**K- oh my god, that’s so funny. That’s a good friend.**

**B- yeah, I should text her! We’ve barely talked since I left Chicago.**

**K- so your friendship wasn’t ruined forever?**

**B- thankfully no. She touched my dick too, so that makes us even.** ****

**K- I have never, ever, in my life, wanted to see or touch a vagina. But power to you I guess.  
**

**B- hey, no judging!  
**

**K- no judging here! To each their own.  
**

**B- okay, your turn. Crazy college memory?**

**K- hmmm, once Rachel and I decided that we weren’t “adventurous” enough so we bought weed brownies and then we ate too much and got *too high* and ended up lost in Brooklyn and we fell asleep and spent the night on a park bench.**

**B- oh my god! You got high?!**

**K- LOL yes, but that was the only time! Have you?**

**B- yeah, a couple times in college but it wasn’t really my thing. Much prefer alcohol if I’m honest.**

**K- oh same, me too. Okay your turn to ask a question.**

**B- what are some of your future goals for your career?  
**

**K- oh, that’s a good one. I’m really happy with where I am right now, but I would like to one day start my own label. I have so many books of designs that I would love to bring to life.**

**B- what’s stopping you?**

**K- hmm. Life I suppose. My job right now is easy. Safe. And I have 3 kids to worry about. The idea of taking that kind of risk is scary.**

**B- I think you could do it.  
**

**K- maybe one day...what about you?**

**B- I think I want to be principal one day. I love being in the classroom, but I also love the idea of contributing to the school community as a whole.  
**

**K- you would be a great principal!**

**B- I hope I get the chance.  
** ****

**K- okay, next question. What’s your dream vacation?**

**B- I would love to travel around Asia. Japan is my number 1 goal, it seems so cool there.** ****

**K- that would be so fun. I want to go to Australia. I’ve already been to all the places in Europe that were on my bucket list, so Australia is next up.  
** ****

**B- oh Australia is on my list too! Except I don’t know if I could handle the spiders.**

**K- that’s a real concern, but I think we could deal with it.**

**B- we, huh?**

**K- yes. Your turn to ask now.**

**B- what is one thing from our previous relationship that you never told me?**

**K- oh goodness. I’m already blushing.**

**B- damn, I wish I could see. I love when you blush ;)**

**K- okay, so I’ve never told ANYONE this, it’s super embarrassing.**

**B- now I’m intrigued...**

**K- do you remember that night in the summer before my senior year when we went to the fair? And then we made out in the backseat of your car like a block away from my house?**

**B- ohhh yes, that was a fun night!**

**K- yes, it was! So we were making out and you kind of shifted a little so that our...hips were touching a bit. Well, you brushed against me like three times and...ahh it’s too embarrassing!**

**B- c’mon Kurt, tell me!!**

**K- okay fine. I came in my pants and I was so embarrassed, and you didn’t even notice!**

**B- oh my god, no way!! Kurt, that’s so cute!**

**K- ew, it’s not cute! It’s humiliating!!!**

Blaine couldn’t stop laughing picturing poor, innocent Kurt accidentally coming in his pants and pretending like nothing happened. Blaine decided he was over texting and dialled Kurt’s number. He answered on the third ring.

”Ah, so you want to hear the humiliation in my voice?” He answered drily, voice slightly hushed on the other end of the line.

”Kurt, are you kidding? That’s so sweet and innocent.” Blaine answered, sitting up a little in his bed. 

“My lack of stamina was definitely NOT sweet. I was so mortified. I can’t believe you didn’t notice!”

”I’m sad I didn’t,” Blaine replied. “Although I do remember you pulling away really quick and suggesting that we go home, but I thought that was because you felt my dick and it freaked you out!”

”Well I did, but it definitely didn’t freak me out! It did the opposite in fact.” Blaine could practically feel Kurt’s blush over the phone.

”Don’t be embarrassed, it happens! The only reason it never happened to me with you is because I was so anal about not going too fast and respecting your boundaries that I didn’t even get the chance.”

”I loved that about you,” Kurt replied, voice hushed. “You were so respectful of me and my problems with intimacy. Not every guy would’ve been like that.”

”I loved you too much to let that get in the way,” Blaine replied, touched by the affection in Kurt’s voice. “I would’ve stayed celibate for life if that meant getting to be with you.”

”I think about that a lot now that I have kids. I hope they have partners who are as respectful of them and their boundaries that you were. And I hope they are respectful too.”

”With you as a dad? They will be.”

They were both silent on the phone for a moment before Kurt cleared his throat. “Okay, your turn to answer the question. What’s something you never told me before?”

”Oh right, I guess I’m getting busted by my own question.”

”Yup, go ahead.”

”Hmm,” Blaine thought for a moment. “Okay...so this is after we broke up. When I got back from New York, I was really upset and I went to your parents house.”

”You did?”

”Yes. I sat down with your dad, and I apologized for what I had done. I didn’t go into specifics or anything, but I think he had an idea of what had happened.”

”Wow...why did you do that?”

”Your family was like my family, Kurt. When I betrayed you, I felt like I had betrayed everyone. I felt I owed your Dad an apology for breaking your heart like that.”

”That was really brave of you. I don’t know if I would’ve had the guts to go to the house of my boyfriend’s family to apologize after I cheated on him.”

”It was just the right thing to do,” Blaine replied, feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness at remembering how lost he had felt, how worthless. “Breaking up with them was almost as hard as breaking up with you had been. When I cheated on you, I didn’t just lose you, I lost everyone. My relationship with my own family was always so complicated and with yours it was easy. Not having them has left a big hole in my life.”

”Oh, Blaine,” Kurt breathed out over the phone. “They’re excited to see you next week.”

”I’m nervous, but a little excited too.”

”Oh speaking of that, the kids were wondering if you’d come to their recital? I got you a ticket, but no pressure if it’s not your thing!”

”Are you kidding? I’d love to!”

”Awesome! Jack wants to ask you, so when he does act surprised. I just wanted to check with you first so you have a heads up to come up with an excuse if the answer was no.”

”I wouldn’t miss it.”

Blaine couldn’t get over the comfort of laying in his bed and talking to Kurt on the phone. It was eerily reminiscent of all those nights he spent whispering into his phone and he told Kurt as much.

”You’re right,” Kurt laughed. “We spent so many hours on the phone. Especially those months when you were at Dalton and I was back at McKinley.”

”I honestly can’t believe your dad never caught you and took away your phone. We were always up way too late on school nights.” Blaine replied, trying to picture a teenage Kurt, huddling under his blankets and whispering into the phone pressed against his ear. 

”Oh he knew, he just thought the next day exhaustion was a worse punishment,” Kurt laughed. ”No regrets.”

Just then Blaine heard a tiny voice come from a distance on the other end of the line. 

”Alice is calling for me,” Kurt said softly. “She’s been having nightmares lately.”

”Go on then,” Blaine replied. “Talk tomorrow?”

”Of course. Now get your preppy pajama butt to bed.”

”Bold of you to assume I’m wearing pajamas.” Blaine smirked.

”Oh my god, don’t do that to me when I can’t do anything about it! Now I have to get that visual out of my head before I go help my child.”

Blaine laughed and reached over to turn off his lamp. “Goodnight, Kurt.”

”Goodnight, Blaine Warbler.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I’m so sorry for the long wait! Work has been really busy lately and I just haven’t found the time to write but I’m finally back into a routine! Thank you so much for all the continued support, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)
> 
> PS: there are a couple time shifts in this chapter, so watch out for that!

**Monday, May 27, 2024**

KPOV

Kurt wakes up the morning of his thirtieth birthday to a tiny foot in his face. Momentarily confused, he glanced down to see Alice lying the wrong way in bed, her foot resting on the pillow next to Kurt’s head. She’d had another nightmare last night and had found her way into Kurt’s bed at 3am. He lifted his hand up and tickled the sole of her foot, moving his head out of the way when she started kicking it.

”Daddyyyyy,” she groaned, voice muffled by the comforter. She rolled over, her hair a wild mess on her head, and grinned sleepily at him. 

”Good morning, Al,” he laughed, eyeing her crazy hair. She sat up and crawled towards him, plopping herself down against his chest.

”Cuddle?” She asked, blue eyes looking up at him.

”Of course,” he replied, wrapping his arms around her as he glanced over at the clock. He still had three more hours before he had to get them to school, so he let himself snuggle down in the comforter for a little while longer.

As he lay there, running his fingers through her tangled curls, he reflected on the novelty of turning thirty. He felt oddly at peace that morning, far more calm than he had expected to feel, and the fear of aging wasn’t at the forefront of his mind.

Instead he thought of the people in his life who didn’t make it to their thirtieth birthdays. Finn, Justin, his mom. They had all died long before their time, and so instead of letting himself wallow, he allowed himself to be grateful that he made it to this milestone.

How strange it was to outlive both his husband and his mother. Both were twenty-nine when they died, leaving behind children who would miss them. Growing up he had worried about this day, worried about the moment when he crossed the barrier that his mother could never reach. 

They’d had him so young, his parents, both barely adults when they married and fell pregnant. They had only just finished celebrating their twenty-first birthdays and suddenly there he was, a responsibility that they were more than ready for. They never could’ve expected that their baby would outlive one of them, and sometimes Kurt himself found it hard to believe too. His mother always weighed heavily on his mind on his birthday, and today was no different.

***

**Sunday, May 27, 2012**

KPOV

”...happy birthday to you! Okay, blow ‘em out!” Finn laughed, pushing the cake further up the table towards Kurt. 

Kurt rolled his eyes at his eagerness, but blew the candles out nevertheless. He managed to get all but one, and he made eye contact with Blaine over the single flame among the oohs and aahs of their friends.

”One boyfriend! Well done with the monogamy Kurt,” Rachel said, nodding approvingly while resting her head on Finn’s shoulder. 

”Monogamy is for suckers!” Puck grumbled, reaching over to pluck a candle out of the cake, plopping the icing-rich end of it into his mouth and moaning obscenely. 

”Don’t be disgusting, Noah,” Quinn said, rolling her eyes in his direction. “And besides, Kurt and Blaine have every right to be monogamous it that’s what they want.”

”You losers know that candles don’t actually determine monogamy, don’t you?” Santana piped up from her perch in Brittany’s lap. “Lady Hummel and bow tie McGee could have a revolving door of sexual partners, and those dumb candles wouldn’t have any idea.”

”No, Santana,” Brittany said, eyes wide. “Candles know everything about unicorns, so if Kurt did have a lot of boyfriends the candles would know!”

”You don’t actually believe that, do you Britt?” Tina asked, glancing over at Mike who simply shrugged.

”Are we seriously arguing about this right now?” Kurt said finally, accepting the knife that Rachel was handing him. “No, I don’t have any boyfriends but Blaine, and in the case the candles knew it! Now let’s get into this cake so we can get back to rehearsal!”

The glee club dissolved into muttered conversations as Kurt sliced into the cake. They were sitting in the cafeteria at McKinley, because Mr. Shuester had let them take a break from their last minute weekend Nationals rehearsal to eat the cake that Rachel had brought for Kurt’s eighteenth birthday. Rachel had insisted that they sit at a real table to eat it which is how they wound up in the empty cafeteria on a weekend. 

Once everyone got their slice of cake, they broke off into their usual pods, making conversation and laughing to each other. Blaine slid into the seat next to Kurt, letting his hand slide up his arm quickly before using it to grab his fork.

”Are you okay?” He asked, hazel eyes carefully scrutinizing him. 

“I’m fine,” Kurt said quickly, knowing that it wasn’t true. His heart had felt heavy all day, and he was almost disappointed the Rachel had insisted on celebrating his birthday when he was looking forward to just melting into the background. 

”You and I both know that’s not true,” Blaine said quietly, eyes flicking over to where Rachel and Finn sat still within ear shot. They were both talking in hushed voices, clearly pretending they couldn’t hear, and Kurt was grateful of the illusion of privacy that they were giving him.

”Turning eighteen is harder than I thought,” Kurt answered finally, keeping his eyes fixated on the cake in front of him. “Ten years...a whole decade without her here. She died just weeks after my eighth birthday, but somehow the birthday feels harder than the day itself.”

Blaine hummed empathetically, allowing his hand to stroke lightly on Kurt’s back, but he didn’t speak.

”It’s just hard,” Kurt shrugged. “Eighteen means I’ve left my childhood behind, and I’m leaving her behind with it. She’ll never know me as an adult, and that’s a little depressing. Sometimes I wish that I could stay in my childhood just a little longer, so that I could stay in the era that she lived in. There’s such a finality in turning eighteen, a definite gap between childhood and adulthood and she’ll be staying firmly in my childhood.”

”I get it, dude,” Finn said suddenly, dropping the pretence of not listening in. Kurt started, having momentarily forgotten that they weren’t alone. “I always think of my dad whenever I reach any milestones.”

Kurt looked up from where he had been fiddling with his fork and saw that Finn’s eyes were shining with something he hadn’t seen before. “Yes, I feel like every milestone will be hard. I’ve been dreading graduation for months for that very reason, so I was caught off guard that this birthday hit me so hard.“

”It’s not easy,” Finn shrugged. “And I’m sure it’s even harder for you because you have actual living memories of your mom.”

Kurt didn’t reply, but nodded, throat feeling tight. 

”It’s hard, man. But think of how proud she would be to see how far you’ve made it! Things were rocky there for you for awhile.”

”Thanks, Finn,” Kurt smiled. “I think you’re right.”

”Of course I’m right!” Finn replied, reaching over to clap his hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “So you gotta keep living your life like every day could be your last, because you never know what might happen. She would want that for you.”

Kurt was touched by Finn’s words of comfort and he struggled to keep his emotions from spilling over. Finn turned back to Rachel, who was looking at him with a look of adoration that under normal circumstances would have made Kurt want to gag, but today he kept his comments to himself, grateful for the support Finn was giving him. 

Soon they were immersed in their own conversation again and Kurt turned back to Blaine.

”Finn’s right you know,” Blaine said, licking the icing off his fork. “She would be so proud of you. You’ve made it through hell and back, and it only made you stronger. But yeah, milestone birthdays will probably always be a bit rough.”

”Yes, I’m dreading twenty-one, though I suppose I wouldn’t want my mom around for that one anyway,” Kurt laughed. “I feel like thirty will be the next challenge. That’ll be a big one.”

”Wow, thirty,” Blaine repeated, eyes wide. “Where do you think you’ll be at thirty?”

”Oh, I have it planned out!” Kurt said, quickly eating his last bite of cake and setting his fork down to have the full range of motion of his hands. “We will obviously be married and living in a swanky apartment in New York. We will both be in the midst of starring in our own broadway productions, but the timing lines up perfectly so that we still get to spend lots of time together. I think once I turn thirty I’ll be ready to start thinking about having kids, so maybe that’s when we’ll get the ball rolling on that one. On my actual birthday we’ll both have the day off because thirty is an obviously very important birthday and we’ll spend all day together, and maybe we’ll have breakfast at Tiffany’s! Although, I think I would be just as happy eating a bagel with lox and cream cheese in bed in our underwear instead.”

”That sounds pretty amazing,” Blaine replied, looking at Kurt with a dreamy, far-away look. “I can’t wait to move to New York and start our future together.” 

Kurt hummed in agreement and let himself get lost in the fantasy for a little while longer before Blaine spoke again.

”Can I kiss you?” He asked, looking at Kurt with dark, determined eyes. 

”What, here?!” Kurt was startled. They had a strict no PDA rule, which was very strongly enforced at school.

”Yes.”

”But...” Kurt glanced around at their friends, lounging on cafeteria tables as they teased each other. “Everyone will see!”

”What if I want them to?” Blaine replied, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “This is probably the best chance we have to kiss at school without getting our asses kicked, and I think your eighteenth birthday is the perfect occasion to go for it.”

Kurt considered him carefully, glancing around at his friends again. As much as he didn’t want to admit, he really did want to kiss Blaine at school. He watched the other couples engage in PDA in this building without a second thought and he wanted a chance to experience it too. But before he could say anything, Blaine leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

”I’ve always wanted to make out with a _man_ ,” and that was it. Kurt surged forward and locked his lips with Blaine’s and felt him respond enthusiastically. He heard his friends erupt in cheers around them, and he smiled against Blaine’s mouth.

*** 

**Monday, May 27, 2024**

KPOV

Kurt must’ve dozed off again because the next thing he knew he was woken up by a knocking at the door. He squinted at his clock and saw that was barely 7. Utterly confused, he rolled out of his bed and pulled on his robe before heading to the front door to see who it was. 

When he pulled open the heavy door, he was shocked to find Blaine standing there. He wracked his brain trying to figure out if they had plans that he’d forgotten, all the while Blaine just grinned mischievously at him. He was dressed in dark jeans and a button up shirt, his curls careful styled in a way that seemed effortless but Kurt knew had probably taken time. His work bag was slung over his shoulder, and he held a big brown paper bag in his arms. 

”Happy Birthday, Kurt,” he said, hazel eyes sparkling with mischief.

Kurt was still confused, but he couldn’t deny the thrill that came from seeing him standing there. “Thank you! But what are you doing here? Don’t you have to get to work soon?”

”We have a late start today,” Blaine shrugged. “I brought bagels.”

Kurt’s heart plummeted from its careful purchase in his chest, and he drew a sharp breath as the memory of another birthday flooded him.

They were both silent, Blaine standing confidently in the doorway, a sly smile playing on his lips, and Kurt still clutching the doorknob. “Well get in here then!” Kurt said finally, grasping at Blaine’s collar and pulling him in before pressing their lips together. Blaine moaned as Kurt deepened the kiss, reaching his hand up to brush against the curls that rested at the nape of Blaine’s neck. He wanted to plunge his hand into those curls further, but he could tell that Blaine spent time styling his hair that morning and he didn’t want to mess that up. 

Eventually they broke apart, as Kurt ran his hand down the front of Blaine’s shirt.

”You remembered,” he whispered, fiddling with one of Blaine’s buttons and willing the blush that was threatening to appear to stay off his cheeks.

”I remember everything about you,” Blaine replied simply, and the sincerity of it made Kurt want to cry. 

***

Fifteen minutes later the kids were up and they were all lounging around the family room coffee table eating their bagels. The kids were thrilled at the novelty of eating in the family room (something Kurt very rarely allows) and the giggling was at an all time high. Kurt couldn't believe how comfortable he was lounging around in just his robe with Blaine around, surrounded by the kids in their themed pajamas and morning hair. It was all very domestic, and that thrilled Kurt.

”Blaine?” Jack said shyly as he licked cream cheese from the edge of his hand. “When we get ready for school will you help me pick out my outfit?”

”Of course!” Blaine replied, “I’m great at picking out outfits.”

Jack beamed his thanks, and resumed his bagel eating with a new energy.

”You’re so sweet,” Kurt said, running his hand along Blaine’s arm briefly before pulling it away.

Blaine blushed and shrugged before changing the subject. 

”So...thirty. How does it feel?”

“I can’t say I feel all that different from when I was twenty-nine,” Kurt shrugged. “But I’m not freaking out or anything. I’m just glad to have made it this far, not everyone is so lucky.”

Blaine nodded in understanding and took a bite out of his bagel. 

”Any big plans to celebrate?” He asked.

”Oh, I can’t believe I forgot to tell you!” Kurt exclaimed, straightening up in his chair. “Santana and Rachel have invited a bunch of people we know to a gay club on Friday night to celebrate. My parents will be in town so they’re going to watch the kids. You have to come!”

”A club?” Blaine said wrinkling his nose and laughing. “Aren’t we a little old for clubs?”

”Oh, don’t get me wrong, I agree!” Kurt laughed with him, “but Santana insisted. She says I missed out on my prime years because I had kids young and she wants me to let loose a little. I think it’s kind of sweet of her if I’m honest.”

”Well, I’ll be there for sure. Wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity to dance with you.”

Kurt didn’t miss the dark flash in Blaine’s eyes when he mentioned dancing, and Kurt felt a rush of arousal at the thought of sweaty bodies, pounding music, and _Blaine._

”Can’t wait,” Kurt replied, suppressing the urge to press his lips to Blaine’s, mindful of their current company. They stared at each other for a few moments longer before they were interrupted by Alice.

”Hey, Blaine, guess what? My grandma and grandpa are coming to visit soon!”

Blaine tore his eyes away from Kurt and turned to face her. Kurt let out a sigh at the loss of the intense eye contact. He had been so hellbent on waiting to be intimate, but he wasn’t sure if he could wait much longer. He felt like he was sixteen again with his desperate craving for Blaine slowly burning brighter each day.

***

Blaine stayed to help Kurt get the kids ready for school and then accompanied him to drop off. Blaine’s school was their last stop, and Kurt left him at the front gates with a quick kiss and a promise to text later.

Soon enough, Kurt found himself crossing the street with Santana on their way to their usual Monday afternoon coffee shop. Santana was blabbering away about Friday, who she’d invited, what she was going to wear, what she planned on drinking. Kurt listened quietly, content to just be in her company as they’d had to miss out on their last few one-on-one coffee dates because of how busy the dance studio had been. 

After they’d placed their orders (“and get us one of those giant M&M cookies for the birthday boy here!” Santana had smirked at the barista, knowing Kurt avoided sugar like the plague,) they found their favourite corner table. Kurt had just given in and taken a bite of the cookie when Santana spoke up again.

”So, did you get it in yet?” 

Kurt spluttered around his mouthful of cookie. “Santana! You can’t just ask that!” 

”Uh, do you know me at all?” She frowned. “Of course I can! So tell me...how’s the sex?”

”Oh my god, shut up! I’m not talking about this right now.”

”That bad, huh?” She smirked at him.

”Ugh, no! We haven’t done anything yet, if you must know!” Kurt replied, dusting the cookie crumbs off his hands. 

”Why the hell not?” She exclaimed, breaking off a piece of the cookie and taking a bite. “You’re both young and hot, what’s stopping you?”

“Nothing! We’re trying to take it slow! And also, having three kids who like to sporadically crawl into my bed at all hours of the night doesn’t leave much room for opportunity!”

”Why the heck are you so concerned about taking it slow? You know you’ve had sex with him before, right?” She asked, rolling her eyes at him.

”You know how I am about sex stuff, Santana,” Kurt blushed. “I’m the one who needs time, not him. Although between you and me...I’m not sure I can wait for much longer, it’s like everything he does drives me crazy.”

“Well, you need to go for it then,” Santana said, stirring her straw through her iced coffee. “I’m sure Blaine is more than ready to uh, _rise_ to the occasion.”

”Ugh, don’t be so crass! It’s my birthday, can we keep our conversation topics PG for once? Besides, if we keep talking loudly about sex in this coffee shop they’re not going to let us come back! 

“Well, fine, but only because it’s your birthday! How’s it been so far anyway?”

”So good,” Kurt replied, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Blaine surprised me with bagels this morning. It was something I said I wanted on my thirtieth birthday years ago, I can’t believe he remembered.”

”Ew, that’s disgustingly sweet,” Santana smiled at him. “I’m glad you’ve had a good day, Kurt, you deserve it.”

Kurt smiled back, touched. “Thank you, it was great. I’m so happy. Now, tell me more about this club we’re going to.”

***  
That night, Kurt lay in bed texting Blaine.

**K- I hope the rest of your day wasn’t too boring!**

**B- how could it be? I got to start my morning with you :)**

Kurt raised a hand to his flaming cheeks, suppressing the silly giggle that was threatening to erupt.

**K- that was so corny.**

**K- but damn, you somehow have made 30 year old me feel like a teenager again.**

**B- do I make you feel like you’re living a teenage dream?**

**K- omg shut up LOL don’t tease me with that song! Aww teenage Blaine in his preppy blazer is pretty good image though.  
**

**B- not as good as teenage Kurt blushing in the doorway in his poor disguise as he watched me skip around.**

**K- ugh, I was so obvious!**

**B- yeah, to everyone but me!**

**K- so...I was thinking...**

**B- always dangerous!**

**K- if you’re going to tease, I guess you won’t get to find out what it is...  
**

**K- and it’s GOOD, too...**

**B- Okay fine! I surrender. What were you thinking?**

**K- well, I was wondering if maybe I could crash at your place after the club on Friday? My parents are staying with me for the first few nights before they move to their hotel so someone will be with the kids. I just don’t want to come home wasted or something and make a fool of myself.**

**B- hmmm, is that really the reason you want to come over?**

**K- How DARE YOU question my motives??**

**K- But of course not, I fully plan on seducing you, I’d just like to maintain my dignity by at least pretending that I’m just trying to be practical!**

**B- well in that case, there’s always room on my couch for you <3**

**K- Blaaaaaaaine!**

**B- Fine, I GUESS you can sleep in my bed with me...but no funny business!**

**K- Well in that case, I guess I’ll just go home to my own bed after the club then...**

**B- NO, come to my bed instead :( I have snacks!**

**K- deal.** ****

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not actually sure how old Kurt’s parents were when they had him, but I wanted them to be somewhat young to parallel Kurt and Justin’s relationship!  
> I also only just realized after writing this entire chapter that Kurt’s birthday is canonically in May of 1993 instead of 1994 like everyone else in his grade? This is so weird and doesn’t really make sense since he’s born in the middle of the year so he shouldn’t have been held back? So for the purpose of this story, let’s pretend he was born in 1994 (otherwise I would have to change the years in the whole story which I don’t want to do because that messes with all the timelines I’ve created *facepalm*).


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! I think this might be the longest chapter I’ve written, so I hope that makes up for it!
> 
> Rating comes into effect in this chapter!

**Friday, May 31, 2024**

BPOV

As Blaine walked down the crowded street, hand gripping tightly on his umbrella, he allowed himself to feel the panic that he’d been pushing down all day. It was happening. Burt and Carole had been in town for two days now, and Blaine was about to find himself face-to-face with them. 

He adjusted his grip on his umbrella as the rain fell harder, and he dodged a little old woman on the street who was moving at a snail’s pace. He tried to breathe normally, but he was panting more than usual as he hurried along, anxious at the thought of having to see Burt Hummel in the flesh. Would he get punched? Blaine would probably punch himself if he was in Burt’s position.

He arrived at Kurt’s sooner than he would have liked to, and he spent a little too much time standing outside the door to the lobby, psyching himself up to go in.

”Hello Mr. Anderson,” the doorman said as he opened the door. He must’ve noticed Blaine standing outside in the rain. “Are you planning on coming inside?” 

Blaine flushed with embarrassment at being caught standing there and not coming inside, so he quickly hurried in.

”Oh yes, I was just—“

”Oh don’t worry, you don’t have to explain yourself to me!” The doorman said, waving him off. “I just figured you might be a little drier in here.”

Blaine chuckled awkwardly and muttered his thanks before hurrying over to the elevator and jabbing at the buttons.

When he eventually arrived at Kurt’s door, he forced himself to quickly knock before he could stall any longer. He listened, ears straining for the sounds of footsteps, eventually hearing the unmistakeable sounds of Kurt’s hurried steps.

When Kurt finally threw open the door Blaine’s breath caught in his throat. Kurt was wearing the tightest pair of black pants Blaine had ever seen. He had on shiny black boots, and dark navy button-up shirt with the cuffs rolled up to to mid-forearm. It was unbuttoned to the midpoint of his smooth chest, and Blaine could practically feel the arousal bubble up inside him.

”Blaine!” Kurt beamed at him, apparently unaware of the effect he was having on him as he grabbed Blaine’s hand and dragged him into the apartment. He glanced back once before quickly pressing his lips to Blaine’s once he confirmed that the coast was clear.

”You look so hot,” he whispered, eyes wandering up and down Blaine’s body once before making eye contact again. Blaine flushed under the attention, pulling awkwardly at the collar of his own buttoned shirt. He had specifically picked this shirt, deep red and tight, because he loved how it hugged his upper body and he was pleased that Kurt had noticed.

”You should see yourself,” Blaine whispered back, glancing over Kurt’s shoulder once more before pressing another quick kiss to his lips. 

“Well, come on in!” Kurt said, voice returning to a normal pitch now as he hung up Blaine’s soaked jacket. “Jeez, it’s really coming down out there, huh?”

”Yes, it’s the heaviest I’ve seen in awhile,” Blaine replied conversationally, though he had quickly settled back into panic at the sound of Burt’s deep voice, echoing somewhere over Kurt’s right shoulder. 

As though he could sense Blaine’s hesitation, Kurt whispered in his ear, “don’t worry. They’ll play nice.”

Blaine swallowed and nodded back, but he squeezed Kurt’s hand in his for a second before allowing himself to be dragged to where the voices were drifting down the hall from the kitchen. When they finally entered the brightly lit room, everyone was gathered around the island. Santana, Brittany, and Rachel were all done up nicely, with Santana dressed the most provocatively of them all in a dress that looked more like a tank top than something designed to cover her ass. But he had to admit, she still looked pretty hot, even to him. Burt and Carole, both greying at the temples stood in the kitchen, Carole holding a glass of wine and Burt, a can of beer. They were all laughing at a story Rachel was telling, and Blaine felt his heart beat erratically at the sight of them. 

”BLAINE!” He heard Grace shriek from the couch and within seconds she had flung her arms around his denim-clad legs.

“Hey, Gracie,” he said, running his hand over the top of her head affectionately.

”Is Blaine here?!?” Came another voice from the opposite hallway before a two more sets of feet came running from one of the bedrooms. Blaine reached down and scooped up Jack when they reached him, and gently tugged on one of Alice’s braids as he smiled down at her.

After the scampered off on their way again, Blaine finally felt brave enough to make eye contact with Kurt’s parents. Burt was watching him with a curious expression, not unlike the one Kurt frequently sported and Blaine wondered what he was thinking.

“Oh Blaine!” Carole exclaimed, setting down her wine glass and hurrying forward to capture him in a hug. “How wonderful it is to see you!”

Blaine couldn’t help the grin on his face at her open affection, her hug as comforting as he remembered it being when he was a teen, and he was grateful that at least one of Kurt’s parents didn’t want to kill him.

”It’s so good to see you too,” he replied as she pulled away. “You haven’t aged a day since I saw you last!”

“Oh my,” she giggled, swatting playfully at his arm. “You always were a charmer.” 

By this point Burt had stepped forward next to his wife. Blaine cleared his throat before extending his hand.   
  
“So good to see you, sir,” he said, willing his hand not to tremble as he held it out.

”Blaine, what have I told you about that ‘sir’ nonsense?” Burt replied, accepting Blaine’s outstretched hand with a smile. “It’s ‘Burt’ to you.”

Blaine smiled back, still feeling somewhat timid, but reassured by the soft tone of Burt’s voice. He still felt a little uncomfortable, but he no longer felt certain that Burt was going to punch him so that was a start.

Kurt handed Blaine a beer as he joined the group, grinning reassuringly at him. 

“Okay, one drink and then we have to bounce!” Santana announced, running her finger over the smudge of lipstick on her wine glass.

”Isn’t it a bit early to be hitting a club, Santana?” Rachel asked, glancing at the clock on the stove. “It’s only 8:30!”

”Yes well we’re going to go to a bar first of course, get some drinks and appies, and then we’ll go to the club!” She exclaimed, rolling her eyes like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“Yes, and on that note, I’m going to get my babies ready for bed before we head out,” Kurt said, resting his hand quickly on Blaine’s forearm before heading down the hallway. Blaine’s arm burned in the spot where Kurt made contact, and he looked up to find Santana waggling her eyebrows at him. 

“So, Blaine,” Carole asked, drawing Blaine’s gaze away from Santana. “What are you up to these days?”

Blaine eagerly dove into a discussion of his students and work, teaching glee club, going to nationals, everything that he loved about his job. The Hummel-Hudson’s nodded approvingly as he talked, and Blaine’s heart felt considerably lighter.

”Teaching is a very noble job, Blaine,” Burt said, taking a sip of his beer. 

“I’m so grateful, I love my job,” Blaine replied, face burning at Burt’s approval. 

“So, you and Kurt...” Burt said, eyes unreadable as he faced Blaine.

”Oh, um...yes,” Blaine said by way of answer, fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt.

”And how do you feel about dating a man with three children?” Burt asked, face stern but eyes kind.

”Well, I thought a lot about it. I didn’t want to start anything with Kurt until I was sure of my feelings because it’s important to do it right when there are kids involved.”

”And how do you feel about him?” Burt asked as Carole smacked him in the arm. 

“Leave him alone Burt! That’s none of our business! You don’t have to answer him Blaine.” Carole said kindly, frowning at Burt as she talked.

”I’m very serious about him, trust me. I know I made a big mistake when we were together the first time and getting this second chance feels like something that I don’t deserve. But I’m very grateful for it.”

Burt smiled at his answer, while the girls whispered on the other side of the island. Finally, Kurt arrived again to take Blaine out of his misery.

”Okay, we’ve come to say goodnight!” Kurt said as he entered the kitchen, all three kids in tow. They walk around the room, giving hugs to all the adults as they went. Blaine couldn’t help but smile at the joy on Burt and Carole’s faces as they hugged their grandchildren.

Once they finished their hugs, Kurt crouched down to their level, an impressive feat in those tight pants of his.

”Alright, don’t forget that I’m going to be out all night tonight. I’m going to be sleeping over at Blaine’s house but I’ll be home in the morning before we all go out to brunch! And then we have the recital which will be so fun!”

”You get to have a sleepover with Blaine?” Jack asked. “No fair! I want to sleepover at Blaine’s house!”

”Hmm maybe another time, Jack. Tonight Grandma and Grandpa are sleeping over with you! It’ll be so fun!”

”But if you’re sleeping over at Blaine’s,” Grace said, frowning slightly. “Where are your pajamas? When I slept over at Sarah’s last week I brought my Frozen backpack with my pajamas in it! Where is your bag with pajamas?”

Blaine was quite certain that he had never blushed as hard as he did in that moment. The girls were sniggering behind their hands, and even Carole was struggling to hide her smile. Burt’s expression was unreadable, and Blaine was mortified.

”Um,” Kurt said, blushing just as red as Blaine was as he tried to think on his feet. “I dropped off my bag at Blaine’s on the way home from work earlier today. So my pajamas are already there.”

Grace seemed satisfied with that answer and nodded approvingly before Kurt whisked them back to their beds, shooting Blaine an apologetic look as they went.

***

“Well, that was horrifying,” Kurt said as they stood huddled together under an umbrella as they waited for a cab. The three girls, under their own umbrella, laughed at their embarrassment. 

“Come on, Hummel,” Santana laughed. “All the adults in that room knew exactly why you aren’t bringing pajamas to Blaine’s. It’s not like Gracie revealed your deep dark secret or something.”

Blaine could practically feel Kurt’s blush, so he slipped his hand into his to reassure him.

”Ugh, I know, but I don’t think that my dad appreciated being reminded that I’m going to be getting laid tonight.”

”A bit presumptuous of you to assume that! I thought we were having a totally platonic sleepover!” Blaine teased, squeezing Kurt’s cold hand in his. He knew that when Kurt asked to spend the night what his intentions were, but it still thrilled him to hear it confirmed.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes as they finally successfully flagged down a cab. “You better watch it, I’ll be just as comfortable on the couch.”

Blaine quickly pressed his lips to Kurt’s as his stomach swooped at the thrill of kissing in front of their friends before they both climbed into the cab. 

Their first stop was a bar across the street from the club that they planned on going to. They ordered nachos and drinks, and sat in a booth laughing and making jokes.

”Jesse at home with the baby tonight?” Blaine asked Rachel, dunking a chip into sour cream as his other hand clutched Kurt’s under the table. 

“Yes, he has an early call time tomorrow so he didn’t mind staying home. Plus, clubs aren’t really his thing.”

”Clubs aren’t really MY thing,” Kurt grumbled next to him. “But I was dragged out against my will!”

”Come on, Kurt! It’s your 30th birthday! Embrace your youth! Grind on the dance floor! Get too drunk and forget that you’re a father with responsibilities!” Santana cried, downing what was already her second martini of the night. 

“I can’t just forget that I’m a father, Satan! Though I appreciate the thought.”

Blaine wasn’t necessarily thrilled at the thought of going to a club either, but he was definitely excited to dance with Kurt, so he leaned over and told him as much. 

The girls were off an a tangent about something else, so Kurt angled his body towards Blaine’s and lowered his voice.

”It’s weird, isn’t it? Doing all these adult things together? Last time we were dating the most scandalous thing we did was...well, Scandals!”

”It is weird,” Blaine agreed, running his thumb over the back of Kurt’s hand. “In some ways it feels like no time has passed and in others it feels like we’re moving on fast forward.”

”Hmm, true,” Kurt replied. “We’ve both lived so much life since then. But that’s what makes it so exciting...merging who we were back then with who we are now.”

Blaine hummed in agreement before surging forward and capturing Kurt’s lips again. 

An hour later, when they were all considerably drunker, the group headed across the street where they met up with a few of Kurt’s other friends. Everyone was buzzing with energy, and they all made a beeline to the dance floor.

It all started out fairly innocent, jumping and dancing as a group. Kurt was in his element, dancing and losing himself to the music with a massive smile on his face. His hand rarely left Blaine’s, and they spent what felt like forever dancing around like they used to when they were kids.

”Aw, look at all the baby gays,” Kurt laughed in Blaine’s ear at one point, gesturing around to the men that surrounded them. It was true they were all incredibly young (Blaine doubted very much that they all entered the club legally), and Blaine felt the weight of his almost twenty-nine years.

”We are way too old to be here,” he laughed back, spinning Kurt into his chest and dipping him.

”We look like such dads right now,” Kurt replied, shimmying his shoulders in Blaine’s direction. Blaine felt a thrill at the word “dads” but pushed it out of his mind for now. 

Eventually the alcohol burning in their veins pushed them closer and closer together until they found themselves dancing flush. The group had dispersed by then, dancing in private corners, or making out in the middle of the dance floor like Santana and Brittany were currently doing. 

They had never danced like this before, bodies pressed up against each other as they felt every curve and bump of the other man against him. They had always been so careful in public, even in Scandals they would keep a respectable distance, and this felt like a revelation. Of course Blaine had dated other men who he was comfortable being affectionate in public with, but this felt different. Every move was amplified by the distant memory of their timid teenage years.

Blaine was awed by the way adult Kurt moved his hips, firm and unashamed, and Blaine could feel that he was hard in those ridiculously tight pants. The pounding of the music matched the pounding of his heart as he brought his lips up to Kurt’s. He’s not sure how long they stayed like that, grinding and kissing on the dance floor, but he did know that it was for too many songs to count.

Kurt’s eyes were dark with desire every time they pulled apart and made eye contact, and Blaine knew he must look similar. He felt like he had been teetering on the edge for so long that it was a relief when Kurt leaned over and whispered in his ear:

”Take me home.”

***

Before long they found themselves standing in the dark shadows of Blaine’s room. In all the times that Blaine has imagined this in the past few months, he never excepted this calm. There was no desperate kissing, no tearing off clothes, not yet. The light from the nearby lamp cast Kurt in a glowing orange light, and his chest was moving in anxious breaths. They’re barely an arms length apart, yet Blaine feels his distance. He reached his arms out and was grateful when he felt Kurt embrace him in return.

When they pulled apart, Kurt’s eyes found Blaine’s again. He was sporting a curious expression, like desire mixed with nerves, and Blaine was reminded of a different room in a different time with the same boy. 

Kurt raised his hand up to Blaine’s cheek, letting it drift down from his jaw to the buttons on his shirt. He raised one eyebrow in silent question to which Blaine eagerly nodded. Kurt worked the buttons on his shirt, speaking in a hushed tone as he went.

”I thought about this you know,” Kurt said, hands lingering on the small bit of chest that he had managed to unveil so far. “You in that Dalton uniform and the idea of taking it off you drove my innocent brain crazy. Sometimes,” he continued after taking a deep breath, “I could get off on just this image alone.”

Blaine sucked in his breath at the admission, feeling himself harden considerably in his pants. There was something about this, those secret confessions that Kurt had never been brave enough to share before that sent him wild. 

“I wish you had told me,” Blaine replied. “I would’ve put it on just so you could take it off me again. It definitely wouldn’t fit now.”

”This will do,” Kurt laughed, finally pushing the material off of Blaine’s shoulder. He reached for Blaine’s hands, and brought them up to his own button-down. Blaine made quick work of his buttons, taking special care to drape the shirt over a nearby chair before fusing himself to Kurt again, mouths moving desperately against each other.

They stayed like that for what felt like years, barefoot and half-dressed in Blaine’s dark bedroom. Blaine could feel the shape of Kurt’s cock pushing into his hip, and suddenly they couldn’t move fast enough. He fumbled for Kurt’s belt, pulling it eagerly through the loops while Kurt made quick work of Blaine’s fly. Together they stepped out of their pants, giggling as they tripped and stumbled before falling back on to the bed. 

Once on the bed, all anxiety that had plagued Kurt’s expressions before had evaporated. He pinned Blaine’s hands above his head as he leaned down, smirking, to kiss him again. 

Blaine couldn’t help his moan as he felt Kurt’s cock press against his through the thin barrier of their underwear. It had been so many years since they had been together like this, hips rolling desperately as they whimpered into each other’s mouths. Blaine remembered what it was like that first time, that first feel of Kurt’s cock, the look of awe in his expression as they moved together. They were so hesitant, embarrassed by their bodies and their natural reactions that they held back, swallowing moans and closing their eyes in hesitation, awed at the feeling of another’s body so close. It felt oddly similar to Blaine this time, the way it does when you finally expose yourself to a new lover, but there was that familiarity to it too. It was evident in the tight circular motion of Kurt’s hips, one he hadn’t felt replicated in any other partner since, and Blaine revelled in the reminder of their teenage exploration. 

They let themselves stay like that for a while, thrusting together slowly as they reacquainted themselves with the way the other moved. The stamina that came with age brought every movement down a few notches, not as desperate as it once would’ve been, and Blaine enjoyed the simplicity of it. Eventually though, Blaine pulled away and decided he needed to taste. He brought his hand to the edge of Kurt’s briefs, and whispered against his lips, “can I suck you?”

”Oh god yes,” Kurt replied, letting his head fall against the pillow with a small thump. 

Blaine hooked his thumbs under the waistband and wasted no time pulling them down and off his hips. Kurt’s cock, flushed and leaking, bounced against his belly and Blaine couldn’t help his groan as he took it into his hand.

“Oh shit,” Kurt groaned as Blaine made contact, bucking into his hand. “It’s been so long that I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be touched by someone else.”

Blaine kissed him hard in response as he continued to pump his hand up and down before lowering his head and taking all of Kurt into his mouth at once. Kurt swore loudly, hips bucking uncontrollably into Blaine’s mouth, and Blaine hummed around him appreciatively. Kurt tasted better than anyone else he had ever been with, a mix of salty skin and some kind of sweet body wash, and Blaine felt almost desperate to get as much of Kurt into his mouth as he could. As he sucked him, Blaine allowed his hands to travel over the expanse of Kurt’s soft skin, fingers trailing softly over the spot on Kurt’s thigh that always used to get him the biggest reaction.

Sure enough, the second Blaine’s fingers ghosted over the area in question, Kurt’s hips bucked further still and his cock plunged deeper into Blaine’s throat than he ever thought possible. All too soon, Kurt’s fingers tangled in his hair and pulled him off with a muttered “too close” followed by, “my turn.”

Kurt slowly moved down Blaine’s body, peppering him with kisses as he went. Every touch of Kurt’s lips sent a thrill through Blaine’s bones, and he felt himself grow harder still in his briefs. Eventually, Kurt reached his waistband, peppering the skin there with more kisses before easing them down his hips. 

Blaine suddenly felt a rush of self-consciousness, watching Kurt’s eyes roam up and down his adult body. He knew his body was different now, less defined and more soft, and the scars that came with aging still stood out stark on his olive skin. He could practically feel the wrinkled scar from his appendicitis as it stretched horizontally on his abdomen, and he was flooded with a strange embarrassment now that Kurt’s eyes were examining him. He hadn’t considered what it would be like to be naked again with Kurt, exposing how his body had changed in the decade plus since Kurt had last seen it, and he fought the urge to cover himself up. Blaine was not self-conscious by nature, he rarely felt embarrassed by his naked body, but this was different. He was acutely aware of the soft swell of his belly, permanently a little pushed out now after years of stress-eating and beer-drinking, replacing the place where Kurt had only ever known muscle. As if on cue, Kurt ran his hands over his stomach, feeling the soft skin as far as he could reach. 

“You’re so much hotter than I remembered,” Kurt whispered, leaning up to capture Blaine’s lips once more, and Blaine felt his hesitation melt away. 

Finally, Kurt’s hand made contact and he gave a few short pumps, twisting his wrist in the way he remembered Blaine liked before leaning down and lapping gently at the head. Blaine struggled to keep his hips from jumping off the bed at the touch, and he didn’t even try to stop the groan that tumbled from his lips at the contact. Kurt looked up at his groan, eyes dark with lust and he smirked, leaving Blaine to hold his breath in anticipation. 

Just like that, Kurt stopped his gentle lapping before sinking his mouth all the way down Blaine’s length. He felt himself hit the back of Kurt’s throat, and Blaine couldn’t help himself from shouting out in surprise. 

“Oh fucking shit fuck!” He swore, hips bucking slightly as he ran his hands hesitantly over Kurt’s perfectly styled hair. Kurt captured one of Blaine’s wrists, guiding it until his fingers tangled into his hair. Blaine gripped it tightly, urging his head down as far as it would go and felt his eyes roll into the back of his head.

This sexually confident Kurt was an enigma to him. Never before had he taken the entire length of Blaine into his mouth, opting instead to use his hand on the bottom of the shaft where his mouth didn’t reach. He was always hesitant about this, the first few times he insisted that Blaine keep his eyes closed because he was sure that he “looked ridiculous.” Even when he was allowed to watch, Kurt was always timid, blushing prettily as he went, never allowing Blaine’s hands to make contact with his hair. 

This Kurt sucked him down without an ounce of hesitation. He made frequent eye contact with Blaine as he felt him hitting the back of his throat, and he hummed around him as his eyes glinted wickedly. All too soon, Blaine found himself teetering dangerously close to the edge. He tugged on Kurt’s hair until he pulled away with an obscene pop and dragged him up to bring their lips together again.

”Will you fuck me?” Blaine asked when they pulled apart, no ounce of embarrassment left now and he watched as Kurt’s eyes darkened further. 

“Oh my god, yes,” Kurt replied kissing Blaine quickly before asking, “where—?”

”Nightstand,” Blaine replied, gesturing feebly over the drawer in question and watched as Kurt retrieved the lube and condoms, throwing them down next to where Blaine was sprawled out. Kurt kneeled down between Blaine’s spread thighs again, shoving a pillow under his hips to give him better access.

”Start with two,” Blaine asked, chest still heaving from their earlier activities as he raised his knees to his chest. He supposed he should feel embarrassed by his desperation, but he was too busy imagining how amazing Kurt’s cock was going to feel inside him.

Kurt cocked his eyebrow in surprise but he didn’t waste any time slicking up two fingers before running them over Blaine’s exposed hole. He let his mouth sink down over Blaine’s cock again as his fingers breached his entrance, and Blaine felt the moan leave his lips before he could stop it. Kurt’s fingers were so much longer than his own and they moved swiftly inside him, twisting and stretching him.

Soon enough Blaine was begging for more, and Kurt was quick to lube up a third finger before pushing it in alongside the first two.

”Ah, too close,” Blaine choked out, gently tugging on Kurt’s hair to lift his mouth of his cock. “Just fingers unless you want this to be over before it even starts.”

Kurt chuckled and focused on the movements of his fingers, eyes gazing appreciatively over Blaine, legs spread and begging. Blaine had since planted his feet on the mattress, and Kurt rested his cheek against Blaine’s knee, pressing a kiss the heated flesh there. 

“Please, please, another...” Blaine begged, and Kurt was quick to comply. 

“You look so hot like this,” Kurt said, watching the four fingers disappear inside Blaine. “You take it so easily.”

“Feels so good,” Blaine replied, twisting his hips impatiently. “I’m ready.” 

Kurt slid his fingers out of Blaine slowly, and Blaine whimpered at the loss. He watched as Kurt rolled the condom on his cock, slicking it up quickly before wiping his hand off on a tissue.

”Wait—“ Blaine gasped out as Kurt made to line up with his hole. 

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Kurt asked, looking down at him with his face etched in concern.

”Oh god no, nothing’s wrong!” Blaine was quick to reassure him as he sat up. “I was just wondering if we could maybe...uh...”

”What is it? Don’t be shy,” Kurt smiled at Blaine’s burning cheeks, and Blaine felt a rush of affection for him.

”I want to ride you,” Blaine burst out, desire overwhelming his embarrassment, and he was pleased to see the flash of arousal in Kurt’s eyes at the suggestion.

”Fuck, yes please,” Kurt replied, eagerly crawling up to the head of the bed. He was about to lay down flat on his back when Blaine captured his shoulder. 

“Sit up against the headboard,” he instructed, letting Kurt settle down before swinging his leg over his lap. “Is this okay?”

”More than okay,” Kurt replied, running his hands over Blaine’s hips, watching hungrily as Blaine reached his hand behind him to line Kurt’s cock up with his entrance. 

“Ready?” Blaine asked when he felt the head of Kurt’s cock brush against him. 

“Do it,” Kurt replied, leaning his head up to capture Blaine’s lips, and that’s how they stayed, panting into each other’s mouths as Blaine slowly sunk down.

”Oh my god,” Blaine moaned when he was finally fully seated in Kurt’s lap. “Shit, you’re huge, I’d forgotten.”

”Huge might be an exaggeration, but I appreciate the compliment,” Kurt laughed, running his hands all over Blaine’s body as he waited for him to adjust. It didn’t take long, and soon Blaine was moving, lips locked on Kurt’s again as he slowly moved up and down. It didn’t take long for him to realize that he needed more leverage, so he braced his hands around the bars on his headboard. The slight change in angle had both men moaning and muttering endearments as they moved together.

Blaine felt so good that he could cry, the slide of Kurt’s chest against his as he moved on Kurt’s cock had him shaking. They had never done this before, experimented with different positions, and the intimacy of literally sitting in Kurt’s lap as he rode his cock was overwhelming. Their teenage lovemaking came in one speed only— missionary, Kurt topping, a cautionary blanket thrown over their hips, and lots of eye contact. They were getting plenty of eye contact here too, but they were definitely towing the line between “lovemaking” and “fucking” and Blaine revelled in every minute of it. 

”Ungh—“ Kurt choked out as Blaine squeezed his muscles around him. “Your ass Blaine—“

It was Blaine’s turn to laugh at Kurt’s worship, and he picked up the pace, churning his hips faster and harder as he went. He had a pretty good angle, but he was having trouble reaching his prostate, so he let go of the headboard and leaned back, planting his palms on the bed by Kurt’s knees. And there...

”FUCK!” He shouted as Kurt’s cock finally made contact with his prostate, “Right there, fuck, fuck—“

“Oh shit, Blaine” Kurt moaned in response, lifting his own hips in time to Blaine’s movements, and Blaine felt tears prick at his eyelids at the intensity of it. He hadn’t had sex that felt like this in a long time, and he had forgotten how much better it felt to have sex with someone you loved. He watched as Kurt watched him, knew what he must have looked like with this cock bouncing obscenely between the two of them, and that image brought him suddenly right to the edge.

”I’m not going to last much longer,” he choked out, reaching to grasp his cock in his hand. Kurt removed his own hand from where it was fisting the sheets, and slapped Blaine’s hand away before replacing it with his own. 

“Come for me, Blaine” he whispered, tugging at Blaine’s cock harshly, and Blaine couldn’t help but obey. He felt the splash of come hit his stomach and watched it dribble over Kurt’s hand. He knew he was babbling nonsensical things, as the strength of his orgasm made the edges of his vision foggy. It seemed to go on forever, and Blaine felt tears leak down his cheeks as he finally came down. 

“Come in me, I want to feel it,” Blaine whispered, still churning his hips through the sensitivity, and he watched as Kurt’s face crumpled into that familiar expression that teenage Blaine had fixated on. He felt the throb of Kurt in him as he came, sobbing out his release, and Blaine felt profound satisfaction at the image.

After they were cleaned up, they lay together, Blaine spooned up behind Kurt with their fingers and legs laced. Kurt’s body was shaking with sobs, dampening the pillow underneath him, and Blaine let him cry without interruption. He knew it had to be hard, the first time being intimate with someone after the death of your spouse, and he wasn’t surprised by the strength of Kurt’s reaction. 

Blaine didn’t know how long they lay there, Kurt’s breath shaky as he cried, but eventually his gasps for air slowed.

”Are you okay?” Blaine asked, squeezing Kurt’s hands gently in his.

”I don’t know,” Kurt replied honestly, turning over in Blaine’s arms. “I didn’t expect to get so emotional, I’m sorry.”

”Don’t apologize for that,” Blaine replied, running his hand along Kurt’s flushed cheek.

”I feel guilty,” Kurt whispered, fresh tears spilling out of his red eyes.

”Why?” Blaine asked, though he was certain he knew the answer.

”For enjoying that...for falling in love with you,” Kurt said shakily, gripping Blaine’s hands tightly in his own. “It feels like I’m insulting his memory.”

”Hey, you know that’s not true. He told you he wanted you to find happiness. You deserve to be loved, to enjoy your life even though his was taken too soon. But...it’s okay if you want to feel guilty for a little while longer, I’m not going anywhere.”

Kurt smiled shakily before a fresh batch of sobs wracked his body, the grief that came with his newfound happiness battling within him. Blaine knew there wasn’t much he could say to make Kurt feel better, but there was one thing he had to get off his chest.

“You should know,” he began, releasing a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding. “I’m falling in love with you too.”

Kurt craned his neck and pressed a kiss to Blaine’s lips before replying, “I know.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little sappy, oops! Hope you enjoy!

**Saturday, June 1, 2024**

KPOV

Grief is a strange thing.

Kurt had long since formed a friendship with grief, an unending presence in his life for the past twenty-two years, and yet it had still found a way to surprise him. He didn’t expect it to flood his body in the immediate aftermath of being intimate with Blaine. He spent days imaging the moment they came together again, but something deep inside him had been waiting for the opportunity to break free. The sobs tore through his chest like shockwaves, and he didn’t know how to slow them.

The grief always hit him differently at different stages of his life. At eight, he grieved the loss of his mother by withdrawing from his friends, and trying to slip into the hole she had left in an attempt to help his father. He cried only in the darkness, and spent his days watching for her out the window, even with the knowledge that she was never coming back.

When he was nineteen, the grief was tangible. He felt it like a pain in his chest when he watched his parents navigate life with one less child. He felt it in his bones when he comforted Rachel, when he watched old videos, when he passed by someone abnormally tall. The shocking unexpectedness of Finn’s death affected the grief too, making it hit him always in moments of forgetfulness. 

“I should text him about...” and then the remembering. That was the worst for Kurt at nineteen.

At twenty-six, Kurt was well acquainted with grief. It greeted him like an old friend as it arrived, the familiar ache in his chest only amplified by the reality of his future. Kurt had been prepared for it’s arrival, watching Justin slowly lose the essence of himself in that hospital bed, yet it was still a surprise when it came. In the days, weeks, months, that followed Justin’s death, grief clung to Kurt like a weighted blanket. He felt it in every breath he took, pushing on his chest in his struggle for air, his bones aching with the exertion of it. 

But like anything, the weight slowly grew lighter. First, he dragged himself from the depths of his misery out of necessity and moved about his life with the weight resting heavy on his shoulders. Over time, it grew lighter and lighter, until it was no more than a feather touch, whispering down on him to tickle at the back of his neck when he least expected it. But the burden wasn’t too much to bear.

But this. Kurt had underestimated this.

***

When Kurt awoke, the sky outside was still dark but for a thin slash of moonlight that pushed through the gap in the curtains. Blaine was pressed up close to him, every inch of his naked body meshing with Kurt’s skin, and he took a moment to breathe him in. In those last moments before sleep the night before Kurt had panicked. He was terrified that in the morning he’d wake up and forget who he was in bed with. That he’d hear steady breathing and mistake Blaine for him. He worried that the name that would fall out of his lips in the early morning confusion would not fit with his current reality. 

That fear was gone the moment he woke up. He hadn’t considered the fact that not everyone breathes in the same way. That Blaine had a small hitch in his breath on every inward gasp, immediately distinct from the days Kurt spent waking up next to his husband. 

His body felt different, too. Justin was long and muscled, far encompassing Kurt in size, and to be surrounded by him was to be nearly engulfed. Blaine was small, and had always been smaller than Kurt was, and now softer in the middle than he had been in their youth. Their legs were tangled together tightly, and Kurt could feel that Blaine was not nearly as hairy as Justin had been. Kurt knew that this was not his husband from the moment his senses kicked into action. And he was grateful for it. 

And then, as if Blaine had sensed that Kurt was no longer asleep, his eyes peeled open.

”Everything okay?” He asked, voice harsh and groggy with sleep.

”I don’t know,” Kurt replied honestly. How could he even begin to sort out what was going on in his brain? He felt odd, a mix of sadness and joy that he had only felt once before, in that surreal moment he watched the twins come into the world just weeks after Justin’s passing. He hadn’t known it was possible to feel such profound sadness and joy all at once. 

”I don’t know,” he repeated, turning over so they were lying nose-to-nose. Blaine’s eyes were oozing sympathy, and he let his hands rub up and down Kurt’s back.

”That’s okay,” Blaine replied. “You don’t have to know. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

”I do though,” Kurt replied, leaning into Blaine’s touch. “I want to give you one.”

”If that’s what you want...I’m listening.”

”I didn’t know it would feel like that,” Kurt started, clinging to Blaine’s steady breaths like a lifeline as he allowed a few more tears to escape. “I was so excited to be with you again that ignored that other feeling that would come from having sex with someone other than him. I hadn’t expected it to hit me so hard. I’m sorry that I made things uncomfortable for you.”

”Kurt,” Blaine started, eyes brimming with emotion. “I promise you that I didn’t mind. Frankly, I was expecting something like this to happen.”

“You were?” Kurt was properly crying now, making no move to wipe the tears away, just allowing himself to feel their hot tracks on his cheeks.

”Of course. Kurt, it’s been 4 years of abstinence since your husband died. His were the last hands to touch you. I knew that the first time it was someone else would be hard, I had mentally prepared for it.”

”I wish I had known to prepare for it,” Kurt replied, letting out a harsh laugh. “I thought I’d made my peace with the idea but I guess not.”

”It’ll probably take awhile before you’re fully comfortable with me again. And that’s okay.”

”Wait, no...I am comfortable with you. There’s not many people I trust with my body and you have been near the top of that list for over a decade. Don’t be concerned about that. I think I just need to get used to it.”

”We can take all the time you need.”

They lapsed into silence again, Blaine still diligently stroking his hand up and down Kurt’s back. Kurt let himself cry some more, though it was much easier to control now than it had been the night before, and this time his tears were different. He still cried for the ache in his heart from the space Justin had left there, but he also cried with joy. He could feel that Blaine was finding his space in Kurt’s intimate life again, setting up shop next to the place left by Justin, and Kurt cried for the promise in it. How was he so lucky to have someone so understanding? Someone who was finding his own place instead of trying to fit himself into the Justin-spaced hole in Kurt’s heart that Kurt knew would always be empty. Kurt knew that even if he fell in love one hundred times over, there would always be that small gap in his life that will never be filled. And he was okay with that. Having Blaine there made him feel a little less empty.

As his tears slowed, Kurt started to recall the details of their night together. He flushed at the memory, remembering the way he let go of himself. He suddenly was overwhelmed with the feeling of needing to share.

”I’d almost forgotten what it felt like,” Kurt whispered, still feeling a strange sense of embarrassment despite their current state of undress. He kept his eyes pressed closed, leaning into Blaine’s touch as he waited for his answer.

“What what felt like?”

”Sex...love...it’s nice. I didn’t realize I’d been missing it.”

”So it was good for you?” Blaine joked, laughing at Kurt’s blush.

”Better...you’ve learned some moves!”

“Well twelve years of lots of sex with different people will do that to a person.”

”Mmm,” Kurt replied. “Is it weird that I find that hot?”

”You do?”

”Yeah,” Kurt answered, still feeling a little shy to share his intimate thoughts. “There’s something about you being so confident and comfortable with your body that really gets me.”

”I wasn’t so confident last night,” Blaine confessed, a light blush forming high on his cheeks. “I was a little embarrassed.”

”Why?” Kurt felt himself frown. “You didn’t seem embarrassed!”

”I was shy about you seeing my body...a lot has changed since we were together. I’m not nearly as fit and smooth as I used to be.”

”You’re perfect to me,” Kurt replied, tilting his head to place a soft kiss on Blaine’s lips. “I meant what I said...you’re hotter than I remembered.”

“Is it weird that I’m getting a little turned on right now?”

Kurt laughed and closed the gap between them again, sitting up slightly as he deepened the kiss. He felt Blaine harden against his hip, and let his hand find it’s way down. Blaine mimicked the action, groaning into Kurt’s mouth as he moved.

They continued like this for awhile, hands moving slowly over each other before Kurt got an idea. He abruptly pulled away with Blaine whimpering in protest, and reached his hand into the nightstand drawer where he found the lube last night. He slicked them both up before throwing his leg over Blaine’s lap and straddling him. He hovered for a moment, watching Blaine pant beneath him before speaking.

”This okay?”

”Jesus, Kurt get down here already!” Blaine replied, grasping Kurt’s hips and pulling him down until he lay flush, cocks brushing together. They groaned together as they made contact and soon found a steady rhythm.

This was so different from last night. Last night was a line in the sand, a distinct attempt to separate the then and now. They did things that their younger selves never dared to try, and the sheer adult-ness of it was overwhelming. But now they were back, rubbing against each other like they had so many times before, and Kurt was in awe of the feeling of Blaine moving against him. 

“You feel so good,” Blaine whispered, the last syllable accompanied by a hitch in breath at a particularly hard thrust. 

“So do you,” Kurt replied, attaching his lips to Blaine’s neck. 

“Ungh, Kurt,” Blaine moaned, arching his neck to give Kurt better access. 

It didn’t take long after that, both spilling and mixing on each other’s torsos. Kurt felt his arms give up, and he snuggled into Blaine’s chest while ignoring the mess between them for a moment. He felt the emotion thick in his throat, the tears threatening once more, but he willed them away to allow himself to be present in the moment instead.

***  
When Kurt woke again, the sunlight was streaming in through the curtains with no trace of the rain from the night before. His phone time said 8:30, and he knew they had to get up soon so they could go for their pre-recital brunch. 

He felt Blaine stirring next to him and he pressed a kiss to his lips.

”I could get used to waking up like this,” Blaine mumbled against Kurt’s mouth. 

“I wish we could stay here all day,” Kurt replied. “We’ve never done that, stayed in bed all day.”

”One day we will,” Blaine said. “But today, you have dad duties.” With that, he climbed out of bed, stretching his hands over his head. Kurt couldn’t help his eyes from roving up and down Blaine’s naked body in the daylight, as Blaine flushed under the attention.

”Shower with me?” He asked, crossing the room and opening the door to his ensuite. Kurt didn’t stay in bed very long after that.

After a shower that ended in another orgasm each, Kurt pulled on his clothes from last night while Blaine got himself ready. Kurt was planning on fixing himself up at home.

”Are you sure you don’t mind me coming along today?” Blaine asked, standing at the sink as he styled his unruly hair. “I don’t mind giving you space to spend time with your family.”

”Blaine, come on. Of course I want you there!” Kurt replied, straightening the rumpled bed sheets. “Besides, I promised the kids you would come, they would be devastated if I turned up without you!”

”They’re sweet,” Blaine replied, coming out of the bathroom with a towel slung low on his hips, hair finally under control. 

Kurt couldn’t help but reach over and tug on the towel, smirking in satisfaction as it pooled at Blaine’s feet. 

“Hey, don’t start something you can’t finish!” Blaine laughed, picking up the towel before crossing the room naked to hang it back up. 

“I’m just admiring the view,” Kurt replied, sitting down on the bed to watch Blaine get dressed. 

Eventually they found themselves walking up to Kurt’s apartment hand in hand. They kissed once more before letting go, as they had decided it was still too early to tell the kids they were dating. When they entered the apartment, they were greeted by endless excited chatter. 

Kurt left Blaine in the family room with the kids and his parents as he made his way to his room to get ready. He knew he blushed when he saw his dad, knew that he was perfectly aware of what they had spent the night doing. 

Kurt hadn’t looked very hard at himself in the mirror at Blaine’s (he was far too distracted by the naked man in the bathroom with him) so when he sat down at his vanity he was a little surprised by his appearance. His eyes were puffy and red from crying, and his hair had dried much flatter than he was comfortable with. As he got a cold compress ready to help reduce the swelling, he wondered if his parents had noticed when he came in. His question was answered only a few minutes later.

”Knock knock,” came Burt’s voice from where he was leaning against the doorframe. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course,” Kurt said, setting down the compress before reaching for his moisturizer. He watched through the mirror as Burt perched on the end of Kurt’s bed, watching him as he massaged the cream into his skin.

”Is everything okay, Kurt?” Burt asked, scrutinizing him carefully through the mirror. 

“Everything is great, why do you ask?” Kurt asked, though he was sure he already knew the answer.

“C’mon Kurt, I know you better than that. What’s going on? Did Blaine, uh, did he force you...”

”Oh my god Dad, no!” Kurt said quickly, not wanting to hear the end of that sentence. “How could you think that?” 

“Well you come in here with your eyes looking like you were up all night crying, what am I supposed to think?”

”Okay you got me, I did cry a lot last night but not for the reason you think,” Kurt said, feeling the blush start to stain his cheeks. “Everything that happened between us last night was consensual.”

“Okay, well if you say you’re okay, I’m not going to pry.” Burt said, raising his hands up in surrender. “As long as you promise me that everything is okay with Blaine.”

”It is Dad, I promise.”

”Good,” Burt said simply as he stood up from the bed. He walked over and rested his hand on Kurt’s shoulder for a moment before heading for the door. He was almost into the hallway before Kurt spoke again.

”Dad...can I ask you something? It’s kind of...personal.”

“Of course buddy, what’s up?” Burt replied, returning to his seat on Kurt’s bed. 

Kurt couldn’t believe that he was about to bring this up with his father, but he could do with advice from someone who understood. 

“After Mom died, how long did you wait before being...um...intimate...with someone?”

”Oh,” Burt replied, clearly surprised by the nature of his question. Kurt didn’t talk about sex freely, even Burt knew that. “Well, the first time was Carole. I guess that was about eight years after your mom.”

Kurt didn’t reply but he nodded before falling into silence.

”Why do you ask?” Burt eventually said when he realized that Kurt wasn’t going to voluntarily offer up additional information.

“I’m just wondering if I jumped back in too soon. Was four years long enough to wait?” 

“Only you can answer that, Kurt,” Burt answered, shrugging his shoulders. “Only you know your heart and your mind. Did you feel ready?”

”I was so ready.”

”So why are you worried?” Burt asked, frowning slightly.

”Because,” Kurt replied, pointedly avoiding eye contact through the mirror has he started on his hair. “Afterword...I cried. I didn’t expect it but I got really emotional,” Kurt was embarrassed by his confession but he willed himself to keep going. “Justin was the last person to touch me in that way...I felt more upset than I had in years.”

”That’s nothing to be worried about,” Burt replied, his tone softer now. “Sex can be very overwhelming in the best of times. It’s okay that you felt emotional, I would’ve expected it honestly. How was Blaine about it?”

”He was amazing, he just hugged me and let me cry. But I still feel embarrassed, like I lost control of myself.”

”Being able to lose control of yourself is what a partnership is for. You know Blaine has a big heart, I’m sure he wasn’t upset with your reaction.”

”I know...I just don’t want him to feel like he’s living in my dead husband’s shadow. I felt so guilty, like I was cheating on him or something, even though I know that’s silly.”

”Well you and I both know that Blaine occupies a different part of your heart and he always has. It’s not a competition, you have room for both of them. And it will get easier, I promise.”

”Thanks Dad,” Kurt said, finally allowing himself to look up and make eye contact with his father. His eyes were watery, but he held Kurt’s gaze with a small smile.

”You deserve this Kurt,” Burt said, getting up and resting his hand on Kurt’s shoulder again. “You deserve to have love, you know that’s what Justin would’ve wanted.”

***  
Kurt felt considerably lighter after his conversation with his dad. He was glad that he had swallowed his embarrassment and asked for his advice because his dad always gives the best advice.

After Kurt finished getting ready, they headed out for brunch: Burt, Carole, the kids, Kurt and Blaine. Kurt couldn’t deny the thrill in his heart as they sat around the table together. 

During the recital, he clasped Blaine’s hand as he watched his babies dance across the stage. He cried a little seeing Jack and Alice in their little ballet class, spinning around off tempo, and waving their tiny hands in his direction. He was so grateful to have Blaine squeezing his hand through it all. It was hard not to feel Justin’s absence at this occasion too, and Kurt was aching from the emotional exhaustion that came along with it. He couldn’t help the thoughts that flashed through his mind reminding him that this is not how his life was supposed to go.

Kurt was not meant to sit at this dance recital with Blaine’s hand wrapped in his. Blaine was supposed to remain firmly in his past, occupying that small piece of the heart that was reserved for one’s first love. But he could feel that the small piece was growing. 

He thought hard about what his father had said, about there being room for two. He knew he would love Justin until the day he died. But he also knew that his heart could accommodate them both, and for that he was thankful. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the increasingly long delays on this story. It’s been a very busy time over here and I’m getting the chapters out as fast as I can. Thank you for all the continued support!
> 
> Just a heads up, there is a time shift in this chapter! Also, if sex and embarrassing sex talks aren’t your thing, this chapter probably won’t be for you... ;)

**Tuesday, July 2,** **2024**

BPOV

**K- What are you up to right now?**

**B- At 10:30 in the morning on a summer weekday? Drinking coffee on my fire escape. Why do you ask?**

**K- Hmm, well, I *may* have just faked a migraine at work so I could come home to my empty house in the hopes that you would come over?**

Blaine felt his cheeks heat at the suggestion. It had been just over a month since they had started being intimate again, and finding time to be alone had been a challenge. In a way it was eerily reminiscent of their teenage love, finding quick moments together at all kinds of strange hours. It helped that Blaine was off work for the summer as it allowed him the flexibility to be available whenever Kurt found a stolen moment. Usually Kurt would come to him, telling his nanny Andrea that he had to work a little late before leaving early and swinging by Blaine’s on the way home for a few hurried orgasms. It was eager and sweet, and Blaine felt like he was seventeen again.

**B- oooh an empty house?? Where might your children be?**

**K- they’re having “Auntie day” with Santana and Britt. They are going to the zoo and then hanging out at their apartment before I head over there later for dinner. So...**

**B- no chance of being interrupted?? I’m so in.**

***

An hour later found Blaine letting himself into Kurt’s apartment. He locked the door behind him, making sure to secure the chain lock to ensure that they wouldn’t be interrupted. The apartment was quiet without the kids, and Blaine could hear every footstep he took in the hallway as he walked toward the kitchen.

”Kurt?” He called when he reached the kitchen and found no sign of his boyfriend.

”Bedroom!” Came Kurt’s voice from down the hall.

”I brought us bagels,” Blaine said as he set the bag down in the kitchen. He picked up the coffees he bought and made his way down the hallway towards Kurt’s bedroom. “I also got you an iced coffee, but I wasn’t sure—“

Blaine almost dropped the coffees at the sight in front of him.

There was Kurt, propped up against the headboard fully naked, stroking his cock lazily. His eyebrows rose in amusement at Blaine’s dumbfounded expression. 

“What took you so long?” He asked innocently, smiling a little without stilling his hand. “Put those down and get over here!”

Blaine had to admit that he had rather naively assumed that Kurt was in his bedroom changing out of his work clothes, or watching tv. He definitely didn’t expect THIS. Kurt was still somewhat shy around Blaine, usually waiting for Blaine to initiate their encounters, and he had certainly never touched himself in front of him. Blaine felt stunned for a moment, watching Kurt’s hand move determinedly, and took a moment to commit the sight to memory before setting the coffees down on Kurt’s vanity.

”Jesus Kurt,” Blaine said as he pulled his tshirt over his head and made his way over to the bed. He shimmied out of his shorts before sitting down, clad only in his bright pink boxer briefs.

”Pink, huh?” Kurt laughed, snapping the waistband as soon as Blaine was close enough to touch.

”They’re fun for summer!” Blaine explained, reaching down and batting Kurt’s hand away from his cock, replacing it with his own. “Sorry to keep you waiting, but it seems like you had no trouble starting on your own.”

Kurt blushed and brought his lips to Blaine’s, kissing him deeply for a few moments. 

“I was too turned on by the thought of middle-of-the-day sex with you that I couldn’t wait...plus it was worth it to see the look on your face!”

”Well I’ve never seen you do THAT before,” Blaine laughed, quickening his movements on Kurt’s cock and enjoying the groan that fell from Kurt’s lips. “You’re so hot.”

Kurt laughed before batting his hand away and reaching for the bright pink waistband of Blaine’s boxer briefs. Hovering over Blaine, he eased them down his hips until Blaine’s cock sprung free. Kurt licked his lips and made eye contact, eyes dark with desire before kissing all the way down Blaine’s body, starting with the hollow of his neck. Blaine groaned deeply as Kurt tickled kisses across his belly, hips and inner thighs. He looked up once more and waggled his eyebrows before taking Blaine all the way to the back of his throat. 

“Oh fuck, Kurt,” Blaine babbled, threading his fingers through Kurt’s perfect hair and tugging a little. Kurt moaned at the sensation of having his hair pulled which sent shockwaves of pleasure through Blaine. “You’re so fucking good at this, holy shit.”

It didn’t take long before Blaine was pushing Kurt off of him muttering that he was too close.

”Fuck me please,” Blaine begged, pulling Kurt’s lips up to meet his own. They kissed deep and dirty for awhile, pushing their hips together so their cocks were aligned before Blaine started begging again.

”Okay, top drawer,” Kurt instructed as he leapt off the bed. 

“Wait, where are you going?” Blaine asked, thoroughly confused by the abrupt turn that this had taken.

”I need to check that the door is locked! I will not be caught having sex today.”

”I locked it, don’t worry! Besides, I thought you said they were out all day!”

”You never know! Something could happen and they could decide to come back here and I can’t risk being seen having sex by my children...or Santana! I just need to see for myself that it’s locked!” 

With that Kurt headed for the door, still buck naked, and Blaine leaned over to the nightstand. The top drawer was sticky, and he had to pull hard to get it open. The motion of his heavy pulling caused a certain object to roll from where it had been nestled at the back of the drawer.

For a second Blaine could do nothing but gape at what he had found. The sound of Kurt’s returning footsteps made him snap out of his daze and grab the lube and a few condoms before shoving the drawer closed with a loud snap. 

“Okay, there is no chance that we’ll be rudely interrupted,” Kurt said as he walked back into the room. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Blaine’s face, frowning slightly. “What’s wrong?”

”Nothing!” Blaine replied a little too quickly. Kurt didn’t look convinced, and after a moment his gaze drifted to the nightstand as his cheeks darkened. Blaine knew then that Kurt had realized exactly what had happened.

“Um...I don’t want to talk about it,” Kurt said before crossing the room and laying back down on the bed.

”We don’t have to,” Blaine said. He didn’t want to make Kurt too uncomfortable by forcing him to talk about something he didn’t want to. To clear the obvious tension in the air, Blaine rolled over and kissed Kurt deeply, resting his hands on Kurt’s ass and pulling him roughly against him.

”Mmm,” Kurt groaned into his mouth, reaching his own hands up to cup Blaine’s face. They continued thrusting together until Kurt pulled away. 

“As much as I love this, if we want to get to the actual fucking we better start now.” Kurt said. “Would you...would you stretch yourself? I would really like to see that.” 

Blaine felt a rush of desire at Kurt’s shy request, and wasted no time reaching over and grabbing the lube from where he had dropped it on the bed. He slicked up two of his own fingers before leaning back on the pillows. Kurt had settled down on his side with his hands pillowed under his head as he watched Blaine’s movements. Blaine’s eyes sought out Kurt’s and with steady eye contact held, he gently thrust both of his fingers inside himself.

There was something so intimate about looking into someone’s eyes while you buried your own fingers inside yourself, and Blaine felt overwhelmed. Kurt looked deep into his eyes as Blaine brushed his prostrate and gasped, leaving Blaine feeling amazingly exposed. Kurt couldn’t see what he was doing with his fingers, so Blaine told the story with his facial expressions, enjoying the way Kurt flushed with desire.

”That’s so hot,” Kurt murmured, biting his lip and glancing down. He moaned when he saw the fingers disappearing into Blaine’s body. He watched from that angle for a moment before giving in and crawling to the foot of the bed to get a better view. 

“I love doing this,” Blaine said, spreading his legs further to give himself more space and working a third finger inside. It was probably too soon, and the third one burned as he shoved it in but Blaine was desperate to get Kurt inside him. Kurt’s eyes were wide and dark, his hand soft where it stroked Blaine’s thigh.

“I love watching you do that,” Kurt confessed, eyes drifting back and forth between Blaine’s thrusting fingers and his face, mouth parted with desire. Without shifting his gaze, Kurt ripped open a condom and rolled it on, slicking himself up with lube.

Blaine spread his fingers as far as they would go a few more times before deciding that he was ready. He pulled them out with an obscene sound, and wiped them off on the towel that Kurt had placed by the bed earlier. He flipped over and raised himself up on his knees, keeping his elbows planted on the bed. 

“Like this,” he said, looking over his shoulder at where Kurt was stroking himself.

”Mmm, yes,” Kurt replied, raising himself up on his knees and lining up with Blaine’s entrance. He didn’t push in right away, but rubbed the head slightly against Blaine.

“Fuck, stop teasing!” Blaine exclaimed, shifting back on his knees to try and plunge Kurt into him. Kurt laughed.

”Desperate are we?” He said, dragging his cock along Blaine’s ass again. 

Blaine dropped his head in frustration and whined, shifting on his knees again. Finally Kurt took pity on him and entered him slowly. Blaine cried out in relief and came up on his hands before thrusting back until Kurt was fully sheathed inside of him. They stayed still for a moment and then Kurt took charge, pulling out and plunging back in quickly. It didn’t take long before he set a solid pace, thrusting so hard that the headboard tapped the wall behind it. Blaine wrapped his hand around one of the metal bars and brought his other hand to his own dick.

”So good,” Blaine moaned, pulling roughly on his dick in time with Kurt’s thrusting. “You feel so good,” Blaine couldn’t stop himself from pushing himself back to meet Kurt’s thrusts, and he was satisfied to hear Kurt gasping behind him. 

“So tight,” Kurt replied, running his hands along Blaine’s sweetly back. Each inward pass lined up perfectly with Blaine’s prostrate, and the pleasure was almost too much.

Blaine was just starting to feel the familiar tightening in his groin when Kurt abruptly changed tactics. He leaned over Blaine’s back and wrapped his arms around him until they met in the middle of Blaine’s chest. He roughly pulled Blaine up until he was sitting back on his heels, with Blaine perched in his lap. 

“Oh FUCK,” Blaine shouted, feeling Kurt deeper inside him than ever before. He started bouncing on Kurt’s dick, nearly sobbing from exertion. Kurt held him upright as he rose on his legs to meet his backward thrusts. Kurt brought his hand down to Blaine’ cock and timed his strokes to his thrusts. It didn’t take long after that before Blaine was coming all over his chest and the bed in front of him.

The second he finished Kurt pushed him forward and held him down, pounding him into the mattress until he came too. If Blaine hadn’t just came a second earlier, he might have got hard again at the way Kurt held him down. It was so hot to have Kurt take charge and use him like that. 

Blaine was thoroughly spent, laying facedown on the mattress as Kurt puttered around him. The last thing he remembered before his eyes drifted shut was Kurt’s lips pressing in between his shoulder blades.

***

The midday sun was streaming in through the curtains when Blaine woke up to the feeling of the bed dipping as Kurt sat down. He carried the bag of bagels in one hand, and a couple plates in the other. The only thing he had on was a tiny pair of blue boxer briefs, and he sat cross legged on the bed as he opened the bag. 

”Ah, good morning sunshine,” he smirked when he noticed Blaine waking up.

”How long have I been asleep for?” Blaine asked, stretching his arms over his head. 

“About an hour?” Kurt said, glancing at the clock on his nightstand. “I figured it was time for some food after all that.”

Blaine swung his legs off the bed and reached for his pink boxer briefs and stepped into them before climbing back onto the bed. Kurt’s eyebrow was arched in a silent question.

”It doesn’t feel right to be the only one with my dick out while we’re eating,” he said by way of explanation, taking the bagel and cream cheese that Kurt was handing him. 

“Ugh my legs are killing me,” Kurt said, stretching out his left leg and flexing his toes. “They aren’t used to that kind of exertion!”

Blaine laughed and massaged his fingers into Kurt’s stretched leg. “I mean, you’ll have to work on that,” He winked at Kurt.

They sat and ate in silence for awhile, occasionally exchanging goofy grins and cream cheese kisses. Once the food was gone, they lay back down on the bed, nose-to-nose. 

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Blaine asked, mind flashing back to that uncomfortable moment earlier when he saw something private in Kurt’s drawer.

”I don’t know,” Kurt replied honestly, chewing on his lip. 

“You’re allowed to use sex toys, Kurt, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 

“I know,” Kurt replied, blushing deeply when he heard Blaine say it outright. “I just...feel a little embarrassed, I guess.”

”You don’t have to! I have a few dildos and vibrators myself,” Blaine shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. “It really isn’t a big deal! I guess I was just surprised. You never really seemed interested in...receiving?”

”Yeah, I wasn’t,” Kurt replied. “The idea honestly terrified me. I was never comfortable with the idea of having something inside me.”

***

 **Friday, December 23** , **2011**

BPOV

Dark snow was swirling outside the kitchen window that afternoon as freshly baked sugar cookies cooled on the counter. The Hummel-Hudson household was quiet- Carole and Burt were both at work, and Finn was off somewhere with Rachel. The old radio on the windowsill was pumping out classic Christmas carols, and Blaine was certain that this was what happiness was. 

Kurt was bent over the table, mixing bowls of coloured icing, and setting the cookies on plates. 

“Okay, what do you want to do? Christmas trees, snowmen, or gold stars?”

”Trees!” Blaine exclaimed, reaching for the colourful sprinkles and green icing. 

Blaine would have been happy to forgo cookie making all together for the chance to roll around naked with his boyfriend, but Kurt was very serious about his baking schedule. Although he did humour Blaine and allow a few quick hand jobs up against Kurt’s bedroom door before diving into the cookie making festivities. Kurt was laughing the whole time at the absurdity of the way Blaine had held his apron to the side to get better access to his dick, and Blaine loved seeing Kurt so carefree.

Now they sat in amicable silence, icing their cookies and singing along to the radio.

“Can I ask you something?” Kurt said, scraping the white icing off his knife.

”Of course!” Blaine replied, interest immediately piqued. Kurt only ever asked permission to ask a question if it was something serious.

”Are you satisfied? Sexually, I mean?” Kurt’s cheeks glowed red, but he maintained steady eye contact.

”Oh!” Blaine said, surprised at the topic choice. “Of course! I love what we do.”

”I just wonder if you ever want anything...more?” 

Kurt was fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth as he waited for Blaine’s answer, chewing on his bottom lip. Blaine was quite sure of what Kurt was referring to, because at this point they had done pretty much everything, but he wanted to hear him say it.

”Do you have something in mind?” Blaine asked, reaching over to where Kurt’s hand was still fidgeting and covering it with his own.

”Um...” Kurt looked rather embarrassed, but he still grasped Blaine’s hand in his own tightly. “I guess I was wondering if you’d be interested in maybe, um, going further?”

Blaine decided to put Kurt out of his misery. “Do you mean like anal?”

Blaine didn’t think it was possible for Kurt to get any redder but he was wrong. The flush had spread down his neck, and his hand was clammy in Blaine’s own.

”Yes...that.” He eventually answered, making eye contact with Blaine again. “Is that something you’d be interested in?”

Blaine felt a rush of heat at the suggestion, and a certain part of his anatomy reminded him that he was very much interested in that particular activity.

”Definitely,” he answered, enjoying the small smile that creeped up on Kurt’s features in response. Blaine couldn’t help but smile back, and the two sat there grinning stupidly at each other for an indeterminate amount of time. 

“I suppose there are some things that we should discuss,” Blaine said eventually, dropping Kurt’s hand and reaching for his knife to finish icing the cookies. “Probably a good idea to talk about these things ahead of time instead of waiting until the heat of the moment.”

”What did you have in mind?” Kurt asked, also picking up his knife and dipping it into the icing. 

“Well,” Blaine felt himself blush, and he was grateful to have something to do with his hands to distract himself. He tipped out bright coloured sprinkles onto the green trees as he choked out, “do you have a preference? Top or bottom?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt said in a way that indicated that he definitely did know but was too embarrassed to say. “Do you?”

Blaine decided that Kurt needed him to be the one to take charge of the conversation, so he opened himself up and replied, “I would like to bottom.”

”Oh,” Kurt said, expression laced with surprise. 

Blaine laughed and asked, “does that shock you?” 

“I don’t know,” Kurt laughed a little too. “I suppose I just expected you to want me to bottom.”

”Why would your assume that?”

”Because I’m so...feminine?” Kurt blushed, keeping his gaze firmly on the table in front of him.

Blaine’s heart sunk and he reached across the table again for Kurt’s hand.

”Hey, that doesn’t mean anything! Anyone can enjoy being on the bottom, it doesn’t have to be the more traditionally feminine one. You are a product of the patriarchy Mr. Hummel.” 

“So you would want me to...?”

”If I’m being honest,” Blaine flushed. “I’ve been fantasizing about having you in me for a long time now.”

“Oh!” Kurt looked pleased at the suggestion, and they smiled sheepishly at each other again. “Is that something that you’ve...experimented with?” Kurt asked, blushing hard at the direct question.

Blaine felt a rush of embarrassment about being asked outright if he used his fingers in himself when he masturbated, but he decided to be honest. “Yes, that’s something that I do.” 

“And you...like it?” Kurt asked nervously, watching Blaine carefully to see if he was overstepping.

”I love it,” Blaine answered, biting his bottom lip a little harder than necessary to keep himself grounded. “Have you ever...?”

”No,” Kurt replied quickly, shifting his gaze to a point behind Blaine’s shoulder. “I’m not interested in doing that. Ever.”

”Okay, that’s okay,” Blaine said quickly, eager to get Kurt’s eyes back on him. “It’s good, we’re compatible!” 

Kurt smiled in relief as Blaine’s mind went into overdrive. He was surprised at how firm Kurt was in his insistence that he wasn’t interested in bottoming. Blaine was interested in everything, open to anything, and he did feel the smallest pang of disappointment that he would never get the chance to be on top himself. He quickly shook the thought out of his mind, and let himself get lost in the idea of having Kurt inside him. That definitely made him feel better, and he grinned goofily at Kurt. 

“So, when should we do this?” Kurt asked, picking up the plates of finished cookies and setting them on the counter. “I want to make sure we do it somewhere we know we won’t be interrupted.”

”Well, Puck is having that New Years Party? Maybe we could do it that night?” 

“I’m already sleeping over at Mercedes’ that night!” Kurt said.

Blaine didn’t reply but raised his eyebrows. 

“Ah okay, got it, tell my dad that I’ll be sleeping at Mercedes’ but really be somewhere having,” Kurt coughed, “sex with you.” 

Blaine laughed and nodded. “I’ll tell my parents that I’m crashing at Puck’s and maybe we could rent a hotel room? Use those fake IDs?”

”That sounds perfect,” Kurt blushed before leaning over and fiddling with the knobs on the radio. Blaine suddenly noticed what song was playing and stood up, offering Kurt his hand. 

As they danced around the kitchen to “Baby it’s cold outside,” Blaine’s heart did summersaults in his chest. He knew now for sure that he had never been this happy.

***  
 **Tuesday, July 2,** **2024**

BPOV

”So, what changed?” Blaine asked, running his hand along Kurt’s jaw.

”Well,” Kurt said, capturing Blaine’s palm and kissing it. “Nothing changed for a very long time. The idea was completely horrifying to me and I never even considered it for years. But when I was with Justin, a few years into our relationship, I started to get curious. He seemed to love it so much, and I guess I wanted to know what it felt like.”

”So you bottomed with him?” Blaine asked, loving how open Kurt was being with him.

”No, I didn’t,” Kurt replied. “I wasn’t sure I wanted that, but I was curious about...fingers. But we never went further than that, and never more than two fingers. I wasn’t ready for anything more than that, and I wasn’t sure if I ever would be. I had been so anxious about being penetrated for basically as long as I had known about what sex would entail. The idea totally terrified me, but I found that I really enjoyed it when it was only fingers. But I never got brave enough to go further.”

Kurt paused, leaning into Blaine’s hand as it brushed along his jaw again. He lay quietly for a minute before speaking again.

”I bought the toys maybe a year ago. It had been just me alone for a few years, and I was getting...bored? Maybe? So I started using my own fingers, which was really hard for me to do at first because I had so many hang ups still. But eventually I got more comfortable and than I got brave and ordered those.” Kurt blushed, and shifted his gaze. 

“That’s so hot,” Blaine said, thoroughly enjoying the image that Kurt was describing. “You’ll have to show me how you use them sometimes.”

Kurt turned his face into the pillow and groaned. “I will never be brave enough to do that in front of you!”

Blaine laughed and said, “we’ll see,” before leaning over and capturing Kurt’s lips in his own. When they pulled apart, Kurt rested his hand on Blaine’s chest.

”Maybe soon though, we can try me on the bottom? I’ve been imaging what it would be like to try it with a real person, and I would love it to be you.” 

Blaine grinned widely and pulled Kurt close. 

“Soon,” he said. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are after another long delay! I’m so sorry that it’s taken so long but I promise you this story will not be abandoned! I have so much more to say!
> 
> Thank you for all the support!

**Friday, July 5, 2024**

KPOV

“Daddy?” 

Kurt grasped desperately at the edges of sleep as he was pulled awake by the soft whisper in his ear. He peeled his eyes open and a squinted in the dark at where Alice stood, her wild, curly hair shining in the moonlight. He glanced at his nightstand and saw that it was just past three in the morning.

”Al, what are you doing up?” He asked, voice groggy with sleep.

”I dreamed that you died,” she sniffed, clutching a stuffed bear to her chest. “So I got up to see if you were still here.”

”Oh, baby,” Kurt felt an uncomfortable pang in his chest as any last feelings of sleepiness faded away. He lifted up the edge of his blankets. “I’m okay, don’t worry. Come here.”

She didn’t hesitate to climb in, snuggling as close to him as she could get. Her hair tickled at Kurt’s chin, but he held her close.

“I’m right here,” he whispered, “don’t worry.” 

***

”I just don’t know what to do,” Kurt said to Blaine on the phone the next morning as he puttered around his room, laying out his clothes for the day. 

“So she thinks you’re going to die?” Blaine replied.

”Yes, it’s so strange, it came on so suddenly. She just recently started having these nightmares and I have no idea what triggered it.”

”Hmmm.”

”I know! I don’t know what to say. I can’t promise her that I won’t die because then if something were to happen she’d feel betrayed. But I also want to make the nightmares stop.”

”I wish I had the answer, Kurt,” Blaine replied. Kurt heard the sound of toilet flushing on the other end and laughed in spite of himself.

”Did you just pee while on the phone with me?” He gasped in mock outrage. 

“What, we can have sex but hearing me pee is crossing a line?” Blaine was laughing over the sound of rushing water in the sink. 

“I guess I’ll forgive you, but just this once! Anyways, I know you don’t have an answer, I just needed to vent.”

”I know...it will all work out, don’t worry,” Blaine replied. “On another note, I woke up drenched in sweat. The AC is down in my unit again. During a heat wave!”

“Again? Ew, don’t expect me to come over until it’s fixed!” Kurt replied, inspecting his outfit in his mirror.

”I wouldn’t dare allow you to suffer in this. The hottest day of the summer so far, terrible timing. Thankfully my landlord works quickly, someone is coming by to check it out in a bit.”

”Oh good! Well I have to get going, I’m running way behind this morning.”

They said their goodbyes and Kurt left the apartment in a flurry, dropping kisses on tiny heads as he ran out the door.

***

**B- FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK**

**K- I prefer to go by “Kurt”**

**B- ugh sorry, bad day.**

**K- what’s going on?**

**B- my AC won’t be fixed until Monday. MONDAY!**

**K- oof, rough go. Why the delay?**

**B- they need some part or something that won’t be in until Monday. I will just have to melt until then**

Kurt gazed at the words on the screen and considered his options. He didn’t have to think for long before calling Blaine.

”Hello?” Came Blaine’s voice after only a few rings.

”Hello Blaine Warbler,” Kurt replied, fiddling with the pens on his work desk.

“What’s up?” Blaine asked, voice muddled with confusion. It wasn’t often that Kurt called him in the middle of the day.

”Well I was just thinking about your AC situation, and I was wondering—“ Kurt took a deep breath before continuing, “if you wanted to stay at my place this weekend?”

“Oh wow, really?” Blaine replied. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with that? With the kids being there and everything? I would sleep on the couch of course.”

”Don’t be silly!” Kurt said quickly, eager to ease Blaine’s worries. “Of course I’m comfortable with you staying with us. And you’ll sleep in my bed with me.”

”What will we tell the kids?”

”The truth,” Kurt replied, his heart beating erratically in his chest. “I’m ready to tell them that we’re together.”

”Wow, Gracie will be thrilled,” Blaine laughed. “Aren’t you worried about them seeing us in the same bed though?”

”No, they’re too little to understand. Maybe if they were older and understood the uh, nature, of adult relationships I would be more hesitant but they don’t know about any of that.”

”Yes, true.”

”You’ll have to bring pajamas of course. There’s a pretty high chance that someone will find their way into the bed at some point in the night and you can’t be naked if that happens! Come to think of it, are you okay with them sleeping in the bed with us?”

”Oh yeah, that’s fine! You know I love them.”

”I know! And you’re cuddle crazy, you’re going to love the sleepy nighttime cuddles.” Kurt said, his heart clenching affectionately at the implication. 

“I’ll come by around 6?”

”See you then!”

***

Kurt had a spring in his step all afternoon at the idea of his sleepover with Blaine. He had been dying to wake up with him again and he couldn’t wait. But there was a part of him that was nervous too. What if the kids reacted badly? They had never known Kurt with a boyfriend and he didn’t want them to feel left out in any way. 

He was preoccupied for the rest of the work day as he continuously imagined the conversation and how it might go. He was sitting in on meetings and leaving without any idea of what was discussed. When he was finally able to escape, he swung by the supermarket to get ingredients for their fun Friday treat: tacos. He also picked up cupcakes as an afterthought because if things didn’t go well, they might need a little sugar bribery.

The kids were thrilled to find out that Blaine would be staying with them for the whole weekend. Kurt set up _Frozen_ on the TV as they planned out activities for them to do together. Kurt was thrilled at their excitement, and he couldn’t wait for Blaine to arrive. He bustled around the kitchen preparing the tacos, and he was just starting to chop lettuce to the soundtrack of Alice yell-singing to “Let it Go,” when a fight broke out.

”LET IT GOOOOOOOO, LET IT GOOOOOOOO, SOMETHING SOMETHING FLYYYYYYYY” 

”She’s saying ‘sky” dummy!” Grace snapped. Grace was usually level-headed, but not having school to escape her younger siblings was clearly getting to her.

“DON’T CALL ME THAT DUMMY FACE!”

”Okay, okay,” Kurt sighed, setting his knife down on the cutting board before heading to the family room to break it up before fists started flying. “We don’t call people ‘dummy’ or ‘dummy faces.’ It’s not nice to talk to people like that, especially not to people we love.”

”She was being a dummy,” Grace mumbled under her breath, crossing her arms and looking. 

“I WAS NOT, THAT’S HOW I SING IT!” Alice shrieked in response, as angry tears fell down her cheeks.

”Grace Ray Hummel, that is completely inappropriate. If you don’t apologize right now I will call Blaine and tell him not to come. Why would he want to have a sleepover with kids who can’t treat their sisters with kindness?”

”NO!” Grace yelled, uncrossing her arms. “Daddy!”

”You need to apologize right now and I won’t call him. Alice, you too.”

”Sorry,” Grace said begrudgingly, giving Alice a fleeting side-hug.

”S’okay,” Alice replied as she picked up the Elsa doll she had tossed on the floor in anger. “Sorry too.”

She resumed her singing, spinning around on her toes. Kurt could tell that Grace was still upset so he held out his hand to her and brought her into the kitchen. If Kurt has learned one thing about Grace, it’s that she needs space when she’s mad. She’s not mature enough to recognize when to remove herself from a situation so he does it for her.

From her seat at the island, Grace watched him chop lettuce and tomatoes.

”I’m sorry, Daddy,” she said, trailing her finger on the counter in a figure eight pattern.

”You don’t have to apologize to me, it’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to call people names.”

”I know, I was just mad that she always sings it wrong.”

”I know,” Kurt replied, piling the lettuce into a bowl. “But you have to remember that Alice is only 3, she’s not a big, smart 5-year-old like you. She’ll figure it out eventually.”

They chatted for a while longer, and eventually Grace was back to her usual bubbly self. Just as Kurt was setting the last dishes on the counter, he heard the doorbell ring. 

“BLAINEEEEEEE” Alice shrieked as she ran to the door with her siblings at her heels. Kurt heard Blaine’s laughing voice mingling with their excited chatter and he popped his head around the corner to say hi. 

Kurt’s heart leapt into his throat at the sight that greeted him. Blaine had Alice in his arms with Jack and Grace clinging to each leg. Alice had buried her hands into his hair and was fluffing it up as Blaine reached down to place his sunglasses over Jack’s eyes. He was laughing, the kids were laughing, and Kurt was swooning.

”Alright guys, let’s let Blaine come inside!” Kurt exclaimed, watching Blaine line his shoes up next to the door and place his overnight bag next to them.

”Perfect timing! I just finished dinner,” Kurt said as Blaine finally entered the kitchen, holding Jack’s hand tightly as Jack pushed the too-big sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. Kurt handed Blaine the IPA he had just poured and Blaine’s face lit up. 

“You have no idea how happy I am to be here right now,” Blaine said, happily accepting the beer. His eyes were twinkling with happiness, and Kurt longed to pull him into a deep kiss.

”Okay, let’s eat!”

Once everyone was settled with food in front of them, Kurt felt his heart start to pound erratically. He looked up at Blaine sitting on the other side of the table and cocked his eyebrow. “ _Now?”_ Blaine nodded and smiled reassuringly and Kurt took a deep breath.

”Can I ask you guys a question?” He started, looking around the table. Jack was walking a toy dinosaur through his crushed taco while Alice giggled next to him. Grace was eating her own taco neatly and gazing up at Kurt expectantly, nodding in response to his question. 

“Do you know what a boyfriend is?” Kurt asked, watching their faces carefully. 

“Oh yes!” Grace replied as she set her taco down. “A boyfriend is someone who you hug and kiss a lot.”

Alice scrunched up her nose. “Kissing? Yuck!”

“People also have girlfriends who they hug and kiss a lot,” Grace continued, giggling at Alice’s expression. She looked up at Kurt and Blaine, rolling her eyes as if to say “kids.” Both men chuckled.

”Yes that’s right. A boyfriend or a girlfriend is a very special person. Like a best friend only even more special! They are someone who cares about you the most and who you spend a lot of time with.”

”Can I have a boyfriend?” Jack asked, brow furrowed as he processed this new information. 

“One day when you’re old enough, you can have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It’s up to you.” Kurt replied.

”How do you know which one of them you want?” Alice asked, dunking her hand in the bowl of cheese as she asked. Kurt reached over and gently removed it before replying.

”When you become big, scary teenagers,” Kurt started, pulling a face and watching them laugh, “you’ll start to feel like you want to kiss people on the mouth. And maybe you’ll want to kiss girls on the mouth, or maybe boys, or sometimes even both!. Whoever you choose is up to you.”

”On the MOUTH?!” Alice exclaimed, eyes widening in horror. “I thought you were saying about cheeks not mouths.”

”Well yes, mouth kisses are only for boyfriends or girlfriends or husbands or wives- like Aunt Rachel and Uncle Jesse, or Aunt Santana and Aunt Brittany.”

”Oh,” Jack answered, clearly still trying to understand this new information. “I’ve seen ‘em kiss!”

”Yes! And that’s because they’re married.” Kurt said, catching Blaine silently laughing out of the corner of his eye. This was turning out to be a much longer conversation than he had anticipated. 

”Are you married, Daddy?” Alice asked, and Kurt felt his heart drop. He looked up at Blaine watching him and he gave a small nod and smile of encouragement. 

“Well, I was married! I was married to Daddy in heaven. You know about him,” Kurt said finally, pulse pounding loud in his ears.

”I know about him,” Alice rolled her little eyes, much to Kurt’s amusement. “I just didn’t know if you were married! Are you married now?”

”No, we had to stop being married when Daddy went to heaven. Do you understand that?”

”Yes,” Grace piped up. “Because he’s not here anymore so you can’t kiss and hug him which means you can’t be married.”

“That’s right,” Kurt felt his eyes prickle uncomfortably and he willed himself to keep going. “So now I’m here and I’m all alone! No special best friend to hug and kiss!”

”That’s sad,” Jack said quietly, patting his hand on Kurt’s in a comforting gesture which made both men laugh.

”It is sad! But you know what? I think it’s time that I got a boyfriend! What do you think?”

”I don’t want you to be alone anymore,” Grace answered, shrugging. “You need a special friend.”

”I think so too! So here’s a surprise: I have boyfriend! I found someone who I want to hug and kiss!”

”WHAT?!” Alice exclaimed, jumping up. “Who is it?” She demanded.

”Get this,” Kurt said, leaning forward conspiratorially. The kids leaned forward too and Kurt dropped his voice to a whisper. “It’s Blaine.”

“BLAINE?!” Grace shrieked, jumping in her chair. The other kids had similar reactions and their chattering became hard to understand. Kurt shushed them and waited for them to settle down.

”How do you feel about that?” He asked when everyone was settled again.

”That’s so exciting, Daddy,” Grace said. 

“I love Blaine,” Jack said quietly, sharing a sweet smile with Blaine that made Kurt swoon.

”You kiss Blaine?” Was all Alice had to say.

Kurt laughed, “yes I do.”

”Prove it!” Grace said, standing up in her excitement. “Kiss him now!” 

“Yes kiss, kiss!!” Jack chimed in, banging his dinosaur on the table. 

Kurt glanced over at Blaine who had raised his eyebrows in amusement. He nodded slightly so Kurt leaned over, leaving a quick peck on his lips.

The sound that erupted was outrageously loud for such tiny people. Grace and Jack were jumping and laughing while Alice looked horrified.

”EW!” She shrieked.

”Kiss again!” Grace demanded, laughing at Alice covering her eyes.

Kurt leaned over and kissed Blaine again, this time smiling against his lips as the children cheered around him.

***

”Blaine, will you read to us?”

Kurt had just finished getting the kids ready for bed and had brought them back out to say goodnight to Blaine when Jack went off script.

“Oh!” Blaine replied, glancing up at Kurt who shrugged. “Yes of course! Let’s go!”

Jack smiled and dragged Blaine off the couch by the hand and into his room. He pulled a book of the shelf and handed it to Blaine shyly.

”What a great book!” Blaine exclaimed. “Should we go back out and read it on the couch?”

“No, we lay in bed for story time!” Alice said, plopping down on her own. 

“That won’t work, there’s too many of us now,” Grace replied. ”We should lay in Daddy’s bed so we can all snuggle together.”

”Good plan,” Jack agreed, and the three headed out the door without a second thought.

Kurt glanced at Blaine, amused. 

“Well let’s not keep them waiting!” He said, wrapping his hand around Blaine’s. It was such a relief to be able to touch him without worrying about how his children would react.

When they entered the master bedroom, the kids had snuggled together on the bed with a Blaine-sized hole in between them. Blaine glanced at Kurt once more to see his nod of encouragement before climbing in between them and opening the book. Kurt cuddled up on the end, content to listen to Blaine read to his children. They giggled at the silly voices he used and asked questions about the story to hear the outrageous responses that Blaine would come up with.

”Okay, but how did that chicken end up in Minnesota if he was born in Alaska?”

”He took a jet plane of course!”

Kurt couldn’t keep the goofy grin off his face as he listened to Blaine reading, and he was suddenly overcome with emotion. It was so special that he had found a partner who treated his children with so much kindness. Wordlessly, he slipped off the bed and took a candid shot of the scene, all four subjects with their faces lit up with laughter.

By the time the story was done, the kids were all tired. Blaine made to head back to the family room when Alice stopped him.

”Aren’t you gonna tuck us in?” She asked, frowning at him.

”Yes, Blaine, tuck us in!” Jack chimed in, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s legs.

“Oh, yes! Of course, silly me!” Blaine replied, looking pleased. 

“Okay, twinsies first,” Kurt said, leading the way to Jack and Alice’s room. “You do Jack, I’ll do Alice and then we’ll switch.” He instructed Blaine.

Blaine seemed uncertain, and he carefully followed Kurt’s lead as he pulled the blankets around Jack. Jack reached his arms up and wrapped them around Blaine’s neck. 

“See you in the morning?” Jack asked.

”I’ll be here,” Blaine replied.

Kurt and Blaine then switched places and finished the job: quick hug before pulling the blankets around their chins.

”Not bad for an amateur,” Kurt teased, nudging Blaine with his shoulder as they left the twins’ door open a crack. Blaine chuckled and squeezed Kurt’s hand on their way to Grace’s room.

Blaine had just pulled away from Grace’s hug when she asked a question that somehow hadn’t come up all evening.

”Where are you sleeping?”

Blaine looked like a deer in headlights so Kurt decided to swoop in and save him.

”Blaine is sleeping in my bed with me,” he said as he switched places with Blaine, pulling Grace into a hug. 

“Daddy’s bed is soooo big, there’s lots of room for you,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Yes, that’s a great point!” Blaine replied, sharing an amused glance with Kurt.

”Okay, sleep time,” Kurt said, switching on her little night light and turning off the overhead. 

“See you guys in the morning,” she said sleepily, hugging a stuffed bear close to her chest as Kurt pulled the door shut.

***

“So you survived your first bedtime!” Kurt exclaimed, passing Blaine a glass of red wine before settling next to him on the couch. They tangled this legs together as they took their first sips and Kurt signed contentedly.

”That was surprisingly painless,” Blaine laughed, bring his hand up to rest on Kurt’s thigh.

”HA, just wait, they were on their best behaviour tonight. Last night Alice sat in the middle of the hallway and cried for a full hour because ‘bedtime is the worstest.’”

”Oh god,” Blaine laughed. “I hope I didn’t jinx it.”

”I’m almost certain that you did,” Kurt laughed with him. “But you’ll become a pro in no time.”

The grinned at each other as they sipped from their wine before Blaine spoke again. 

“So...I think it went well? Telling them?”

”Oh of course, they love you! To them it just means more Blaine time,” Kurt had to admit he was relieved. He knew the kids liked Blaine a lot, but there was a part of him that was worried that they might be hesitant of him taking on that role in Kurt’s life. 

They chatted for awhile longer, inching closer and closer on the couch until they were close enough to start kissing. Which they did.

When they surfaced for air, Blaine’s eyes were dark with desire. Kurt ran his hand down his jaw before saying, “bed?”

They both rose from the couch depositing their glasses in the sink and switching off lights. Blaine retrieved his bag from the front door and followed Kurt down the hall to his bedroom. On the way, Kurt was sure to stop at each door to listen to make sure everyone was sleeping. Once he was satisfied that they were out for the count, he pulled Blaine into his bedroom, pulling the door shut and clicking the lock. 

Blaine eyed him hungrily before pushing him onto the bed, silently peppering his body with kisses. Kurt resisted the urge to moan, biting his lip and tangling his fingers in Blaine’s hair. After a moment, he crawled back up and pressed his lips to Kurt’s. Eventually he pulled away, looking delightfully flushed.

”Is it weird doing this when the kids are home?” He whispered, biting his lip awkwardly.

“A little,” Kurt admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “But what are we supposed to do? Never have sex?”

”Well maybe we should only do it when they’re not home?”

”Look,” Kurt said, sitting up on his elbows. “I understand that it does feel a little weird, but this is something that parents battle with all the time. I’d like to think that eventually we’ll be living together, and in that case the kids will always be where we are. We just have to get creative and be quiet! I promise it’ll be okay. Besides, I’m extremely horny right now and if you don’t do something about it, I’ll lie right here and take of it myself.”

Blaine’s eyes darkened and he pulled Kurt into a deep kiss. “Is that a promise?” He asked when he pulled away, smirking.

”That was a threat!” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes. “Now put that mouth to use!”

Blaine laughed, all evidence of earlier uncertainty forgotten and he made quick work of his clothes and Kurt’s too. He was just peppering kisses on Kurt’s hipbones when he suddenly was back up at Kurt’s face, grinning mischievously.

”Ugh, more talking? What now?” Kurt asked exasperatedly. 

“Have you ever sixty-nined?” 

“No! Do people do that in real life? I thought that was a porn thing!”

”You precious angel,” Blaine laughed. “I’ve done it lots of times. Do you wanna try?” 

Kurt bit his lip and considered it. It did sound hot, and Blaine looked so earnest.

”Okay, let’s do it.”

”Yes! Okay, I’ll be on the bottom so you can feel like you have more control.” 

Kurt watched as Blaine maneuvered himself to lie flat on his back. He gestured for Kurt to crawl over to him and he helped Kurt swing his leg over his face. 

“This is weird,” Kurt proclaimed, looking down the long expanse of Blaine’s tanned body.

”Just wait,” Blaine laughed from underneath him. “Now lean forward, and feed it to me.” 

Kurt looked down and caught sight of Blaine with his mouth open and waiting. He bit back a groan before reaching his hand down to grasp his cock, pushing it into Blaine’s mouth.

”Oh fuck,” he hissed when he felt Blaine’s mouth around him and he momentarily forgot what he was supposed to be doing. It was only when he caught sight of Blaine’s hips humping up into nothing that he remembered that he had a job too. 

The rest was self explanatory and Kurt didn’t need any more guidance. Kurt leaned forward and took Blaine into his mouth as Blaine hummed around him in satisfaction. 

It didn’t last very long after that. Kurt supposed that this was a wise position on Blaine’s part because it was very difficult to make any loud noises when your mouth was so busy. Kurt found it hard to concentrate on giving Blaine pleasure when he was receiving so much himself but he got the hang of it. Blaine’s hands were palming at the flesh of his ass, poking and prying until his fingers ghosted over Kurt’s hole. It just took a couple presses against it before Kurt was coming down Blaine’s throat with a quiet groan. Blaine followed seconds later.

Exhausted, Kurt collapsed on his side, his leg still tangled around Blaine’s neck.

”Shit Blaine,” was all he could think of to say while Blaine chuckled softly.

They lay like that for a few minutes, breathing heavily and gently touching each other’s soft skin until Kurt grumbled that he had to get changed or he would fall asleep buck naked and backwards.

They moved around the darkened bedroom quietly, Kurt pulling pajamas out of the bottom drawer while Blaine unpacked his own from his bag. They stood side by side and brushed their teeth in the ensuite, giggling and sharing toothpaste kisses. Kurt loved the domesticity of it, and he wondered if Blaine felt the same way. 

The last step before climbing into bed was unlocking the bedroom door and opening it a crack. Once that was done, Kurt turned around to find Blaine awkwardly standing on one side of the bed.

”Um,” he said, gesturing to the bed in front of him. “I didn’t know which side...?”

”Oh! That one! That side is good,” Kurt answered, crossing the room and sliding in next to him. They immediately reached for each other, tangling their legs and hands and lying nose-to-nose.

”You should have known the answer to that question,” Kurt said suddenly, eyes finding Blaine’s in the dark. “You’ve seen which nightstand I keep my vibrator in!”

Both men found themselves giggling like children before eventually drifting off to sleep. 


End file.
